Sunday, November 22, 2009


Getting today's post in under the wire, I think. It's been a busy weekend, and this afternoon is the first opportunity I've had to sit down and write.

About 10 minutes into Sunday School this morning, an overwhelming sadness came over me with the thought about my lost Angel baby. It's funny how it snuck up on me, seemingly coming out of nowhere, just hitting me full force with sadness as I missed the feeling of being pregnant, and anticipating a the arrival of the baby growing inside me.

I've said it before, I know, but I want to be pregnant. I wanted that baby and I miss being pregnant. As I see more and more of my friends getting pregnant (I don't begrudge them their babies or their pregnancies and I rejoice with each of them as they get their BFPs and they grow and anticipate their new little ones) I feel it more - the desire to be there with them.

I go on Tuesday to get my blood work following the miscarriage. Part of me hopes that despite skipping the usual window of fertility, that I am already pregnant again. But I know that will complicate things, too.

On a happier note, today is my SIL, LP's birthday and we went out to lunch at the favorite family restaurant this afternoon to celebrate. We all had a wonderful time and Fuss was joyful and entertaining, despite the fact that lunch was scheduled in the middle of naptime and she was being kept awake by the busyness and surroundings. She was very well behaved and loved mooching food from everyone.

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