Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Mommy Words Name Game (meme)

1. Do you have any cultural or religious naming traditions?

We have no mandatory cultural or religious naming traditions to follow, but we do both really like Celtic-based names and we both come from Celtic origins (Scottish and Irish), though for our first child we didn't actually choose one from that group. (I guess it's got some English origins, though)

2. Did you or your partner come to the marriage with pre-selected names?

Yes. My husband wants our first boy to be a 3rd. I also had a girl's name picked out that I loved, but ultimately, I changed my mind and we didn't use it. It didn't even make my short list at all.

3. Did you consider the sound of the first and middle and last names together? Did this make any sad eliminations?

Yes. Oh yes. And we looked at initials, too so that no "bad words" were spelled out by the initials. Our last name starts with a C so RA and SA were out. One of my favorite names Rebecca Aimee was eliminated because of that combination faux pas.

4. Do you have veto powers?

Both of us had veto powers over things we hated, though I can't veto his "the 3rd" and he takes a step back to girls' names if I insist.

5. Did the baby naming cause arguments?

Not really. we have a lot of similar tastes. And while there are some beautiful names that really don't fit with our last name and his logic ultimately made sense. We didn't fight but there were a lot of "really? you don't like that?" questions.

6. Do you think it is easier to name boys or girls?

Boys. We have a MUCH shorter list for boys than girls.

7. Did you eliminate names because of people from your past or present who you don’t like or because a certain image comes to mind.

Yes!!!! There are a few names I would have put on our short list in a heartbeat, but one of us hated because of negative associations.

8. Did you / would you survey your children to get their thoughts on the name?

Nope. We are much too opinionated to let other people decide what gets to be our decision. We only have the one kid, so far, and we already made the decisions on our next child whether a boy or a girl.

9. Did you tell people the name or possibler names before the baby was born or were they “in the vault”?

We were planning to take 2 secret names to the hospital and decide then. But when it became apparent what the final answer was around 7.5 months, we went ahead an announced it. But we stipulated that we didn't want to hear any negative feedback at all - the decision was final. We also stipulated that we controlled the the nicknaming options - there were some obvious nicknames that we hated, so we wanted to control of that.

10. Did you use baby name books?

Yes! I have a collection. But my favorite, by far is The Baby Name Wizard by Laura Wattenberg. She also has a website full of information and runs a weekly blog. Laura's book doesn't deal with meanings, so I also have a couple of name dictionaries, since meanings are very important to us. 100,000 Baby Names is my most comprehensive.

Drumroll Please…What did you name your kids and why? Well, here, I call her The Fuss. But, obviously that isn't the name on her birth certificate. :)

We chose a very classic name. My qualifications were that I loved to say it over and over, that at least part of it (first or middle or both) had to have a nice meaning, I really wanted to have an association with a song, and I wanted us to just feel right. Her name is related to my husband's name and she has his initials. Her middle name is the name of one of our favorite female historical figures (and my husband is a history buff, so it's even more important). I had a requirement that her name not be in the top 50 of the several previous years Social Security popularity stats. Her middle name is in the top 10 and if it wasn't, we might have actually reversed the order of them. :)

This Meme is brought to you by Brittany of Mommy Words.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Time changes everything

My sister is in town (sort of - a 1-hour drive or so) this week with the kids and so we met today for lunch and play time. I am baffled at how big her kids have gotten. When they left for Sweden 7 years ago, her oldest Corbin, was 2.5. Luke was only a few months old. And neither Mia not Rebecca were even a gleam in their parents' eyes. My sister was not quite 30 years old. So much time has passed - Corbin is 9.5 now. Little Rebecca will be 2 in October. I keep forgetting that my sister isn't 30 anymore (as a matter of fact, that would be my age - well, in 11 months) - time seems to have stopped.

She once said it was very hard to return after so much time - that she knew people's lives would go on, but she found that in many cases her old friends' lives went on and now there is no room for her in their lives. I've noticed that in my own life - how the friendships that were once so important in the past, have fizzled and faded.

Anyhow, to add to the walk down memory lane, we visited our alma mater. I've been there a few times over the last 10 years since my SIL works there and my other SIL played there for a few years after I graduated and then also coached there for a few years. Things have changed so much. The once huge playground with interesting and unusual jungle gyms and equiptment is now about 50 square feet with 6 swings, 2 slides, a 1 jungle gym. Many, many things have changed on campus. New buildings, new landscaping and the number of faculty and staff remaining from our days are few and far between.

Time changes all things, I guess.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Growing Up Too Fast

Fuss was walking around the house this morning, minutes after waking up. She was drinking her morning milk and talking to her daddy. It hit me that she is really becoming a big girl. It seems like just yesterday that I was carrying her around or she was just starting to crawl. She is growing up so fast. She walked the entire length of the mall this weekend. She played in the front yard and greeted the patrons of our garage sale.

She is my best girl. I'm really starting to cherish every snuggle and cuddle lately - I think somehow her rapid growth is reminding me that her days of snuggling on my lap are limited. That one of these days - sooner than I'd like - she's going to be too busy or too old to sit on my lap and hold her after her nap.

Saturday, September 26, 2009


Sometimes I think of the thousands of SAH Moms of generations past and wonder how on earth they did it.... Sometimes it's so tiring and isolating and at least I have my friends inside the computer....
But sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm doing something wrong. Do I have the wrong attitude? Should I spend more time on the floor playing blocks with her? Do I not love her enough? Why is naptime the highlight of my day? Has every mom throughout time wondered these things, or am I alone? Why on earth do I think I can handle another kid?

But then, there are times, like last night when she was sound in her bed (at least until 11) when I just wanted to hold her so bad, it ached... I knew that I do love her "enough" - when I'm apart from her for even a few hours, I miss her. (not that those few hours aren't looked forward to like a kid waiting for Christmas, mind you)

Friday, September 25, 2009

19 months

Today, my beautiful daughter is 19 months old - officially closer to 2 than to 1. Wow. She has grown so much since her birthday - finally catching up with the 50th %ile for height and evening out in weight (she was always a short little thing, but her weight was either higher or right in the middle - no one was worried, but it's nice to see she's evening out now) and more and more often I see her as a little girl instead of a baby.

She's still not talking like I had hoped, but we shall see what happens. A few of her words have gotten very clear in the past month (Dah-deeeee, Mah-meeeeee, Puh-peeee) instead of running together without consonants (Dah-eeeee, Mah-eeeee)

My camera is (at least temporarily, I haven't given up hope that we will find it) lost, so I have no good pics to share. Will have to get the husband to off-load from his computer and who knows how long that will take?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Charting a course - or not.

The first time I was trying to get pregnant and discovered charting, I was ecstatic. A way to know what was going on in my cycle every day? How awesome is that? I was faithful to my temperature taking and rarely missed a day, and then, only in extreme circumstances.

But this time around? That's another story.

I am struggling to remember to take my temperature every day. It has something to do with not waking up at the same time every day - I work 3 days a week, so i get up early those days and sleep in the others. My night schedule is different, too. I used to go to bed at 10:00 every night and sleep until waking time. Now that I have a toddler, that changes. (Like last night when I was up until almost midnight dealing with her middle-of-the-night clingyness.) I am just not doing so hot this month. Add to the daily schedule things the health problems I've had over the last couple weeks and I'm just all messed up in the charting.

I don't know how I feel about it. Part of me wants to just "let it happen" now that I know I'm ovulating. But part of me thinks I'll stress more if I don't know what's happening. I wish I was one of those extra fertile types who gets pregnant when her husband looks at her cross-eyed. :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


I tried an experiment this AM - getting up at 5:30 w/ Daddy Fuss and doing my getting ready then. Um. Yeah. Not working so good. I'm up, I'm dressed but I'm not happy. I am more tired this morning than I was the night I only got 3 hours of sleep.

More tummy trouble yesterday morning and again in the night. What is this? I googled it and got nothing useful. My good insurance doesn't kick in until next week...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Going Overboard

I tend to throw myself wholeheartedly in to projects. I get excited, motivated, and rush in feet first to something that I deem a great idea. When trying to get pregnant the first time, I joined a message board (hi Luckies!) bought books, read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and sort of devoted myself to it like a how-to-get-pregnant bible, took vitamins and supplements and charted like - well, like a charting nut. :)

When going to art school, this meant signing up for classes without really thinking about it ahead of time and signing up for student loans, before realizing what that would mean. I jumped into my classes and really got into them, much more than I thought I would. I had never really been a drawer - I liked to color as much as the next kid, but I knew my skills in actual drawing were really very lacking. But my first course was a drawing course and by the end of 11 weeks I was drawing faces that really looked like faces, etc. I would sit down with my sketch pad every night and draw and draw and draw. I loved it. I continued on for months, well beyond the length of the traditional art classes (my degree was Graphic Design - we took a couple of drawing classes and then moved on to computer-based art for the rest of the course work. But I didn't give up my pencils for a very long while).

When I wanted to learn to sew, I collected fabric and patterns. I still haven't finished the first dress I made for The Fuss.

I really want to get back to my drawing. I'd been thinking about it for awhile, and never actually picked up the pencils and paper to do it. Then I watched the Georgia O'Keefe movie on Lifetime this weekend and I got even more inspired. And then my mom handed me my art portfolios this past weekend when we were sorting through the stuff for the garage sale.

I'm really tempted to go to the art supply store tomorrow and pick up some supplies for the big project I want to do, but I'm trying to hold back. I haven't even started sketching yet, and I don't need to spend money on anything I may or may not actually keep up with, etc. I want to do a colored drawing - a bigger than life red flower - like a gerbera daisy - to frame and hang on the wall. But it's been a REALLY long time since I played w/ colors, and I should really do some practice sketches first, right? I have paper and easels and pencils, etc. but I have no idea where my colored pencils are - my favorite color medium. So I would have to purchase some if I were going to do a color drawing.

I don't know if the temptation will be too great, or if I will be able to resist the thought of new art supplies in my quest for a new project and a new creative outlet. We shall see.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Under the Weather

I have been "under the weather" all weekend. This began at 3am Friday night (er, Saturday morning) when I woke from sleep and realized that I was in pain all over. my joints ached and ached. At5:15 I took my temp (charting) and it was almost 100 degrees. Oops. I dosed myself w/ Tylenol and went back to bed until the dogs woke me at 7:30. Still felt awful, but got up to let them out and climbed back in bed just in time to hear The Fuss wake up and my dog start to bark. He got the baby and I got her milk, mumbled something about being sick and going back to bed and fell back into bed.

The Tylenol helped control the fever. As long as I took it every 4 hours (with one or two mid-dose doses of ibuprofen... I've heard about a lot of moms doing that for their kids for bad fevers, I figured it couldn't hurt me, either...) I could function at least, even if I was extremely uncomfortable all day long.

I took a soak in the tub w/ The Fuss around 7:30. After that, I finally felt human again for the first time all day. (After the Fuss went to bed, Daddy Fuss had a fight, which didn't really help the whole "feeling bad" thing, but we got through it, and then things were much better.) I had a decent night's sleep.

I had some trouble waking up Sunday AM, so he got up w/ Fuss and I got up about 20 minutes later. Soon after, I felt a weird feeling in my tummy and rushed to the bathroom. I'll spare you the details, but let it be known that something wasn't right. And this happened several times throughout the day, so there was definitely something wrong with me, overall.

But we had tons to do - we collected stuff from my mom's for the garage sale, and had to borrow my dad's van to cart it all over. And it started to rain as we were finishing up, so then we had to return the van in a major downpour. (Seriously. As we were driving to my dad's house, we came to a point where I couldn't see the road. This is not a shocker - we get plenty of rain/lightnight/thunder storms in FL, but I had the wipers on full blast and they still couldn't keep up. Thankfully, it's a straight shot to my dad's and there was very minimal traffic, so we didn't have any problems.) We ended up getting pizza for dinner and renting a movie from Blockbuster.

I was finally feeling a little more like myself, but I'm still dealing with these random headaches. And now, apparently insomnia (what is that about? I rarely get insomnia, but there is so much going through my head right now, I guess.) I guess part of my frustration with that is, I so rarely get insomnia that I don't know how to handle it. Usually, I just stay in bed and try and bore myself into sleep. But tonight, the more I tried to do that, the more my mind raced with things to do and projects to start/research, and things to find, etc. Since I have to get up early on Mondays, this is a problem. A Major problem. I will not be functioning at my best level in the morning. I REALLY need my 7-9 hours to be at my best. And the Fuss has already begun her night-wailing so, I know she's not getting her best sleep, either and this leads me to believe it's going to be a rough day.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Garage Saleing

It's been both a frustrating and motivating week at Casa de la Fuss. I have had a ton of things on my list of things to do this week, and have pretty much accomplished them all. But in the category of "try and bring in a little extra money" I failed miserably. I was going to sell some of my beautiful, in good shape (even if they are a few years old) clothes that are way too small for me these days, but the consignment shop I tried wouldn't take any of them. I don't know what that it about. If I could possibly get myself into them, I would wear them in a heartbeat.

So I decided to have a garage sale. Various members of the extended family have discussed doing this many times over the last few years, but for whatever reason, they haven't followed through. So we are taking donations of stuff from my mom, his mom, his sisters, and stuff from his late grandmothers house that has been cluttering up his still-with-us grandmother's living room.

Anyhow, I am feeling very motivated (this girl wants to SHOP) and very excited at the prospect of what could be a very successful venture. :) We have a week - to collect, to set up, and most of all to hope - our sale will be Saturday September 25. I'm really holding out hope that we have success!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Amanda at The Mom Job did a post where she made her dream Christmas list in September, and II thought it was a great idea. Especially since I've been shopping-obsessed lately and have no money to spend, so I've been drooling over things online.

So, without further ado, here is my very own dream wishlist/Christmas list...

It's funny, because I have never spent more than $35 on purse in my life (I'm queen of the Target discounts, you know - and I have never really cared about labels) but a friend of mine recently splurged on a Coach bag and suddenly, I have purse envy. So I have several options for a purse that I would like to point out.

There is this Marc Jacobs number
and I found a similar one on ebay, but I can't copy that picture for some reason. I have decided that I really like this teal color and found another purse....

that I also really like, this one by Coach. (Again - there is one on ebay for about half my mortgage payment that is even more fabulous. What is up with not copying the pics on ebay?) I certainly don't need 2 bags in this color, so givers choice! Haha!

And I have loved the Burberry plaid since the very first time I ever saw it. I own a couple of knockoffs - one a very poor knock off without even a fake label ($10 at a flea market in New Orleans) and another that was a gift from my SIL's trip to NYC. But THIS is my dream Burberry bag.
Isn't it cute?

(Incidentally, while searching for that image, I ran across THIS LINK to the coolest cake EVER. How awesome is that? Anybody wanna make me a cool cake for my 30th Birthday? You've got 11 months to practice.)

In the winter, I also have a thing for boots. I could use a new pair - my brown ones have died and my black ones could stand to be replaced.
It's been so long since I bought a frivolous pair of shoes...

And for something sparkly... My mom's engagement ring (from my step-dad) is a blue diamond, which is quite possibly the prettiest thing I have ever seen. I would love to have some earings that were blue diamonds...

It's nice to dream, isn't it?
While I'm at it, I'd love a new bathroom with a garden tub, a newly landscaped yard, a new couch for the living room, some new clothes for all 3 of us and World Peace. :)

I don't ask for much, do I?

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


During the month of September, the Fuss Household declared a ban on alcoholic beverages. We had several nights of imbibing surrounding my birthday at the end of August and we'll be heading to the EPCOT Food and Wine Fest at the beginning of October (read: one whole day of food and wine, beginning around 9:30AM) and so, we decided that we'd had enough for now, and then Daddy Fuss began a diet competition at work, so it was even more apropo.

But, I have to tell you - this has been a REALLY rough 16 days. I got my period and couldn't drink. I have been dealing with multi-tantrum days and I can't have a nice glass of wine at the end of the day to unwind. Who knew that alcohol had become such an integral part of my life?

I'll be skipping the wine and cocktails at the wine fest, too. It will be CD22 and therefore, in the hopes that I am, in fact, with child, but WAY too early to test. So my friend Meg (who IS pregnant) and I will watch our husbands get rowdy while we just eat and eat. :)

But I told Daddy Fuss, if I DO get my period, we are going to have a rip roaring good time. Blackberry Margaritas all around!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Day of Tantrums

On Tuesdays and Thursdays The Fuss and I go to the park and my friend Jo and her son C (who is around The Fuss's age) go "walking." The kids ride in their respective strollers and Jo and I get some exercise. We do a 2-mile loop without fail, and usually do another 1-mile loop as time and fussiness allow. The kids look around, much on crackers, grapes or whatever, drink from their sippies and occasionally try and hold hands (it is SO cute) and sometimes fuss, but mostly, they are pretty good.

We meet at 8am. Or, should I say 8-ish because I am often late.

Anyhow, this morning... Well, this morning Daddy Fuss didn't wake up until almost 7:30, so neither did I and neither did The Fuss. So from 7:30 until 8am when I was trying to get into the van to leave, she had 3 (count 'em) THREE temper tantrums - crying, yelling, crumpling to the floor wailing tantrums. Every time I would instruct her to do something, etc. She had time outs, she was physically picked up and moved twice, etc. OMG. The Drama.

She was pretty good on the walk itself. Of course, I fed her her breakfast, too so she had little to complain about. But the moment her feet hit the ground outside our house? Here we go again.

What is up with this? Why can't I get her to listen? Why doesn't my non-response or consequences (time outs, smacks to the hand when she is touching something she has been told not to touch-repeatedly, etc.) EVER effect her? The only thing that has ever gotten her to completely stop misbehaving is a smack on the thigh and I don't do that very often. And it's not the threat of such action, it's the ACTUAL smack that gets her to stop misbehaving. She has no concept of consequences. She pushes the limits time and time again. And I try. I really do try to be consistent. I try to enforce my rules and my instructions. But, seriously? How many times can you tell a toddler to "no touch" something in 5 minutes? In 15? In 30? before you go certifiably insane? I think I'm getting close to that point.

Friday, because of MOPs, she didn't get a morning nap and she fell asleep around 1:30. On Saturday, I went to a baby shower for an old friend and she was SO good at the shower (we did have 1 minor tantrum, but we made it through) and she fell asleep at 12:30 in the car on the way home. I tried to do the 1-nap transition, but then she got sick Saturday night and she was feverish on Sunday, so back to the 2 naps. And I couldn't get through work yesterday unless she took a nap, so I guess we're back to this again. I WANTED her to stay awake today - I really have a TON of running around to do today and it would have been helpful to only have to deal w/ 1 nap, but, apparently not.

Tell me again why I want another kid?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Don't know why I'm appologizing...

I'm sorry if you visited recently and got locked out. Somehow, Blogger thought my blog was a Spam Blog and locked it up until i requested a review to prove otherwise. I know I ramble a lot, but Spam Blogs are defined as blogs that have lots of gibberish and what not (usually just random characters - Loren Ipsum and the like) and so there was no Philosopher Jagger for a few days.

But! Obviously, I have been reviewed and found to be okay and so now, here I am back again. I just wish they could tell me what flagged it as Spam so I would know to avoid it in the future. Ah well.

So I'll be back for more later - The Fuss is sick (has a fever) so we tried to go to church this AM, but had to leave part of the way through. She is sick enough to not go hang out with the Walkers in her Sunday School class, but not sick enough that she doesn't want to move around for an hour while Pastor B teaches. I'm afraid Daddy Fuss spent a lot of time walking around with her, instead of sitting in class.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Home is: Where Your Heart Is/Rump Rests

Alexa did a series of posts recently about the homes she has had over the years. Mine aren't nearly as exciting, but hers did make me think a lot about my previous homes (specifically the house I grew up in and what it means to me) and so, at her suggestion, I decided to follow suit.

I have no memory at all of the house my parents brought me home from the hospital to, but then again, I was less than 3 months old when we left it, so I figure, why should I? I do know that my mother always refers to it as "the Hillside house" because it was on Hillside Ave and I know approximately where it is located in the same town I grew up in.

But, at less than 3 months of age, we moved into the house that my father built in the town I call my hometown (which is sort of the same town I live in now. Technically, they are cities, but those who live in big cities would scoff at that. And the area that I live in - well, there is the big South City- and there is a less-big somewhat north city in our county and then there are all these smaller, "city of __________"'s that sort run together in the middle, so that no one really knows where one ends and begins. When we moved into our current house, we were told our address was in unincorporated city of L but when you look it up on any sort of computerized device, our address should be S, not L. Anyhow...) The house is a 3bed/2bath split floor plan, one story with a sunroom that my parents turned into an office a gazillion years ago. We had both a living room and a family room and our family room has a fireplace, which is a rarity in Florida, but my mom wanted one, so she convinced my dad - who hails from Indiana - to put one in and he obliged. Amazing what time does to relationships, isn't it?

I loved that house. And, other than my 1 year of living on campus in a dorm-like situation, I didn't leave it until I got married. It went through changes over the years of course. The first biggest remodel was when my dad moved out the summer I turned 20. My mom gave him most of the furniture, tore up the carpets and wallpapered the walls to get the 19+ years of smoke smell/staining out of the house now that she had control over such things. My room stayed the same and the dining room furniture remained, but that was about it. She put in new carpet in the bedroom (hers - mine had been done when I was in high school) and the living room, and laminate flooring throughout the rest of the house. Eventually, my dog caused the living room carpet to also be removed and more laminate went in there as well. I guess he was trying to assert his independence all over her floor. My father's removal also began what I like to refer to as the "layers" of her decorating whims. In the 9 or so years since they have been divorced, the walls in the house have had at least a 8 different colors painted on them. There was even a time when she tried to hand paint the centers of a floral wallpaper to coordinate, but eventually gave up and ripped it down to add a few layers of paint on those walls as well.

Since getting remarried 3 years ago, she went through a major kitchen overhaul and some aesthetic changes to my old bathroom and the former guest room. She also had the brick fireplace painted and the mantel completely redesigned and replaced.

I moved out of the house into our first apartment upon getting married. We joke that we found the biggest space for the least rent in the county at the time. We had a 950 sq ft, 2 bedroom apartment (1 bath) for under $700 in rent in 2005. It was exciting, but the excitement wore off quickly.
We had picked an apartment toward the front of the complex when we signed our intent and put down our deposit. The front of the complex was nicer and this building was right across from the leasing office, so they kept that area pretty much spotless. Unfortunately, the day we were to move in, they informed us at our arrival that our apartment wasn't ready and we could either wait until the next day (we had taken the day off work and our moving buddy had to work the next day) or take another available apartment, which boasted of new appliances. (new appliances my A$$) at the back of the property. We didn't know better, so we took the apartment that was ready and regretted it for the next 18 months. We lived above 2 different stoner couples and would get hot-boxed as we climbed the stairs to our apartment on a regular basis. We were awakened on several occasions by screaming arguments, car alarms (that would go off for HOURS, I kid you not), one of our neighbors' motorcycle getting repossessed and more. One of our neighbors must have moved from a large house to this apartment and brought all this stuff along. She turned a toilet into a planter, installed a porch swing in our common, shared yard, and tried to put down a wodden pathway all around the building, among other things. She was also about 200lbs and would take walks around the complex in nothing but a sports bra and shorts. We had great neighbors.

We were thrilled beyond measure to move out of there when we could afford to buy a house of our own.

Our current house was found after months of looking. Our realtor found it for us - she saw it and said, "I think I may have found the house you want." She was right. It's a 2 bed/1 bath house (really, I think I would be much more content currently if we had 2 bathrooms, but I'm hoping that can be one of our bigger improvements in the future) with a huge backyard in a family-friendly neighborhood. Our living room/dining room is a great-room style with vaulted ceilings and lots of light/windows. Our front window is one of my favorite features of the house - we have a huge window set underneath 2 unusually shaped windows that follow the shape of the vaulted ceilings. I keep pretty glass bottles and vases in the window - it's beautiful with the sunlight coming through the glass.

We are hoping to do some improvements, as I've mentioned recently. We are planning to enclose the garage to make another bedroom and I'd like to eventually build on to the house and make a master suite, complete with a 2nd bathroom. :) We've already done a lot to the house in the 3 years since we moved in. We re-did the kitchen, replaced the toilet, removed all the awful, layered wallpaper and repainted all the walls. We've painted and put down new flooring in our sunroom and we're getting ready to put a wall-unit AC out there to make it a little more liveable during the summer months and create a play room and office attmosphere.

My mom still lives in the house I grew up in. She is planning to leave it to me in her will (which I hope will not come into play for a very long time) and I will always think of it as home. My daddy built it. It is full of memories of Christmases and play days and all those things that make up a home. I don't know if I will ever live there again, but it is one of those safe places in my heart.

Mops and mopping the floor with me

I went to my first MOPs meeting today.

If you don't know what MOPs is, it stands for Mothers of Preschoolers (and by Preschoolers, I mean pre-schoolage children - no, The Fuss has not entered PreK or anything). It was 3 hours of child-free mom-bonding. I liked it, and one of my good friends and several other friends are involved this year, so it should be a good time. They provide child care for said youngsters and no kids are allowed in the adult room (unless they are breastfeeding - they were sure to add that exception).

Anyhow, it was fun. And The Fuss had fun in her little class, as she always does in Sunday School (the meetings are held at my church and she is in the same classroom for Moppets as she is for SS. She even has some of the same classmates, though there are plenty of moms involved who don't go to church there). But it meant that she didn't get her usual morning nap.

I've been wondering about the nap lately. She's 18 months, and while I love the 2 nap a day thing, many days I've noticed that both naps are getting shorter, and I've been spreading them apart more lately, etc. (I've noticed that I type "etc." a lot. I'm sorry if it annoys. But for some reason, I feel the need to expound without having the words to do so, so I simply type "etc." and expect you to follow along. My creativity is obviously not what it used to be). So, when she skipped her morning nap a few days ago and then passed out in the car at 2:00 while we were running around and had a great afternoon nap, I thought, well, maybe we could do this more often! I love the two-nap thing when we're hanging out at home or work and have no where to go and I have things to do around the house, but I hate letting my entire schedule be dictated by the few hours we have in the middle of the day when she's not napping, so I'm sort of looking forward to the 1-nap thing. I'm not looking forward to the transition, though.

So, we left the church at 12:15 and We started to go home, but then I realized that I wanted to go to the library, and if I kept her up until 2 (as was my plan), I would quickly run out of time to do so. So we ran up to the library. I had several books I wanted to get (all but one were already checked out - which really really stinks, by the way - I don't get that much library time as it is, so missing the next books in the series really blows) and pretty much the minute we stopped in the stacks, she started melting down. I grabbed my one book and left. And then she fussed in the car the whole way home, right up until she fell asleep as we were pulling into the neighborhood. At 1:10. With no lunch in her tummy. And I wasn't sure if they had changed her diaper in Moppets, so I needed to check that out, too.

Parenting FAIL.

She actually slept through the diaper change. I was thinking she'd wake up and I could feed her and put her back down after she ate, and it would be at least closer to 2, but no - didn't work. She was basically unconscious the whole time.

So, now I don't know what to do, really. Should I expect a long nap? Or will her hunger get the best of her and she'll wake to eat in an hour and then need a late afternoon nap which will inevitably mess with her bedtime?

And I'm planning to do the same thing tomorrow. Yup.

I have a baby shower to attend tomorrow about 45 minutes away (one of the "Far Harbors" as my friend K would say) and it's from 10 to 12. My plan was to take her with me so that I can show her off and give Daddy Fuss some time to get some stuff done around the house, but now I'm nervous. What if it goes poorly and she fusses the whole time we're at the party? What if she falls asleep in the car on the way there and then is cranky because I have to wake her up when we get there? What if she wants to run around and tear the place apart because she is both bored and tired (an evil combination when you have a toddler)?

When am I ever going to get the hang of this parenting thing?

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Moving on.

A friend gave me a gift certificate to TJ Maxx for my birthday and I finally had a few minutes today to go check out what they had to offer. I was hoping for a new purse - a friend of mine went to the Coach outlet last weekend and spent a couple hundred bucks on a new bag + and I'm having new purse envy. I certainly wasn't expecting Coach, something a little stylish would have been nice.

Unfortunately, my gift certificate didn't go as far as I would have liked and I couldn't find a purse that I a) liked and b) coupld afford.

But I digress.

I continued to look around a bit - checked out the households and the little girl clothes. I was walking through the kids toys section when I spotted this tiny little baseball mit and ball set. I kinda got choked up standing in the middle of the store. When we first were trying to have a baby - before The Fuss was born - I had planned to tell Daddy Fuss he was going to be a daddy by giving him a tiny baseball mit. (His family has always been a bit baseball obsessed. He and all three of his sisters played at all levels until they graduated high school, his dad coached, his mom served on the little leage board, etc.) But since we were together when I took the test, I didn't get to do one of those sweet little surprises. I kind of always figured I would do something like that when we had another one.

And this morning, I started the heavy spotting after a low temperature, so it won't be this month.

I don't know how to explain my emotions. I'm disappointed, sure. I'm a little sad. But intellectually, I know that we've only been trying for 2 cycles and I really shouldn't be that upset about another BFN. Two months is nothing. We tried for longer than that for The Fuss, so it's not terribly surprising that it didn't happen immediately this time around, either.

But each time I get my period? I get that wave of sadness and disappointment and I can't shake it for a little while.

But we go on. We'll have another month of a lot of lovemaking and we'll really enjoy the process, regardless of whether or not it produces the desired result. :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Several Random Things

Last night The Fuss started to wail and wail around 9:00. We both went into her room to look for her paci or to see if her Maddie the Monkey (her favorite lovie) had fallen out of the crib, as sometimes happens and then she can't put herself back to sleep without them.

She had all her things and continued to cry, standing at the wall of her crib and reaching for us.
My husband left her to cry it out by herself, but I went ahead and scooped her up and sat with her in the chair in her room. She stopped crying immediately, and settled onto my lap without a problem. She fell asleep in my arms. I sat there thinking about how big she's gotten - she doesn't fit perfectly in my lap/arms like she did when she was just a baby - she has to sit on my lap and flop forward to put her head on my shoulder. I thought about how she is my baby - but if/when we have another kid, she won't be the ONLY baby. It made me want to cherish the moment for awhile. I thought I was going to have to justify my actions to Daddy Fuss, when I came out - we really relish our alone/quiet time, and we had been watching a movie together - but I was so sure that rocking her for a few minutes meant more than watching a movie. She's growing so fast that I felt like I won't get this time back - let me just enjoy having only one that I need to care for, etc.
Of course, I would have had to justify it less if she hadn't woken up when I set her down and began to wail again when I tried to leave. :)


I woke up last night at 12:45am. I had to pee. No biggie, this happens once or twice a night. I got up, I went to the bathroom, I climbed back in bed. Only to discover that I had to pee again.
And again. And again.
I was up until after 3:30 (at which time I stopped looking at the clock) with frequency/urgency and some sharp pains and a lot of pressure down below.
I know these symptoms. I've had them before. I used to get frequent UTI's and I'm prone to a really bad type that cause kidney stones if I don't get it treated immediately.
I debated my options for treatment. There is an urgent care/ER down the street, but when I get kidney stones, I shouldn't drive (pain causes me to pass out) and we had the baby asleep in her bed. I also only like to go to the ER (does anybody actually LIKE to go to the ER? You know what I mean) when there is, in fact, an emergency. So a UTI by itself wouldn't count, but kidney stones would. But I didn't really have the major pain associated with stones, so I waited until morning.
But my new insurance doesn't kick in until October 1st, and I don't have a primary doctor right now because of a bunch of insurance jumping around over the last several years.
So I had to go to a walk-in clinic this morning. I had to pack up my active, wiggly toddler and go sit in a waiting room with a bunch of people who didn't feel well for whatever reason. They didn't want a toddler yelling at them and banging the mini blinds against the windows, etc. I felt bad, but what can I do?
I felt better this morning, but still have the frequency/urgency. Driving me crazy, actually.
I'm also 10DPO, so there is a concern about what meds can be given during a (potential) pregnancy. (Usually, I'd take Cipro - but that is a big no-no during pregnancy. Causes defects, apparently.) I keep feeling like I might be pregnant, but I can't tell if it's wishful thinking or actual premonition. The test I took this morning before I left for the doctor was negative and they ran another one for me at the office, also negative.
But, so was the test for infection.
So here I sit, having to pee constantly, with less than 5 hours of sleep from last night. Hopefully, this will resolve soon.


Do you remember the Rice Krispies commercial with the 3 little girls having breakfast w/ their daddy? Every time I saw that commercial (I haven't seen it in awhile, but it's been in the last year or so) I would think of my husband/our family. Something about it always made me think we'd have 3 little girls. That came up in conversation this weekend with Daddy Fuss. He said," oh dear. I will spend all my time being a puddle of mush. You'll have to clean me out of the carpet all the time."
I would love to have 3 little girls. The idea thrills me. Growing up, my jr high best friend was the oldest of 4 girls. They were all carbon copies of each other, too. You could see the stair-steps if they stood next to each other. Dark, curly hair, big bright eyes. I'd love that. But I do eventually want to give my husband (and his family) a son, as well.
I guess we will have to see what God has in store for us.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Pink and Blue and Green

I am into a decorating mode lately. I am looking for projects. I want to get some bedding for The Fuss's big girl bed, which we will be transitioning to in the next year, I'd guess. I want to make sure I have the right stuff. We're also talking about enclosing the garage to make a bedroom, and moving her in there when the new baby comes (eventually - will update you with current status in the next week some time) and if we do that, I can do the decor totally girlie if i want! Yay!

Anyhow, Amanda at The Mom Job is doing this awesome giveaway for a really great pink/brown bedding set. It's geared more toward college age kids, but I think something similar would work great for her.

We've been looking at paint colors for our kitchen, which we got new counters/cabinets for just before The Fuss was born, but we still haven't painted the walls or done anything about the flooring. (It's terrazzo floors - they're fine, but I'd like to put down some actual flooring to make it seem more finished.) I've finally picked out the color paint, and Daddy Fuss will likely be painting it soon.

I have a whole other post about what I want to do in my living room coming soon, too. But these are my projects for now. We recently decided we wouldn't be selling/moving any time soon, so I'm very interested in getting it exactly the way I want it now. Pink an

Saturday, September 5, 2009

In order to cover my husband's rear

If I am ever in a vegetative state, I want to occasionally be referred to as asparagus. Yes. Really. And this post is simply to get my husband off the hook with my mother if she questions it.

(came from a quote from House - I loved it.)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Reading List

I've mentioned a couple of times over the last couple of weeks that I have recently gotten interested in reading Karen Kingsbury books. I got started with Take One. I haven't yet gotten ahold of the second book, but I will eventually! :)

But I've been reading the Baxter series(es? - what is the multiple of series?) and I am enjoying them so much!

Unfortunately for me, I'm trying to read them by checking them out of various libraries, and I don't have access to them all in the proper order. I have read the first 3 of the 3rd series (Sunset, Sunrise, et al), the first 2 of the 1st series and I just finished the 1st book and began the 2nd one of the 2nd series (Fame, Forgiveness). I'm jumping around, obviously, and it takes the mystery out of some of it having read books from later series, but they are still wonderful and I am still really enjoying the characters.

I highly recommend them to any and all who are interested in a good, wholesome read with wonderfully complex characters (some are more ocmplex than others, but that's life, isn't it? Reminds me of the line from Veronica Mars when Logan says "you're not to complicated, are you Dick?" and Dick says, "I try not to be.")

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Job Game

My husband's job is driving us crazy.

I imagine that at some point or another most people hate their jobs. But right now, things are really starting to come to a boil. His hours are crazy and his stress level even during regular business hours is awful. His boss routinely asks for meetings at the end of the day and keeps him well after business hours. He is salaried, so he doesn't get paid anything extra for extra time, either. He's working lots of extra hours, including work in off-hours from home, and 1-2 nights a week where he stays late, plus he mostly doesn't take a lunch break. He's done this a lot over the years, but it usually ebbs and flows - it's not constant practice, it's during a time where there are big project deadlines, etc. This has been going on for months with no end in sight.

He's stressed - there are so many projects that he is working on, both of his bosses keep piling on more and more, they have no concept of an acceptable workload or reasonable deadlines.

I am stressed because he is stressed. When he comes home, I often reflect his mood, so when he is in a dour mood, one comes over me. I try and stop that, but the longer he is grumpy, the grumpier I get, too.

And on days when I'm already stressed? Him coming home later and later just makes me crazy. The Fuss tends to start to freak out around 5:30. His usual coming home time is about 6, but it's been closer to 7 several nights this week. More than an hour of her wailing and whining really gets to me.

He's been looking for another job off and on for months, but he hasn't gotten any calls. There just aren't a lot of openings right now - in any field, I guess. We know it's a bad time to be job searching - everyone is scaling back, lots of companies are losing employees to attrician if not actually laying people off. So despite his degree and his pretty decent number of years of experience, we're getting nothing.

We're praying about it, but it's so hard to wait on the Lord. We're even willing to take a pay cut, but there are limits to that, too.

It's really hard to wait and have no control about it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

It burns near my heart...

We went to my mom's house for dinner and a computer lesson last night (Daddy Fuss was GIVING the lesson) and my step-dad made home made Thai food. I love his cooking. He loves all sorts of eastern cuisine and my favorite is Thai. He likes things spicy (he typically adds spice to everything he eats from pizza to pasta), but usually makes a full meal with mild spice and lets everyone add their own blend of hotness. I didn't add any hotness to what he made last night, though I'm a spicy lover myself. It was delicious!

But oh, did I pay for it afterward! I began to feel uncomfortable on the way home, but remained upright for an hour or so thinking that would help... No such luck. I took a Pepcid - my old friend from late pregnancy days. Worked for a bit and I was able to fall asleep. But 2 hours later I woke to this horrific pain in my chest.

For the next two hours, I dozed sitting upright on the couch in my living room. Talk about uncomfortable.

I went back to bed around 2:30. I woke again at 3:30 and propped up my pillows so I was angled up a bit more. That helped tremendously. By the time I woke at 5 (don't ask me why I woke at 5 - I have no idea) I felt like my chest wasn't trying to burst down the middle for the first time all night. I didn't get much sleep (my husband's alarm went off at 5:30, mine went off at 6 and in between, The Fuss woke up and started to cry. She put herself back to sleep while I was taking my temperature (weird results, but the time was off and I hadn't gotten 2 solid hours of sleep prior to taking it, so who knows?), but I was awake anyhow.

I had half a soda with my breakfast this morning at work and I started to feel funny again. What is with the heartburn?I am sooooo over it right now.


My SIL, LP offered to take the Fuss for a few hours this afternoon. I went to the library, did some laundry, went to the children's consignment shop, and didn't have to share my lunch with anybody. It was nice and peaceful. So here I am, waiting for her to come home. Shouldn't I be out celebrating the freedom?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

O, O, it's magic...

I had a very vivid dream last night. I dreamed that my sister was here and suggested that I might be pregnant. (I keep having this thought due to some random symptoms, but I've had my period and all that, so I'm pretty confidant that I am not), but she convinced me to test (in my dream) and so I did. It came up positive, but I didn't believe it. So I took another, different brand, test. And that one was positive, too. But I still felt I needed to be sure and took another brand, too and they were all positive! The clearest part of my dream now was getting a hug from my sister in my bathroom with her congratulating me on being pregnant.

I am really looking forward to my sister being around a little more this time around. Last time I was trying to get pregnant, she ended up pregnant with her 4th child and was scared to tell me, but she said I was really the only one she wanted to tell. I was thrilled for her and when I called her when she was back over seas to tell her my news she cried so hard! Our daughters are about 4 months apart, which is pretty cool. I know she's not going to be here all the time, since she's living a state away right now, but even still! I'm very happy that she'll be around a bit.

When I woke up this morning and my temp had finally gone up, I was very happy. I don't really believe in signs, since it's never worked out that well for me in the past (I can find a sign in anything) but I'm hopeful. Daddy Fuss suggested a quickie, just to get one more try in, and he set The Fuss up in her high chair, turned on Curious George and gave her some breakfast. I'm afraid our quickie didn't turn out so quick - I think Daddy Fuss was distracted by her gibberish in the next room, but all in all, it was a nice way to start a morning! :)

Who knows what the next couple of weeks will hold? I'm hopeful, but then, I'm always hopeful. I'm ready to have a baby. I'm really ready to be pregnant.