Temper, temper

I'm a redhead, so it's both presumed and reality that I have a temper. Usually, I say that I have a very long fuse but it is attached to a keg of dynamite. As I've grown and matured, I'd like to say that I've gotten pretty good at controlling my temper.

I get irritate by things, of course. You can find me yelling at other drivers when they are inconsiderate or stupid. I have little patience for people who act like morons when they should know better. I'm not the most patient of people. (It's a fault I learned from my dad) But that doesn't get to me really. What makes me mad at myself is when I lose my temper with my daughter.

I guess it's partially that I'm not used to kids. I often don't have the correct concept of what they should know/how they should act/what they should be able to control at what age. I get frustrated when I have to tell her over and over not to do something, or to do something. I get so so frustrated. I always thought that it would be easier. A little consistency, and she would behave, a little instruction and she would follow the rules. But it's every day. It's often every hour. EVERY hour. I have to tell her to come here several times and I feel like I shouldn't by now. She SHOULD obey me, after being taught over and over again that when mommy calls, she is supposed to come. But somehow, it's the same thing over and over. I have to call and call. I have to threaten. Or occasionally bribe.

So then I get mad at myself for yelling at her. Or being less than gentle when I scoop her up to put her in timeout. Or leave her in her crib for too long because she's driving me crazy, even though her timeout should be over by now.

So I'm working on it. I'm trying to discipline without reacting, instead of yelling and reacting. It' s just harder than I thought. So now in addition to being frustrated with her, I'm frustrated with me, too. Hmmmm.