Self-Improvement

My husband is on this self-improvement streak - he's listening to all these podcasts, reading books on marriage, parenting, leadership, business. And I guess it's contagious because I'm doing too. I'm dieting. I'm working out (something I truly hate, but I'm adjusting my attitude), I'm reading the parenting and marriage and budgeting books, I'm listening to podcasts and such on how to improve my business. It's sort of funny, since this is totally not how I saw myself at all. But it's fun to think that I can improve upon myself. It's fun to think that I year from now, I'll be a better person overall.

My one frustration right now is the exercise. And it's not so much the doing it, but I'm getting weird resistance from my husband! He wants me to exercise, he's encouraging on that, but he won't let me sign up for the gym until we "check the budget" even though I've used up my 2 free passes already! And I need the gym and its childcare or I'm not going to do it, you know?

Whirlwind of activity!

Wow. June is turning out to be as busy as May!
On Saturday, we went to Fuss's best friend, Gracie's, 4th Birthday Party. Everyone had a great time. Then we all came home and we all had a nap. Mine was short, though, because I had a Thirty-One party that night and I had to finish packing up for that (since I hadn't quite finished unpacking from our trip yet. Oops!). I had a great time partying with some great ladies and made a new friend!

Fuss started her first VBS of the year (there will be THREE this year!) this morning and had a great time learning and singing and playing with her friends (this one is at Gracie's church and their third little friend is also joining them.) I got some stuff done (errands and a visit with my Gram) and tonight we will be going to cheer on Aunt LP, Auntie Amy, and Uncle Nate at a softball game!

This week is also my MIL's birthday, so this weekend we will be celebrating that on Saturday during the day with the family and then, Saturday night, my wonderful husband and I will be celebrating SEVEN years of wedded bliss on a date night while the kids stay w/ Aunt J (and then Fuss is going to have her first aunt-sleepover and hang out with her Aunt J overnight). Sunday is Father's Day and also the performance of the VBS kids at Gracie's church (we haven't exactly figured out how to schedule all this yet) and a baseball game with my step-dad's side of the family, and dinner with them at my mom's house. And next week is Fuss's SECOND VBS of the summer, with Aunt J!

I also found out that my newly-discovered sister's birthday is this week and I need to make sure to acknowledge that and pester my dad to do so as well. I'm HOPING that some time soon my dad will be going up to his old home town and meeting her face-to-face and I'm really hoping things will work out so the kids and I can go with him and see my aunt and meet said sister. I haven't mentioned it to her yet, though. I don't want anyone to get their hopes too high!

On the diet front, I was very discouraged with my situation when according to the scale at Publix (our local grocery store) I'd actually GAINED 2 pounds this week, but I was encouraged when my mom assured me that the accuracy of that scale is questionable and we bought a scale of our very own that comes recommended. According to that one, I'm a little lower than I was, though of course, you can't really count that since I don't know what I was on that scale at the beginning. Here's hoping. I also used a free pass at the Y this weekend and spent half an hour on the bike. I can totally do the bike thing, but I learned that I really need new athletic shoes! 

the 4th and the 10

We had a wonderful long weekend with Daddy Fuss arriving home on Friday afternoon. The Little Man couldn't stop smiling that first afternoon. It was so cute!

We spent time together on Saturday and Sunday - not doing anything special, per se, but just being together as a family. It was easy and low-key and mostly relaxing. (The non-relaxing parts involved the Fuss being temperamental, dramatic, arguementative and obnoxious. In other words, Being Three.)

We spent the evening of the Fourth at my oldest friend, Cherry's parents' beach condo. Good food, good friends, and brilliant, gorgeous fireworks on the beach.

And here's the T on T questions...

1. What do you traditionally do for 4th of July?
When I was a little kid, we would go with my best friend's family to their beach club and watch the fireworks on the beach. As an older kid, my dad and I would buy the kits at the grocery store and we'd light off the legal ones in the street.

The last several years, we've gone to Cherry's parents' place and watched the fireworks on St Pete Beach. You can see a bunch of shows from that vantage point and it is always a good time.

2. Did you follow your tradition this year? How did you celebrate yesterday?
As I mentioned above, we went there again this year and the kids had fun. Little Man just stared and stared at the pretty lights until about 5 minutes before the end, when the overstimulation and way-past-bedtime-ness hit him. He burried his head in my shoulder and was SO over it.

3. What’s the best fireworks show you’ve ever seen?
Last night's was pretty spectacular. The show got rained out last year, so I think they might have saved up.

4. Have you ever been injured by a firecracker?
No.

5. Burger, Brat, or Hot Dog?
Burgers if I have a choice. I'm not a big fan of brats, so I'd take a hot dog if that's all that is offered. Yesterday we were treated to ribs, though and they were amazing!

6. Do you sport red, white and blue on our Independence Day?
I usually do something akin to that. Often, I sport blue and white (I don't have a lot of red) and claim my hair is red enough to count as my red. I did have the kids decked out in Red, white and blue, though.

7. If you had to be from any country other than the USA, what country would it be?
I'm not sure how to answer that question. I've only been to Canada and I liked it, but I know it would be too cold for me year round, so I don't know if I could live there all the time or not. Maybe England?

8. Charcoal or gas?
Don't care. We have a gas grill and I love it.

9. What’s your favorite thing about this fair country of ours?
Hmmm, I don't know. I love our country, but I'm a little frustrated with some things right now, so nothing is coming to mind. I know there is a lot of good in our country, though!

10. God Bless the USA, My Country Tis of Thee, or the Star Spangled Banner?
I love a well-done version of God Bless the USA. But I also like the other ones, too.

M

MEDS - I've realized that my constant tiredness is a side-effect of the meds - there is a time period in the middle of the day where I can barely keep my eyes open. Before the meds, I was tired from lack of sleep and would have been willing to sleep all day to escape my life. Now, I'm having to fight to stay awake and I'm "self-medicating" with extra caffeine during the day and taking some mid-day naps when the kids are asleep. My friends assure me that I will adjust to it and not feel so sleepy soon. I can take it for a little while, though I do find it annoying!

MISSING MY HUSBAND - My husband left this morning for his week-long trip. I'm anxious about how things will go.

MOM - My mom was unreachable on Friday night and my Gramma got worried and called me. I started calling and texting both she and my step-dad. When my step-dad called me back, he said that she'd gone out at 4:00 with a co-worker "for a drink" and hadn't come home yet. He confessed that he was a little worried about her alcohol intake of late and she wouldn't talk to him about it. He told me the next day that they finally had a really good talk that afternoon about it and he's optimistic that things will improve. I'm still worried about her. I don't know what to say to her if anything at all.

Monday's weekend in review

Blogger just ate my post. Grrr.

So - in review - great anniversary - wonderful dinner out - kids stayed up way too late with my mom and neither was asleep when we got home after 10:30. So yeah, my mom had some babysitting struggles.

Father's Day was good. My husband let me sleep in, made breakfast, took us to lunch and the wine store, let me get a nap, made dinner (I helped, but he did it) and helped me work on my organizing project by helping me completely reorganize our gigantic bookshelf and we've officially begun our reorganize and downsize project for the summer. So yay!

Feeling better about things... the hormones in the BCP must be helping, and I'm beginning to adjust to the Zoloft... I think. I dunno. Today I'm feeling more sleepy and foggy than usual. But! Yesterday I didn't have one of those awful, horrible headaches for the first time in a week, so that's progress!

Mother's Day Recap

I had a lovely Mother's Day weekend. My husband and the kids and I went berry picking with my MIL and SIL on Saturday morning and came home with some blackberries and blueberries and plants of each. They took me out to dinner that night (we couldn't find a babysitter) which was fun, but not exactly relaxing! I know I'm not the only one who would prefer to spend their Mother's Day having time away from her kids, but sometimes I feel bad about it. I did get a kid-free pedicure with my mama on Saturday, which was great, even though they were packed and running behind at our usual nail salon.

We went to church on Sunday and spent an hour or 2 at home (I took a brief nap after icing my back - I'm having some serious back pain lately, even after my chiro appointment on Friday) and then went to my mom's for lunch. We spent the late afternoon on Sunday with 2 unnapped children, but put them to bed early and spent a quiet evening doing virtually nothing (which was incredibly relaxing).

Had a funny little moment in the car on Saturday as we passed some cow fields coming home from berry picking - my husband and I were being silly, making cow sounds, only we were making them a little more realistically, and it sounded more like we were saying "murrrrr" than "moo" and she was so disturbed by this. But we kept going, teasing her - and she yelled "cows don't say 'mur', they say 'moo!'" and while I'm sure you had to be there to find it as funny as we did, it was darn hysterical at the time.

More hair, beautiful Easter, lots of family.

Her hair is growing on me (pardon the pun). At least I'm not mentally cringing every time I look at her now and I can see her hair and think that it's sort of cute.

And somehow, she still managed to get food in her hair last night. Sheesh.

We had a nice Easter celebration. We had a wonderful service at church and one of the songs for special music was an old favorite of mine from childhood so it's been in my head over and over ever since and it makes me happy. I LOVE Easter music. It's so victorious and happy. And considering the subject matter, it SHOULD be victorious. Jesus conquered death. He Lives. It's a beautiful thought.

My family always had nice, relaxing holidays growing up. There aren't a lot of us. I have 2 uncles and 5 cousins and my parents and my grandparents and rarely did we all get together. We would have a nice meal and sit around and visit, the men would take naps... it was all just so comfortable.

My husband's family had a very different tradition. He has 2 uncles and aunts, and between them, they have 12 kids (so his grandmother's grandchildren.) And they are LOUD. And now that they're older, most of the grand-kids are married and producing great-grandchildren. (Before she passed away last year, Gma liked to brag that she had 12 grandchildren, 8 grandchildren-in-law, and 10 great-grandchildren, with one on the way!) Since her passing, there have been 2 more births (including the one she knew about in our Little Man) so now it's 12 great-grand-kids. But they get wild and play games and rough house and jump around, so it's a very different situation between the 2 families. I'm grateful that we have the opportunity to have both. (But I sometimes wonder if my in-laws are bored out of their minds when they join my side of the family for a holiday).

Ugh.

We have all succumbed to some bug or another. This morning Fuss spiked a fever and is currently passed out on the couch at 9:30am. I'd move her, but I don't have the strength. Daddy Fuss got up with Little Man this morning at 3am and let me sleep, so I sent him back to bed once I got up. My mom was supposed to come over to help out/take care of Fuss, but now she's afraid of the germs. I understand that, but I so desperately need the help, that I'm almost at the point where I'm hurt by her rejection.

The adults went to a walk-in clinic yesterday and both got antibiotics. I have bronchitis and something (possibly the flu?) and Daddy Fuss has sinusitis and pharyngitis. I can only take certain antibiotics while breast feeding and I think the Dr. was going to try and talk me into weaning so I could take better meds, but I was pretty forceful sounding when he asked when I was planning to stop breast feeding. Like you can just stop cold turkey or something. Ridiculous. Plus, of course, I would never stop while he was sick like this - if there is one thing I can truly do for him right now, it is to give him that source of comfort and immunity boost.

I ache. My joints hurt. My head throbs. My nose is so congested and I keep coughing and coughing and coughing. I want to eat but nothing sounds good. Not even chocolate.

Weekend in bullets

My weekend was a whirlwind of driving, conversations, visiting with a ton of old friends/family, and staying at a rustic log cabin in the mountains. I cannot seem to organize it all in my head (ask my husband, I keep telling him little snip-its of stuff and it's in no order whatsoever) so I'm putting it down in bullet form.

• The drive up was good. Fuss had no accidents in the car, despite the fact that we were trying to go as long as possible without stopping. We stopped more often for quick potty breaks for both her and us, but it worked and if we hadn't been trying to waste time by trying to find a food place at the very end of the trip, we would have made it in a very reasonable amount of time.
• We stayed with friends of the family that we had never met before and I had been told we were staying "in a log cabin in the woods," but had no idea what to expect. (I would say that about C's sister, to a point - at least the "in the woods" part) But this place was... amazing. It was truly an old log cabin in the woods. We had to drive MILES off a paved road and they live on a small farm, cooked on a wood burning stove and heated their home primarily with their fireplace.
  
• But this house was HUGE. It was bigger than my home in "the city." There was only one bathroom (thank goodness. With a potty training toddler, I don't think I could have handled an outhouse), but they had at least 3 or 4 bedrooms, a living room, an upstairs... it was just beautiful and awesome.
• And they were SO nice. And so much fun. We spent a lot of time just hanging out with them and listening to their stories about their family (current and ancestors) and history and their life. Fuss got to go around with them (so did we, but it was mostly about her) and do their farm chores with them on Saturday morning and she got to see horses, pet a calf and see a cow up close. They also had chickens and a rooster.
  
• Little Man woke up with or before the rooster every day. He seemed to like living the farmer's life.
  
• There were also puppies, recently born, whose mother had hid them under the house to keep warm. They woke us up regularly.
  
• But when we finally got to see them, they were so cute it, we got over whatever inconvenience that was.
  
• Our hosts, the Dovers, drank their own milk (their cow's milk) and shared it with their friends and family) and ate their own eggs and corn (which they grew and milled themselves), and made their own butter (mostly - we did have store bought butter this weekend because she was out and she kept apologizing for that) and cheese. It was amazing.
  
• We ate fresh, organic sausage for breakfast. (They don't raise hogs, but it was their own slaughter and curing, etc.) And grits. Even Little Man sampled grits. (he loved them)
  
• Speaking of which, it was a weekend of firsts for him, as "Uncle Lane" fed him beef jerky and I gave him regular, natural apple sauce (instead of baby food).
  
• One of the cutest things Fuss did was fall in love with the Dovers. On our way to their house for the first time, we were following them up a dark, muddy mountain and she called out "Follow those Dovers!" and on our way back to the house for the last time, she kept talking about them and upon our arrival, we came back in and she ran up to them proclaiming "I missed you!" They were great with her and Little Man.
• Dad F introduced me to people as his "5th kid". That really made me feel good. I know I'm not the only one with that title, but I love that he thinks it/feels it, too.
  
• I've never seen him cry until this weekend. He's a retired Marine, a big, tough guy who is ALWAYS strong. This weekend I saw him walking around with a cane and I witnessed him crying once or twice. That was hard. I'm sure it's even harder for his other kids and grandkids.
  
• Cousin/niece Naomi, who is herself a redhead (it's a family of redheads - I fit in with them more than I fit with my biological extended family) thanked me for helping to bring more redheads into the world. She loved on Little Man a lot while we were there and he loved her back.
  
• Cousin/niece Rachel is getting married in June. I've known her since she was a little kid and when we're together, we're like family, but we don't get to see each often, so I wasn't sure if she would be inviting me or not. I'm psyched that she is.

On the road again...

So, apparently 3 years was the timeline for my daughter to be potty trained. And 6 mos was the timeline for my son to learn to roll over by himself. We've been very busy here at the House of Fuss.

In addition, we just got home fro our trip to Orlando and now I'm packing for our trip (sans Daddy Fuss) to GA. I'm feeling some pressure. So much to do, so little time, and how on earth am I going to make a long car trip with a potty training tot who likes to be able to sit on the potty A) whenever she pleases, and B) which seems to be every 15 minutes? (not always, but often. sometimes she holds it for hours....)

I am thankful that my friend M is coming with me, but I am baffled by her personal situation. She is currently separated from her husband. (It's a very long story) but they have 3 kids together, so you know, they'll never really be separated completely. But anyhow, so she committed to come with me, but her husband is trying to get Saturday off and he's talking about coming up, too, with the kids. Now, between us, we would have to take 2 vehicles anyway because of all the kids/carseats, But I can't seem to figure out if he would be caravan-ing with us, or if he would just happen to be going up at the same time. I have no idea where he and the kids would stay (we're staying with friends of the family) and I don't know if I'm expected to make arrangements or expected to "stick with him" when we travel... and it's just awkward.

We're all old friends from way back, so I understand why he wants to go. But it's still baffling. And it makes me wish my husband was coming with me even more.

I HATE being away from my husband. I really like being around him as much as possible. I like having his companionship, his help with the kids, his support, his strength (both physical and emotional)... so leaving him for even a few days always makes me sad. I'm kicking myself for telling him that if I could find someone else to go with me, that he wouldn't have to.

But we'll be fine. It'll be a whirlwind or a trip and we'll be home on Monday night. It'll be nice to see a bunch of family friends who I haven't seen in awhile. It'll be fun to spend that much time "alone" with M and really get to talk. (We never get lots of time to talk together.)

I'm almost packed and it isn't supposed to be nearly as cold this time, so I'm not as worried about the quantity of clothes or the weather/driving conditions, etc.

"Family"

I feel sometimes like I am "haunted" by dreams about my high school choir director. I think I dream about her/have dreams with her being featured in them more often than anyone else. I wonder if it's because I never got to say good-bye to her? (She passed away the year Fuss was born.) I had an opportunity to get with her about a week before Fuss was born and I didn't do it because I was so uncomfortable and hurting and was having Braxton Hicks so much and then, a few weeks after Fuss was born I had the thought "I should call and go see her and introduce her to Fuss" and about 15 minutes later I got the message that she had passed away.)

Last night I had a dream about her funeral - only it wasn't the funeral I went to, it was like we were planning it and trying to figure out stuff and... it was so weird.

I am planning to get things together to travel back to GA at the end of the week for the memorial service for Mom F. There are so many old friends coming in to town to celebrate her life - people I haven't seen in decades. It's amazing to see and to know how many lives she touched in her lifetime. I think it's important to Dad F to see that, too, that despite being so removed from where they lived the bulk of their lives for the last (nearly) 20 years, that so many people loved and remember her...

This family is so important to me. I remember at the time of my wedding Mom F saying how nice it was that so many members of her family were involved in my wedding, but I really saw them as part of my "family" too. My sisterfriend was my matron-of-honor, her sister played the piano for all the music, their nieces played the strings for my walk down the aisle. My sisterfriend's son was one of my ring bearers and her niece (the oldest daughter of the pianist) was one of my flower girls.

I never had a close-knit family. My mom and dad were married and each had siblings, but we weren't close. My dad almost never made the effort to go back to where he grew up for family holidays or gatherings, so I barely know my cousins on his side of the family. I was close to my mom's parents and one of her brothers, but past the age of about 10, I only ever saw any of my cousins from her side of the family once or twice a year and once I graduated high school, even less. My grandfather passed away when I was 15 and the uncle I was close to passed away when I was 20. I don't have a lot of close family, so I sort of adopted some of my own. These people - this family - means so much to me.

When Daddy Fuss and I were discussing whether or not I could go up for Mom F's memorial service, I made the statement that if she were a blood-relative (or blood-by-marriage) no one would even ask me to skip the funeral. Sometimes, I feel like most people don't give my relationship with these people the credit it deserves - like my connection isn't legitimate, even though, in my heart, these are my FAMILY.

I am glad that I am able to go and that my friend M is coming with me (even though I wish it were my husband instead, I'll take what I can get.) It's not an easy trip with 2 little children and the fact that we're trying to do it in such a short time will make it even harder. But it's worth it, to me, to be there. To pay my respects to a woman who was like a second mother to me for a lot of years. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to see her last month, and I am grateful that I can go again and "say good-bye."

Celebrating 30 years of Daddy Fuss!

Today is my husband's 30th birthday!
I've got to tell you - this man is the best. The cream of the crop, the tops, the most wonderfulest guy in the world. He is an amazing father, a terrific husband, a wonderful friend, a dedicated worker and a fabulous lover (among his other talents). I am blessed to have him in my life and I truly have no idea what I would do without him.

We went out last night to celebrate his birthday. Of course, we were fighting the crowds of Valentine couples, but we had reservations, so despite the fact that we STILL had to wait 30 minutes after our reservation time, it was a great evening with great food, good service and excellent cocktails.

He also bought me a watch for Valentine's Day. I LOVE it. It's ironic, since the last time he bought me a watch (about 7 years ago - Christmas 2003) it didn't go over so well (I thought he was going to propose/give me a ring for Christmas and so anything other than that would have been a disappointment). But new watch for me! Yay!

Man, this post is sort of all over the place isn't it? You can blame my son for that. He woke up every single hour last night with a combination of lost paci and nasal congestion that was causing all sorts of problems. I am consisting on very little sleep and no of what I got was in very long snatches. So I am not making a lot of sense at the moment. Argh.

Screaming

Yesterday we an all day long scream-fest sponsored by my Little Man. I have NO idea what was up, even now. We are assuming it was gas, compounded by over-tiredness since he couldn't sleep due to the discomfort of the gas and his screaming was making the gas worse... you get the idea. Once he FINALLY took a nice long nap (it was about 6:30pm by this point) he got back to his normal self. But wow. There was a lot of screaming in this house.

There was a lot of screaming at my mom's house last night, too. My step-dad and step-brothers are die-hard Packers fans (they grew up in WI) so there was a lot of cheering, groaning, nail-biting and finally exultation during the Super Bowl last night. My only local step-brother was there and they were texting back and forth with the others. It was fun to watch the game with someone who was really into their team winning. Afterward, my oldest step-brother posted on FB that the happiest day of his life was the day he married his wife, but that this was the second happiest. (and oddly, I don't doubt it.) They are THAT into football and the Packers.

There was also a lot of screaming last night in the backyard of my next-door neighbor's house. They didn't get quiet until almost 4am. My neighbor is a Packers fan and had a Super Bowl party and they just were SO hyped that they kept letting out these "hurrah!"s which, incidentally kept waking me up. It baffles me that so many adults can get together and act like children and not have to deal with responsibilities the next day.

The answer is only important if you ask the right question.*

There is large-budget item that my husband has been wanting for a long time. We're finally in a place where it's a good idea, etc. His friend has one that he is willing to sell us, so I planned to buy it for him for his birthday. As we were looking over the budget last night, I mentioned the cost of the item and he pulled out some cash he had stashed away from some side jobs he's been working over the last 6 months or so. He had more than enough to cover the cost of the item, so he said we wouldn't have to budget for it, since the money was already saved. I was bummed, because then it didn't seem like I was giving him a present. And then, of course, I realized that NONE of it was money that I earned and... well, I was kinda bummed.

My husband laughed and handed me the cash and said "well, then, this is your earnings from child care for the last week." How come he has a better attitude about it than I do?

Sometimes I get so frustrated by the fact that I don't "contribute" to the household financially. I love to spend money, but I don't make any at this point in my life. One can argue that if I worked outside the home, we would be spending money on child care, so in some ways, I "earn" that money by doing the child care myself and not having to pay someone else to do it.

Sometimes, though, it's just not enough. I barely got out of the house last week when the kids and I were sick. And due to more/continued illness this week, it's more of the same. I need socialization to feel complete. I want to contribute to our household by doing more than dishes, laundry, and child care. But I cannot think of something that I'd rather do (that I am capable of doing) than be home with my children, so I am at a cross-roads.

I'm looking into some options. I'm researching careers and opportunities to earn, reach out, have a creative outlet, etc. I'm trying to write again - something I haven't focused on since before the baby was born. But it's hard. And it's still not a social outlet, regardless of how much I enjoy it.

*(I was watching The Next Karate Kid on TV and I liked that quote.)

7 Quick Takes

Ugh. My head hurts.

1. Yesterday, I did my work out, but it was sort of half-assed and the baby started crying with 5 minutes to go and I just gave up. I had a bad attitude and I was sore and stressed and I just wanted chocolate. When I told that to my husband he said "sounds like you're about to start your period" and he was right - it did sound like that. But I'm not ready to start my period! Gosh darn it, I should still have MONTHS left of this non-menstrual thing.

2. My step-brother and his wife are pregnant. Like they just-got-2-lines pregnant, she hasn't even been to the doctor yet. And they've told EVERYbody. My other step-brothers and their respective significant others (one is married, one is dating) keep joking around about them having a girl. This is funny because there are no girls in the last 4+ generations of this family. (My step-dad has 3 sons, is one of 3 brothers, has only biological uncles and great uncles, etc.) But my step-SIL wants a girl and B usually gets what she wants. The family joked that she would get a girl no matter what, even if it meant trading babies at the hospital. Even if it meant HER MOTHER would have trade babies at the hospital. Ha ha. I hope it doesn't come to that, because I kind of wouldn't put it past her... (I'm kidding.) (Sort of.)

3. The night of Little Man's vaccines this week, he woke at 2am burning up. He responded quickly to Tylenol and then I rocked him for awhile and he went back to sleep. I didn't take his temp, but he was SO hot, poor little man.

4. We're going to the outlet mall this weekend. We're hoping to get new dishes. And I'm hoping to shop at a few other stores, too.

5. My mom got me one of those scrabble tile necklaces for Christmas. I love the ones she wears and I love the ones I've seen on Etsy, but the one she got me says "It is What it is" and I just don't get it. I'm hoping I can find a way to discreetly exchange it, but I don't know where the shop it that she got it from. There is an Etsy address on the packaging, but the Etsy store is empty. I know mom got it from a local shop, though. I'll have to see if she can tell me where she got it.

6. I want this dress from Modcloth. I can't decide why I love it so much. Is it just because it reminds me of something Emma Pillsbury would wear, or if it really is "me?" I've gotten really into the style of Emma lately, but can't afford it. But this dress is affordable. But I can't really wear one-piece dresses much when I'm nursing... so I'm delaying buying it. But I want it.
7. One cute pic of the kids for you.
Hard to believe this was taken a month ago and Little Man has gained a couple of pounds since then and no longer fits in any part of this outfit except the vest.

The Best Day (for my mom on her birthday)

The Best Day
by Taylor Swift


I'm five years old and it's getting cold
I've got my pink coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides
Look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I forgot all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father
His strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out he's better than I am

I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say that I had the best day with you today



This song always reminds me of my mom. And it should, I suppose, since it's a song for a mom. But it's SO us. I had a pink coat when I was 5 and I used to fall asleep in the car a lot. My friends and I were obsessed with the 7 Dwarfs, even through high school, so the mentions periodically of Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs are particularly poetic. And when I was in 7th grade there was a brief period where all my friends turned on me and wouldn't talk to me, etc. My mom wasn't the only one to try and help me feel better about that, but she helped. And I truly remember thinking that my daddy was the the handsomest and smartest guy out there and my mom was "the prettiest lady in the whole wide world."

I had a great day with my mom yesterday. She helped me take the kids to the pediatrician for Little Man's 4 month appointment, then we went and visited her office so she could get a picture of Fuss sitting at her desk, pretending to answer the phone like I did at a similar age. And then we went to lunch. The kids were well-behaved, lunch was fantastic and I loved hanging out with my mommy.

My mom isn't perfect, but she did a fantastic job being my mom (and pretty much the only parent with an active roll in my life growing up) and she is an even better friend to me now that I am an adult and have children of my own. My mom is one of my best friends and I am so happy to have her in my life.

Happy Birthday, Mama! I love you very much.

Some bits of randomness

• Today is the anniversary of my favorite uncle's birthday. Yesterday was the anniversary of his death. Ironic, huh? All day yesterday I kept thinking "there is something significant about this date" but I couldn't come up with anything other than an obscure former co-worker's birthday. (We haven't kept in touch for over 3 years, hence the "obscure" title) Last night during one of my many wake-ups I realized that it was the anniversary of his death. I'll call my Gramma today to let her know I am thinking of her today.

• Wouldn't it be nice to start the year off with a potty-trained toddler? Yeah. It would. But unless today and tomorrow get a miracle, I'll still be prodding her to pee on the potty instead of in her diaper/pull up/on my couch. (okay, so I stopped putting her in panties because of the one couch incident. Maybe I should say "on my floor" since that's usually what happened when I put her in panties.) She asked me for panties today and I told her that if she could keep her pull-up dry for a few hours, she could have panties. About 15 minutes later, she announced that she had to potty and we went, and she went, but we already had a very wet pull-up. Grrrr. So frustrating.

• I got a great deal on a J Crew cardigan today online. My first J Crew anything, actually. I usually find their stuff too pricey for my budget, but this was a final sale price, plus 30% off, so... a $90 sweater for $20, including shipping and I'm psyched. I'm looking at a lot of cardigans lately because of the Emma Pillsbury inspiration. Her skirts, while adorable, aren't practical for my life, but I can do the cardigans without issue.

• I am heading to Target today to buy some new bins. Fuss got a bunch of toys for Christmas that need to be contained, and they have these huge bins on wheels on sale that I think might fit ALL of our Christmas decorations. Wouldn't it be nice to just have ONE big bin and not have to spread 5 boxes all over my living room at Christmas time? Yeah, I thought so too. Step one to getting organized.
  
  

• My husband got his wisdom teeth removed yesterday (2 of them) and he was going to try and do it with just novacaine. He passed out on them during the numbing process, so they had to put him under. Poor guy was so groggy afterwards. But he was really a great patient and was helping out with the kids by mid-afternoon. He felt well enough to go to work this morning (it was a half day, and there's no reason to eat up his vacation days for a half day if he's feeling okay, I guess.) I wouldn't still be in my nightclothes at 10:45am if he was home, but...

The Haul

I had a pretty wonderful Christmas. My husband and family spoiled me, I spoiled my husband, everybody spoiled the kids and with very few minor incident exceptions Fuss was incredibly well-behaved and she had SO much fun playing with her new toys and entertaining everyone. The Little Man was adorable and cuddly and he loved all the attention and was more than willing to snuggle with every aunt or grandparent who wanted a few moments of snuggle time.

Fuss got a play kitchen from "Santa" and her stocking. (I now know why there was such a good price on the kitchen - we were up until 1am putting it together on Christmas Eve. You had to put apart every individual tiny piece, and it seemed to take forever.) Our plan on the Santa-front is the gifts in her stocking are from Santa and a big gift (yet to be determined if it will happen every year or not) will also be from Santa, but all the rest are from us. You can find the more specified list here. Her Aunt LP got her a soccer ball (she LOVES balls and her local aunts are slowly getting her a set of all the major sports balls - she has a volleyball, a softball, now a soccer ball - can you tell my in-laws love sports?) and she got clothes and such (about the only gifts that didn't get a ton of attention were the clothes. I remember thinking clothes were a boring gift when I was a kid, so I wasn't surprised or disappointed by her reactions.) and my psuedo-step-mom got her a dress that she loved (and so did I!) and her aunts and Grandma got her some nice clothes, too. She is going to be one well-dressed kid! My dad (Grandpa) got her a foam puzzle mat with all the letters and numbers on it to put in her room. It's great fun.

The Little Man got a bunch of clothes from the relatives, too. He got the stacking blocks, a stuffed Eeyore from our Disney trip, those colored rings that will help attach things/can be made into a chain, a hanging owl and from my mom, he got 3 envelopes containing money for outfits as the spring clothes start to come out, since she wanted to get him stuff he'd fit into in the future. My SIL found these neat blocks for him - they move and have different things on the sides that can be manipulated in different ways. Fuss is loving them, and I know he will, too when he's a little older and can really play with them. He also got a set of sensory balls from my dad.

My mom also got them some books, including the Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton.

I got a new iPod nano from my husband, a bunch of movies I wanted and a book. I also got Shape-ups shoes which I've been wanting for awhile. (I can't find a picture on the internet of the ones I got - they are much nicer than the plain, funky-looking ones that came out originally.) "The kids" got me a great package that included a fluffy, luxurious towel, a bath pillow (one of those waterproof ones that attaches to the back of the tub to make you more comfy when you're taking a relaxing bath) and a candle and lotions and bath stuff to help with said relaxation. It was an excellent gift to mommy from the kids. I also got a couple of sweaters from my mom, the book Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks, the sweaters I picked out for myself from my dad, as well as some PJs. My sisters-in-law got us a framed picture of Fuss at the Busch Gardens Sesame Street section (she's being hugged by Grover!) as well as a Chris Tomlin CD and a Publix giftcard (our local grocery store). My stocking was overflowing - I got a new curling iron, a hand mixer and the Wicked soundtrack. I'm psyched. I also got a very-much-needed new razor (Venus Embrace) and some shower gel, etc.

My husband got a new laptop, Burn Notice Season 3, several programming guides he wanted, some new shirts and will get the movie Facing the Giants when my "guaranteed-by-Christmas" package arrives (hopefully today). He also got some labels for his wine, and a springform pan since he's been wanting to try his hand at making a cheesecake.

My mom gave us a check to buy the art of our choice to hang over the bed in our room.

My only frustration is that my MIL is a flake. On Christmas Day she "didn't have time to wrap" so she didn't bring over the presents for the kids. When she was here the next day, for another family gathering, she was going to give Fuss Candyland (isn't she still too young for Candyland? It's a cute idea, but...) and my husband asked her about the play food that she told me she was going to get her to add to her kitchen (this kitchen didn't come with food, unfortunately. She has been baking her Princess figures for 2 days now) and she said, " well, LP said she would get her some for her birthday" (in February). So my husband said, "didn't you buy her some?" (since she told me the other day that she had) and she said, "well, yeah, but I thought she could play with the kitchen for awhile and then when the newness wore off - boom! she'd have a new accessory for it!" My husband pointed out that she was baking princesses in lieu of food... so she agreed to give her the food "now" instead. Of course, she didn't have it WITH her, so... I have no idea when said play food will actually come. If I had known she was going to be like this, I would have bought it myself. I don't care about myself or whatever. Even the Little Man doesn't have a clue at this age, so it really doesn't matter. But I am incredibly frustrated that this somewhat needed accessory that she told me she was going to get for Fuss wasn't there for Christmas.
She is turning into her mother. Gma used to (routinely) "not have time to shop" (she had no life, I never understood this) and would have to get the presents for her grandchildren later (thus resulting in my husband rarely ever getting a Christmas gift from his grandmother.) I never understood this. It's not like Christmas can sneak up on a person, you know?

Overall, we had a very blessed Christmas. I loved setting to spend time with our families, the food my husband made (and everyone else, too) was wonderful. He tried a standing rib roast and crab au gratin for entrees instead of the traditional turkey. It was excellent. And we got rave reviews from the family, so we may do something similar in the future.

7 Quick Takes: Christmas Eve Edition

1. At 2 am I was lying in my bed attempting to get comfortable from the ache in my neck that was making my head pound (again) when I heard the baby start to stir. He was quite congested, poor little guy! He was having trouble breathing while lying down, so I fed him to calm him down and then tried putting him in the bouncy seat (sitting up) next to the vapor-plug to help him breathe more easily. That didn't last long, so by 3, my husband got up and took him into the living room where they both slept in the recliner. Wednesday, Fuss started in with the sniffles (I guess it was Tuesday night, really) and my husband came home from work on Wednesday with the same. I guess it was inevitable.

2. Thursday night some local workers busted through a 4-foot water main that caused little to no water for half the county for the evening/night. I was thankful that almost all of my laundry was done (and none of the stuff that wasn't was needed for the holiday!) but Little Man was supposed to get a bath and he couldn't.

3. I am even more grateful that we have water today. We're under a boil order (boil any water from the tap that you are going to consume) for the next few days, which is inconvenient, but manageable. But we were able to get showers this morning and the baby is now clean and I can do my dishes (which was the highest thing on the priorities for Christmas prep)! I am grateful to the workers and plumbers who worked through the night to get service back as quickly as possible. I am praying for the people in the immediate area of the break that still don't have water.

4. We were able to put two sizable checks in the bank yesterday thanks to the generosity of my Gramma and a payment coming through from one of my husband's freelance clients. I have no idea what to do with the money from Gramma - part of me wants to spend it on clothes and have some fun, but part of me wants to use it towards something more significant.

5. My shopping is done (and then some. Sometimes I think I have a shopping addiction at Christmas. I keep finding little things that I want to get, but that weren't on my original list or radar) and my own wrapping is done. We are hoping to put together Fuss's play kitchen while she naps today so that it is ready to put under the tree once we get her to bed tonight after we come home from my dad's house.

6. We are going to my dad's house for Christmas Eve dinner, as is our tradition. The year my parents split up, I began the tradition of hanging out with my dad on Christmas Eve (and when he was single, I spent the night at his apartment and we went to breakfast Christmas morning, then I'd go home to my mom and have our bigger family celebration that afternoon.) When he moved in with his girlfriend years ago, I would spend the evening with them and go home at the end of the night (at the time, often coinciding with C's exit to midnight mass) and then they began including Daddy Fuss and now it's such a thing that Fuss (and now Little Man) get to open their presents from Grandpa on Christmas Eve, even though both my dad and C come to Christmas dinner at my house on Christmas Day. I think my mom is jealous, but this year, we made the concession that she and my step-dad are coming late Christmas morning and enjoying brunch with us and a private gift-opening session with the kids. This is, in part, due to the fact that my mom went a little nuts with presents for Fuss this year and I don't want my MIL to be intimidated.

7. If I can get the house cleaned up, I am really going to enjoy this Christmas. I love the way Fuss's eyes light up when she gets excited and I know that some of her gifts are going to be big hits this year!

There are no Quick Takes at Conversion Diary this week, but I thought I'd do them anyhow.

Merry Christmas to all! I hope that we can all remember the Reason for the Season and spend time with our loved ones!

Holiday Stresses

My dad called yesterday in a panic. The one employee (working the counter) who wasn't brand-new is in the hospital. He's been having health problems for months, so this isn't a huge shock and he's been working 12-hour days while we train the new people at the other store, so that probably isn't good for him. But this means my dad is up a creek - again - the week before Christmas (our busiest week if things hold true to the past) and I have SO much to do...

My house is a disaster. I still have presents to wrap (and still have some coming in the mail, for that matter!) I have cookies and fudge to make and all sorts of craziness to fix up and organize. We're doing a slightly different Christmas dinner (though, I confess, my husband is taking care of all of that nonsense) so there is that challenge (I am increasingly worried that we'll end up calling out for pizza because it doesn't work out).

I LOVE Christmas time and I feel like there is so much going on that I can't enjoy it. I love watching Fuss and Little Man look at the sights and the lights that surround Christmas. Fuss especially is so much fun this year. I can't wait to see her open her presents Christmas morning.

I am trying to take a deep breath and slow down and enjoy my moments with her. This age only happens once.

I will work 2 days this week for my dad. But then, I'm putting my foot down. I will not work Christmas Eve. (let's see how well I do this when I'm actually talking to him, shall we?)