Friday, February 26, 2010

7 Quick Takes: "I Think I'm Freaking Out" edition

1. I am completely overwhelmed this week with having a sick kid (especially since I was concerned about the cause and she's been back and forth to the doctor's several times), having a 2-year-old, trying to keep up with even a modicum of the housework, and just being tired from lack of good sleep and being pregnant.

2. This terrifies me because having 2 kids in the house isn't going to make anything easier. I know the sleep is going to get screwed up and I wont be able to "sleep when the baby sleeps" when Fuss is awake. And heaven help me if one of them gets sick and gives it to the other.

3. I am completely freaking out that I wont be able to care for both kids sufficiently. I have begged my husband to come home early nearly every day this week - not something he can do on a regular basis, of course. I had this thought today that there was no way this was going to work.

4. I need a nanny or a mothers helper or something. And that is most certainly not in the budget.

5. So many other people do this - and do this with kids closer together in age - and do it better than I can with only one!

6. I haven't had these feelings since I was 3 days post-partum. I haven't actually had the thought that someone was going to take away my children from me (as I did then) because I am a bad mother, but I've had the thought of "what do I do if I really can't do this? What happens if I fail?"

7. Fuss was a reasonably easy baby. She was a good sleeper who put herself on a schedule easily, she ate well once we got the breast-feeding well established. And they say that so often first and second children are polar opposites when it comes to the basics - does that mean I'm doomed to have a difficult 2nd baby? That overwhelms me even more.

For more Quick Takes, click here.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Big Girl - 2

I cannot believe that 2 years ago today there was a little baby placed in my arms for the first time. She had these big, bright eyes that just stared at me for ages. She had these little chubby arms that we called "Michelin Man arms" for months because of all the rolls.

She's come a long way - I remember when her flipping over by herself was a really a big accomplishment. Now, not only can she flip over, but she walks and runs and climbs everywhere. When Aunt Zizi comes to play, she even climbs up Mt Zizi. Her hair is finally long enough for pigtails and she likes to get her "sprouts" put in.

She loves to eat - that hasn't changed! Her favorite foods are NutriGrain bars, goldfish crackers, noodles with sauce, oatmeal, Cheerios, and yogurt.

We've had a run of bad luck health-wise of late, but mostly she's a happy, healthy, active little Sweet Pea.

I am so glad that she is in my life.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

She's swelling, I'm whining.

Yesterday, I took Fuss to the Dr to check out the spots on her body. I had established (with the help of Dr. Google) that it wasn't chicken pox, but my mom had me scared that it was something really bad (measles?) and the Pharmacist at our local drug store suggested Fifths Disease (again, Dr. Google and I discovered that the main and most prominent symptom for that is the bright red cheeks, which she didn't have) and the pediatrician established that they are hives, not some sort of other rash and has jumped on the assumption that it is an allergic reaction to the amoxicillan she was on for her ear infection. (she admits, though that since it happened after the last dose, it doesn't follow the logical pattern and my mother is objecting to the diagnosis and it's stressing me out!)
She put her on a regular dose of Benedryl, and the implication I got was that it would work reasonably fast, but that I'd see the hives worsen again as it wore off every 6 hours. Unfortunately, that was not the case. It didn't seem to have any effect on her whatsoever.
Yesterday evening I noticed that her main joints (knees, wrists, ankles) were swelling, were bright pink and were hot to the touch. I ended up calling the after-hours service at the pediatricians office and we came very close to taking her to the ER. They were really only worried about if her breathing was labored or wheezing (it wasn't) and if her face was swelling (it also wasn't) and said to continue with what I was doing - that the Benedryl could sometimes take 24 hours of regular doing to have effect(!) and I should watch her. Later in the evening, I noticed she was having more trouble walking - the swelling in her feet and knees had gotten that bad. But she fell asleep on my lap shortly thereafter, so we didn't end up taking her to the ER, even though I was tempted to do so. (My mother was getting on me, too. She seemed to want to take her to the ER and usually, my mom is my go-to when it comes to medical stuff - she's a nurse. But I felt like she was just disregarding everything the pediatric people were telling me because she didn't agree and ultimately, we decided to simply go with the pediatric nurses advice.)
She slept okay through the night. We had to get her up at 10 to give her the next dose of medicine, but she went right back to sleep. She stirred a few times during the night, but quieted quickly.
She got up this morning and the swelling had gone way down, though the red spots on her wrists were still horrible and were starting to look bruised. I took her back to the pediatrician around 8 this morning. It was nearly 11 when we left. They made us stick around for a urinalysis and the poor kid wouldn't pee. When she finally did, it came back normal. (Natch! All that trouble for nothing) The Dr. put her on prednisone (which makes me nervous) and we're continuing Benedryl.

My husband was at work all morning and kept leaving his cell at his desk so was unable to answer it. I'm really feeling like no one is being supportive right now, I'm so tired and grouchy myself (my own head is aching and throbbing at this point) and I'm stressed out. Tomorrow is Fuss's 2nd birthday and here she is sick, spotted and my house is a disaster because my plans for cleaning it up have been pushed to the side while dealing with my clingy child. My mom and step-dad are supposed to come over for dinner tomorrow and I have no idea when I'm going to get this place in order.

She's still swollen all over, but not as bad. She's cranky, but I would be if I was swollen, too.
I'm whining, too. We're a sad pair, Fuss and I.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

10 on Tuesday

1. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Our local grocery store has a version of Mint Chocolate chip that I adore. But I'm also into anything w/ chocolate.

2. What is your earliest memory?
Going to pick up my then-best friend from school when I was 4 and wearing the same Osh Kosh Overalls. SHe was only a month or 2 behind me in actual birthday, but it fell so that we were a year behind each other in school. And we both had all these matching overalls and had the same favorite colors so we ended up wearing these overalls in the same order a lot of the time.

3. What is your earliest memory of a dessert?
My piano teacher taking me to an ice cream parlor as a reward when I finished my first book or piano exercises. I think I got something blue w/ marshmallows in it. Smurf, maybe?

4. Do you have any recurring dreams?
As a kid, I had recurring nightmares, but thankfully I outgrew them. Mostly I dream about TV episodes - either ones I'm involved in or replaying the one I just watched.

5. Have you ever dreamed about dessert?
I crave food and dream about it, but I don't remember a specific dessert dream.

6. What is one thing (aside from a cell phone or computer) that you cannot go the entire day without?
My initial reaction right now is: a toilet.

7. What is one dessert you could go your entire life without ever having again?

Anything with rasins.

8. If you could go on vacation tomorrow, where would you go? (Assume someone else is footing the bill, but within reason…so “the moon” won’t work)
New Orleans. In a heartbeat. If I could drink, probably wine country in Oregon/Washington.

9. If you could have any dessert tomorrow, what would you have (assume someone else is buying it for you. Within reason though, no “gold sprinkled ice cream cones.”)
Chocolate Mousse Mouse from this local bakery called Frida's. Yum. Also love warm apple cinnamon stuff w/ vanilla ice cream. My husband makes something we call an apple blob and it's amazing.

10. What was your first impression of your significant other? If you’re single, what was your first impression of your best friend?
He was the best friend of the boy I liked, and my first memory of him, specifically (I'd known who he was much longer than this, but had no interaction w/ him) was after baseball practice. He had dunked his head in water and was spraying me with it. I think my first thought was "hey, quit it!" but I liked that he and his best friend were flirting w/ me/paying attention to me.

11. What is your first impression of dessert pizza? (Personally, I think it’s weird. I love dessert but I don’t want any on my pizza.)
Some I like, some isn't worth the calories.

For more 10 on Tuesday click here.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Big Girl Beds, and Fry Update

So, last night Fuss slept the whole night in her big girl bed and didn't wake up crying at all. She's been waking up and crying for a minute but putting herself back to sleep, but last night once she was asleep, she was quiet. It's still a battle to get her to go to sleep - something we hadn't dealt with in awhile when in the crib - but once she's asleep, things are better. I really hope this continues.

Unfortunately, we have to shut her door until she falls asleep or she gets out of bed, opens the door and stands at the baby gate and screams until we come back and demand she get back to bed. This is more of a challenge in the day time because I can't just wait an hour or 2 (like we do at night when we're going to bed) to make sure she's really asleep, but the adults will prevail!!!! I'm very determined not to put her back in the crib at this point, now that she's full-time in the bed. A friend suggested we take the crib out of her room, but since in 6 months or so we will need it again, it seems silly to take it all apart and that's the only way we could either move out of the room or store it somewhere. I might pull the mattress out and see if that helps. Still to be determined, I guess.

I had a 3-day headache that finally faded into oblivion last night. I also had high blood pressure yesterday (for me, anyway) and am a little concerned about that. I usually have VERY low blood pressure - not so low that it's unhealthy, but no where near the limits of "normal" and yesterday my high number was over 40 points higher than the last time it was taken at my OB's office. I'll have it checked again tomorrow and hope it was just a flukey thing.

Now that she's quiet, I'm gonna go see if I can grab a nap myself - I am still so tired! And I started having this awful nausea this morning - just dry gagging, but it was really bad a few times and I kept having to run to the bathroom, just in case.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Legano, Ne Legano - is gray area*

I read a book in high school about legalism in the church today and it opened my eyes to observe things more closely. Having grown up (from age 5) in the same school and the same church (they weren't officially inked, but we had many teachers from the school as members of the church) I had often blindly accepted the rules as simply what was and just gone on my way. (I wasn't much of a rebel or much of a questioner at the time.)

Before reading this book and seeing the examples of the legalism is described, I had a vague idea of what legalism was. I never would have defined my church as legalistic, and didn't think of my school that way (though looking back, I got the same discipline - an hour's worth of detention - for wearing pink socks with my uniform as I did for the one time I skipped class and I have to ponder that a bit...) but then, after reading it, I began to question a few things. (Seriously, does anyone - God or the neighbors or whatever - care what color my socks are?)

A couple of years ago, my husband and I had a falling out with the leadership of the church we were attending. It was the same church I had grown up in, though there had been a major split during my senior year of high school and the church was under almost completely new leadership by that point, so a lot of things were very different. We left the church and tried to find one that we were happier with. We attended an ultra-modern/contemporary church for about a year and we liked it okay, but had trouble plugging in (we attended regularly, but it was very hard to get involved in smaller things and the small groups they used in lieu of Sunday School classes for the adults just didn't seem to be happening for us) and when they preached a 4-week series on the good stewardship of your financial choices and spent thousands of dollars on decorations and signage (for the sanctuary only - not outside advertisement) to keep up the contemporary look to their "stage" that was only based on this message and they would likely be thrown away or into storage - we decided that this church wasn't one we felt comfortable in.

We ended up at the church we've been at for the last couple of years. We were very familiar with the church in our younger years - many of our classmates and teachers from our school had been active members there - but we really wanted a group or class that fit our place in life at that time. We like it - we're in with a bunch of couples, mostly, it's a young church, though steeped in tradition, so pretty much classic in a lot of ways. It works for us.

But the legalism!

At a women's group I attended recently, we got on the subject of reaching out to those who weren't exactly like us. The example came up (and kept being used) of what our reaction would be if I stripper came in and asked to join us. And the more I thought about it, the more I rolled my eyes. Because - how would we know? I doubt she would walk in wearing a skanky costume or a t-shirt that exclaimed "I dance naked for men for money." So how would we know and why should we care what she does for a living if she wants to hear the message of Christ? If she's seeking the truth, shouldn't we embrace her with open arms, regardless? Do we have to give her a survey to find out if we're comfortable sitting next to her in Sunday School? (granted, that was the point of the discussion, but I still felt that this group of women was being a little judgmental and prone to stereotypes in this context)

This isn't the only example, but it's the most obvious one of late. It makes me wonder if there is such a thing as the "right" church out there, or if, like with people, you have to weigh the pros and cons...

* Anybody recognize this movie quote? :)

Friday, February 19, 2010

7 Quick Takes

1. I'm not really sure what is going on with this crib-to-bed transition we have going on here. She napped in her big girl bed the last two days and did it well. But thus far is not settling down for the evening slumber in the slightest. We are trying to get her to do this without a fight, but I'm wondering that is the best way to go. A friend suggested removing the crib and not giving her the choice anymore, but I have no idea what to do with the crib in the mean time.

2. We are supposed to be having a garage sale on Saturday, but a former co-worker of my husband's passed away this week and his funeral is on Saturday. He will likely not take me with him - another friend and former co-worker will probably go with him and we don't exactly have a babysitter and it's not at a church I'm terribly familiar with (I visited there once when I was 5 - it's the local Catholic church and I don't know if there will be a way to handle Fuss during what will likely be a long quiet process...) so I don't know what to do about the sale.

3. My husband was very nice to me tonight and when I asked him to take me to dinner, he acquiesced. At 4:30 I had no energy whatsoever. I had done some laundry and dishes, and dealt with a 2-year-old all morning and I just had nothing more to give. This baby is kicking my rear. Or maybe it's his/her sister that is doing the rear kicking.

4. I'm adjusting better to the idea of a potential boy for my second child. I've gotten to the point where it's pretty much accepted and I won't be shocked when/if the u/s tech tells me it's a boy. Don't think there won't still be a little fretting on my part if/when that happens.

5. My mom kept a bunch of her favorite outfits of mine and saved them through the years, but I was an only child, so it was easy for her to do that for me. Another friend's mother saved a bunch of dresses and such of hers and at the baby shower for her little girl, she posted pictures with the dresses of Lin in them along with the dresses she used as decorations. But she was one of two kids and the only girl. I guess my question is, is it practical to keep a box of favorite outfits for every child? My plan was to keep a box of special outfits to her and then pass along everything else to other friends with girls, her future siblings, etc. But I think there should be a few things that only belong to each kid. Just as I think that every child deserves a few things that aren't hand-me-downs. But I doubt I'll be able to save as much as my mom saved and I don't know if I feel guilty about that or not. Thoughts?

6. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do about Fuss's birthday this year. We had the plan to go to Disney for her birthday weekend, but we decided to put it off until the fall when it's cheaper and my SIL and my nieces will be here. So I don't want to not do anything, but I don't want to have to spend a ton of money, either since we will in fact be spending money on the Disney trip, just not right away. So what-to-do?

7. I feel huge already, but my favorite maternity jeans are still too big and I haven't gained a pound yet. But I am visibly showing by a LOT. It feels weird because a lot of times I'm even beginning to feel a bit of the hardness that is the sign of pregnancy vs. just being fat. It's especially noticeable at night when - stomach sleeper that I am - I can't comfortably sleep directly on my tummy anymore. The Snoogle has come back to the bed, to my husband's chagrin, but I'm really appreciating it's support at night, and it's even more beneficial layered with my regular pillow since I'm still needing some elevation at night to help with the breathing issues leftover from my cold.

For more quick takes, visit here.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Things on Thursday

I have so many little things to write about today, that I'm bummed it's not Friday and time for 7 Quick Takes. :) So you get bullet points instead.

  • Last night I had a bit of a melt down when in the course of 2 hours I discovered my husband was going to be more than an hour late coming home (and I would have to make dinner without the benefit of a Fuss-distraction), Fuss dumped 1/3 of a box of Splenda all over my (fairly new) living room rug, she then proceeded to feed the dogs handfuls of their food and join them in the snack, I broke a glass while cleaning dishes. I caught myself having irrational, hormonally driven thoughts about how my husband never helps around here (not true) and how there was no way I was going to be able to handle 2 kids at the same time and I would have to give the baby up for adoption or something. (Also not going to happen). I know it's crazy and I even sort of caught myself in these thoughts and was able to say "That's crazy talk!" but it was sort of freaky nonetheless.
  • We've gotten back into this temper-tantrum phase and I'm afraid it's no longer just her not knowing how to handle something, but that's she's 2. The Terrible Twos. Someone please help me get through this.
  • I successfully tricked her into napping in the big girl bed yesterday when she fell asleep in the car and I simply transferred her to the bed instead of the crib. She slept long and hard and mommy was very happy with the result.
  • I had the "quick shopping trip" from Hades today when I ran in to our local Publix to pick up 3 things: Cream cheese, so my husband can enjoy my Gramma's home made date nut bread that she brought him yesterday, Splenda, to replace the box that was emptied in the living room last night, and beer so I can make the Beer Bread mix I just got from my SIL's PartyLite party last month. (I also picked up the ravioli mentioned below). The parking lot was as packed as I've ever seen it, short of the day before Thanksgiving and Christmas and I had an incredibly crotchety old woman check out person. She barked at me that she had to see some ID (I was buying beer, but seriously? I'm nearly 30. And right now, I really look it) and then when she took too long to hit the button to process my transaction and I started to walk away distractedly with my 2-year-old hanging on me like a monkey and fussing, she barked at me again and gave me a lecture about how I have to wait until the transaction has been approved. I think someone might want to get a job that doesn't involve people.
  • My kid loves Chef Boyardee Mini Raviolis. This should be no surprise to anyone who knew me in elementary school (I could have lived off such things at the time) but the fact that she willing ate something with meat in it and then asked for more was astounding to me today.
  • Despite the fact that it's early for her to nap, she asked to go to bed shortly after lunch. At first she said, "cib, cib" so, not in the mood for a fight and since she asked so nicely, I put her in her crib, sang her her lullaby (a derivative of You Are My Sunshine") and left. Several minutes later I heard her begin crying. "Mommy! Bed! Mommy! Bed!" When I went into check on her, she asked to sleep in the Big Girl Bed. She pulled the extra pillow up and asked me to lay down with her, which I did, and she fell asleep rather quickly. I quietly extricated myself from the bed (we put up guard rails, so it's not as easy as it could be) and she is happily snoring clutching her Maddie the Monkey and snuggled up to my old Boppy pillow which she has adopted in the bed. Whatever it takes, right?
So that's my last 18 hours or so. At least the highlights. Sometimes motherhood is a wild roller coaster in the dark and you have no idea which way it's going to turn next.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


I don't know what I was going to blog about today exactly... the update on how we're slowly getting over our colds, a story about the 70-minute fight I had yesterday about sleeping in the Big Girl Bed, maybe. But a couple of friends linked to this story LaylaGrace on FB today and it changed my mind. If you don't want to look or have time to check it out, I will sumerize it for you. Layla Grace is a little girl. She is dying of cancerous tumors and it looks like she will be gone in less than 6 months. I don't know how old she is, as this is the first time I've really looked at her story, but she is young - quite young. She is in pain and suffering and her mother wants to do nothing but hold her, and yet it hurts Layla to be held all the time, so her mother has to let her be by herself. But her mother takes every day as a gift. And I am humbled by her attitude.

Every moment is precious with my daughter. I know that after losing out on moments with my Angel baby, but this was an even more poignant reminder. Every time she gives me a smile, a hug, a giggle. Every time I need to roll my eyes at her sill antics and every time I am exasperated with her attitude or behavior. But I'll take it. I'll take my happy, healthy, curious, silly, healthy, beautiful little girl - I'll take every moment. And I'll be blessed by them.

Every moment of this pregnancy is precious. The aches and pains and tiredness of it are hard, but I usually look past them to the end result. After losing out a few months ago, I thought my perspective had changed, but this reminds me. This reminds me that every single moment is precious.

I love my daughter dearly. Every moment with her is filled with wonder and light and silliness. I am so glad that I was reminded of that today.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

10 on Tuesday

1. If you could open any type of store/place of business (money is no obstacle), what would you open?
A bookstore/cafe kind of place. I know that there is no market for such thing in this day and age of Borders (love me some Borders!), but I have always thought that owning a bookstore would be so cool.

2. If all jobs paid equally, what occupation would you want? Why?
I've always wanted to be a writer (novels and/or screenplays) but I don't know that I have the dedication, etc.
But then, there's the teaching thing. Of course, watching my BFF realize her dream of teaching over the last 2 years has really burned me on the idea... I never wanted public elementary school like she has, but OMG the horror stories!

3. If you could be any animal in the world, what would you pick? Why?
My dogs. They nap, they play, they eat and then really do nothing to earn it.

4. If offered one “service” free of charge, which would you choose? (chauffeur, maid, personal shopper, chef, etc.)
Maid!!!!!! Housekeeper, whatever, but someone to clean!!!!!!! I hate to clean.

5. What is one habit, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to break?

6. What is one thing that no matter how many you own, you still love to buy all the time?
Books. Purses. Take your pick on a given day. I'm worse about books than I am about purses, but that has more to do with my husband regularly encouraging me to purge my collection of purses.

7. Out of all the game shows (past and present), which would you want to be a participant on and play?
I always wanted to be on Family Double Dare when i was a kid. But that's about all I got.

8. If you could play the lead role in any movie that’s already been made, which movie would you pick?
Either The Notebook (Allie) or Gone With the Wind (Scarlett) because OMG, why wouldn't you? There are some parts in musicals that I would love to play, but I think I'd like them better live, even though my dream musical role has a corresponding movie (Brigadoon - Fiona).

9. Name 5 things on your bucket list (things you want to do before you die).
A) See parts of Europe (I've never been out of North America)
B) Watch my kids grow up
C) Write a novel
D) Record some music professionally ( I don't expect it to sell, but I'd love to have a professional recording)
E) Watch Fuss walk down the aisle to a wonderful man and get married.

10. Which one of your birthdays was the best? What did you do that day?
My 28th birthday was pretty awesome. My husband sent me out in the morning with my mom for pedicures and make-overs and he watched my then-6 month old that I rarely got away from since I was BFing. He then took me out to a great restaurant with our best friends and we got a really nice hotel room and played drinking games with the friends. When they left, we spent the night at the hotel and realized a couple of fantasies. :) It was incredible.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Sleep and Sickness

I am sick. Usually, I can manage not to get too bad when Fuss gets sick between the Zicam and the fact that mostly, her colds don't slow her down much so she's not real clingy, etc. Not this time. And it's wreaking havoc on my sleep patterns which were already seriously messed up from all her sleepless and much-interrupted sleep nights. Fun. I spent Saturday night on the couch for 4 hours, attempting to keep from suffocating by sleeping sitting up. You can imagine the back aches.

Fuss slept in her new Big Girl Bed for a nap on both Saturday and Sunday. She's doing okay, but neither nap was her usual 2 hours or more. Is that due to the coughing she's dealing with, or the new bed, I don't know. But we are going to continue the nap-time in the BGB and the crib at night for a week or so. Then we shall see. Hopefully, we will all be feeling better by then.

I still need to order (or have my MIL order) her new quilt, so that her birthday present is complete and then I will take a picture to share. I think it's gonna be cute. My mom keeps arguing with me about my choice of quilts - not that she doesn't like the one I chose, but that there are other, better ones. And you know, she's right. But I really want to do a pink and green theme and this one is pink and green and the others have a lot more of the other colors like purple and blue. And they're pretty, but it messes with my plan, so I like this one. And when we hopefully get the garage converted and move Fuss into her own room, I want to do the whole thing in pink and green and flowers and butterflies (some of her favorite things) so I thought she'd go along with it, but my mom has an opinion on everything, I guess. Hahaha.

Looking forward to nap time this afternoon. Wish us luck.

Friday, February 12, 2010

7 Quick Takes: It's Been a LONG Week

My blog has been dark the last 2 days due to the combination of sick Fuss and single parenting. And now I am getting sick and of course can't take anything before 12 weeks (for those counting, I'm at 10). Also the crazy-worry about my husband who is in Delaware, flying out of Philadelphia, which has been closed for the last 2 days.

1. I am tired. 5 days is too much. Yesterday, I determined that 4 days is too much. I'm at the end of my rope and my patience is gone. Of course, I am also beginning to get sick, so that might be playing a part in that.

2. Fuss has a bad cold which developed into an ear infection. It's her first, 2 weeks before her 2nd birthday, so obviously we're not doing too bad in that department. My best friend's son had been on antibiotics 4 times before his first birthday, for example. I guess my "better to be safe than sorry" attitude is working afterall.

3. The take-out diet does nothing for my intestinal issues. I hadn't had hardly any vegetables in days and my tummy is rebelling. Despite the fact that I'm eating Asian food almost exclusively, it's not nearly as healthy as I would have thought...

4. Fuss hasn't been eating over the last day or so. This is very unusual for her. She's also been taking extra naps that throw off her schedule a bunch. I ended up only working one day this week instead of my usual 3. It really ended up being bet that way, but I feel at least a little guilty (it wavers between a lot and a little) about not doing my part to bring in a paycheck. Our schedule went out the window. I knew I liked schedules, but I don't think I realized how much I depend on them.

5. My husband is scheduled to fly home today and we are hopeful that he will get home on time. I am grateful that they opened the airport this morning. A friend of ours was supposed to fly home from the same airport yesterday and he won't be getting home until Saturday night.

6. My husband's birthday is this weekend and I need to make his favorite oatmeal cake. I hope I have all the ingredients, because I don't really want to go back to the grocery store today. We went yesterday to pick up Fuss's prescription and some "hold of the cold" supplies for me (OJ, Zicam, etc.) We have reservations for his birthday and a babysitter all set up, so I'm really hoping that everyone is feeling up to the plans we have in place.

7. I am very ready for this week to be over. Very, very ready.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

10 on Tuesday

1. Fill in the blank. Sometimes I wish my life was more __________.

2. How do you cure the hiccups?
Curl up and bury my head and concentrate on slowing my breathing. I have to do all of that for it to work - if I lay down, but don't cover my face, it doesn't work, if I cover my face, but don't have my body curled up, it doesn't work.

3. What are three of your favorite indulgences?
Caffeine, chocolate and french fries

4. Where is the most exotic place you would like to travel to? The most mundane?
Most exotic: Italy, most mundane: Oregon

5. Does having your time planned out stress you or relax you?
Usually, it relaxes me, but if it's a short time with lots to do, it stresses me out

6. What are your favourite fabrics to wear?
Silk, tencel, microfiber - I'm very tactile and I love soft, silky fabrics that are rich

7. Do you sleep through the night?
Not since getting pregnant the first time. I have to get up and pee every night without fail.

8. When you were younger, what did you think you would be doing at this age? How close is that to what you are doing?
When I was little, I always thought I'd be a teacher along with a wife and mother by the time I was nearly 30. The wife and mother thing, sure, but I'm pretty far from being a teacher.

9. What has surprised you most about growing up?
How hard it is. How having freedom means have so much responsibility that you don't really have freedom and that that can be really hard and frustrating. I think I thought being an adult was going to be be freeing - that I could do what I want and live my life doing exactly what I chose.

10. Are you good at keeping secrets?
No. I can, when I need to, but I love to talk about new and exciting things in my life, and in the lives of my friends, so I wouldn't say I'm good at it.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Who Dat Say They Gonna Beat Them Saints?

I know this isn't a sports blog...

Have I mentioned that I'm a Saints fan? In 2004, when I was engaged to Daddy Fuss, I came to the sinking realization that my dislike for football was not enough to dissuade my future husband from liking/watching it religiously. In order to get me interested, he began including me in the family tradition of "picks" each week (we go through the games and choose who we think will win the games, I know there is a better word for this, but that's what we call it) and I chose my picks by the color of the jersey or the city the team came from and one of my first favorite teams was the Saints. I love New Orleans and Cajun food, etc. So despite the fact that they really were not a good team, (they've been known to be called the Ain'ts) I faithfully picked them to win each week.

And this year, when they've been a great team. I've been looking for some Saints gear for the last couple of years, but it's impossible to find around here and in order to get it online, you have to pay an arm and a leg (and despite the fact that I follow them, I'm still not enough of a sports fan to really spend the big bucks, you know?) but when they won the NFC Championship and were going to the SuperBowl, I was very excited to find something appropriate to wear to our SuperBowl party. We ended up making a t-shirt (black t-shirt with a gold glitter fleur di lis) and unfortunately, the hat that was purchased for me is, unfortunately stuck just outside New Orleans with a broken-down car that is taking forever to get fixed. (My husband's cousin-in-law is from the New Orleans area and while she was home a couple weeks ago, she picked one up for me. And then, on her way out of town, her car broke down and she's been stuck there for a several extra days.)

But anyhow, I am very happy to have my Saints as the Super Bowl Champs!

Friday, February 5, 2010

7 Quick Takes: More Random

1. My husband is going out of town for the week starting Monday and I am freaking out.

2. We're going on a date tonight for the first time since New Year's. I am more than ready.

3. I have been dealing with a headache more often than not for 2 days. I am very over it. I will have to call my OB on Monday if this continues. They told me not to take anything but Tylenol until 12 weeks, but this is not going to work very well if it continues.

4. My daughter is growing up so fast. At the end of this month, she will officially be 2 and I cannot seem to fathom how fast it is all going. She was snuggling with me last night when she was having trouble going to sleep and I noticed how LONG she has gotten - with her head on my shoulder, her body hung down to my hips and then her little legs just kept going... where did my tiny baby (was she ever tiny at nearly 9 lbs?) go?

5. In some ways, I know this complaint is ridiculous, because my husband is working hard and I can't expect him to be able to drop everything every single time I'm lonely and want to shoot the breeze. But lately, he has been so unreachable when he is at work lately! He doesn't respond to my texts, he doesn't answer my calls as often and when he does, he is always in a hurry. He used to be better about taking my calls, responding to my texts and I really miss it.

6. Fuss has gotten obsessed with the Veggie Tales. Now, there are way more annoying kids shows to be obsessed with, (so I am grateful it's not Barney!) but I only have a couple of videos and I now have them completely memorized! I am going to need to get some more videos!

7. I am looking forward to the the Super Bowl on Sunday and watching my Saints kick some Colt tail!

For more quick takes, click here!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Wickedly Wicked

I had the last minute opportunity to go to see the musical Wicked today, so I have no real post, but I fell in love with the story, the music, everything! I leave you today with the lyrics to one of the more famous songs... Defying Gravity, sing at the end of the first act. It so beautifully done and it kind sums up the plot of the show talking about how how Elphaba (aka The Wicked Witch of the West) realizes her dreams of what the Wizard was were wrong and how she needs to do something about the terrible things going on in Oz...

(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:

(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.

(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em

If we work in tandem:

There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity

They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

I hope you're happy!

Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!

:Bring me down!

No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her



Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Single Parenting (temporarily)

Found out this week that my husband has to go away on a business trip for a week (5 days) next week. Am NOT looking forward to this. I depend on him for so much - my physical and emotional support, to distract the Fuss at the end of the day and help get her up and dressed in the morning. She adores her daddy, so it's going to be really hard when he doesn't come home every night.

My mom always offers to "help" when he has to go out of town, but with her schedule, she doesn't often act as very much help. The last time he had to go out of town, she didn't get to my house with dinner until 7:30 and Fuss has an 8:00 bedtime, so she really wasn't all that helpful except to keep me company for a couple hours before bed.

I think I'm going to skip cooking and do all take-out next week. I've been thinking about it today and I think I can do it on a budget since I only have to feed one and a half people dinners. I'll get some breakfast and lunch and snack foods at the grocery, of course, but I'm thinking Asian take-out and pizza, etc. Fuss will eat it, I won't have to cook and at least there is a silver lining to his being gone.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

10 on Tuesday: First week of Feb

1. What is your favorite travel destination spot?
New Orleans. Love the food, the history, the architecture. Did I mention the food?

2. Cats vs. Dogs.
Dogs. Completely.

3. Do you believe in fate?
To a point. I believe that things are planned, that there is a driving force, but I believe that God is in charge and controls it all.

4. Do you believe in karma?
Only in that I believe that you reap what you sow and the Golden Rule applies.

5. Everyone has a unique laugh. Do you like yours?
I've noticed that I have this weird chuckle going on lately. I haven't decided if I like it or not. But mostly, I have a decent laugh, so yes, I like it.

6. Is love really all you need?
Love is a necessity, but not the only necessity.

7. What’s your take on the whole 2012 scare?
Can I write out that I'm rolling my eyes?

8. If you won a million dollars and had to give it all away, who would you give it to? (Family and friends not included.)
I have several favorite charities, so I'd divide it up for them - The Liz Logelin Foundation, Friends of Maddie,, March of Dimes

9. Do you believe in God/religion/the power of prayer?
Yes, I believe in God, I consider myself to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, not a religion and yes, I emphatically believe in the power of prayer.

10. What New Year’s Resolution do you always make but never keep?
I rarely make New Year's resolutions, but when I do, sometimes they involve weightloss, and even when I lose weight, i usually end up putting it back on by the end of the year, so the net is 0.

For more 10 on Tuesdays, click here to visit Roots and Rings.

Monday, February 1, 2010

A weird case of the Mondays

This is going to be a weird post because I want to talk about several unrelated things and I have no idea how to transition them, so just to give you some warning: weird post.

I nearly fell asleep at work this morning. Partly, this was due to the fact that it was gross and drizzly outside (which is really the best time to sleep, or at the very least curl up on the couch and do nothing) and also that no customers were coming in due to said weather. Also partly to blame: my first trimester.

When the shift finally ended (it seemed interminable) I took Fuss out to the car, slid her in her seat, put my stuff down, and got behind the wheel. I was desperate to stop for gas (riding on fumes) so when I pulled into the gas station, Fuss popped down out of her seat and stood next to me. Yeah. I put my kid in her car seat and forgot to buckle her in. I am not winning Mother of the Year.

I righted the wrong and got my gas and we got home without further incident, but I started to think about what COULD have happened and had a bit of a freak out. Needless to say, will be much more cautious in the future.


The lovely Maggie had a great post this morning about her early days of grocery shopping and it made me think of my own early days of grocery shopping. And so now, i have to copy her. Because I do. Because it's on my brain and I just really think I want to write about it.

So, as a kid, those eating food in my house were just my two parents, both of who worked full-time (and then some at certain points) and me. In later years, my dad was home so infrequently, that I don't remember us making him dinner regularly. But my mom tried to stick with a weekly shopping trip for the most part, but she didn't do the menu thing very often unless there was a request and again, in later years we ate a LOT of fast food because we were out so late and it was just her and me, etc. (I would go to work with her nearly every day after school, or hang out with my "sister" also at work since we owned the place and she would take me home after 7:30, depending on where my mom was working, etc.) She stilled cooked regularly, but I don't know that she put a lot of forethought into the meals when she shopped.

When in college, my parents split up and my mom and I became like roommates. We rarely had a sit-down meal, just the 2 of us and so when we wanted something from the grocery, we would simply go, get what we needed at the time and use it accordingly. But when I started dating Daddy Fuss, we were both working, had few personal expenses (both living at home, rent-free) and to get any sort of "privacy" we would go out. To eat. I love to eat out. He cooked for me at my mom's periodically, but again it was a "go to the store and get what you need" sort of deal.

When we got married, we'd make a somewhat regular trip to the grocery store, but we only rarely felt like cooking after we got home from work and we ate out probably 2-3 times during the work week, and usually all weekend ( we actually had a regular breakfast cafe on weekend mornings. They knew us by name and knew our orders or pretty close. We also had a regular waitress at the restaurant next to our complex who, when we'd walk in the door would yell "you drinking tonight?" and depending on our answer would have our respective drinks - alcoholic or not - on the table before she came to get our order. She also would put in our appetizer order so we could be served immediately. We ate out a LOT).

The thing I regret about this time is that we wasted so much food. We threw out chicken and vegetables on a regular basis for lack of use and age. I wish we had been more responsible about that sort of stuff.