Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Fuss, fashion, Full House, and fasting

I've been trying to do better lately about posting more often. I had a goal last week of posting every day. I blew it, though I think I got close.

The Fuss has been fairly good lately. We're working on a new technique to get her to behave. We're reading To Train Up a Child and it seems to be working. Mostly. I cannot seem to get her to consistently come when called and when I do what the book suggests by physically making her walk to where I was when I called, she collapses into a heap and refuses to stand up again. She sits in passive-aggressive behavior that sometimes escalates to temper-tantrums. Drives me crazy and I have no idea how to handle it.

I am back up to the my pre-pregnancy over-weightness. I hate feeling like this and I really don't know what caused it. I eat what i thought was reasonably. Not always the healthiest, but not awful, either. I even "exersize" more than I ever used to - I walk 2-3 miles twice a week - not exactly training for a marathon, but more than my previous activity (nothing) so I'm frustrated with how much I've blown up lately. I started the SlimFast thing yesterday and did great in the morning, and okay in the afternoon. By dinner I was really looking forward to it, but I kept it to a reasonable portion and was plenty satisfied. I did okay for breakfast this morning, but now it's lunch time and all I want is to EAT!

Random interruption: I am watching a rerun of Full House where Kirk Cameron guest starred. Back when he was such a dream boat. :) Sort of funny to think of him guest starring on his sister's show.

Random interruption II: The Fuss is wearing a dress that was apparently mine. It's really cute, though nearly 30 years out of date and a bit stretched out. I'm hoping to get a picture, but no promises when it will end up on here.

I need to get a dress for a wedding at the end of July. I'm singing a solor for the ceremony, so I have to look nice. It's at one of the nicest hotels in the area, though it's also a beach thing (they're getting married in the hotel, but with a beach theme and beach in the background. I know her dress is formal and the guys will be in tuxes, so I can't just wear a casual sundress or something. Ah, the issues of Florida fashion.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Girls' Night

Tonight my sister and a good friend of ours will be going out for sushi, drinks and dessert for a "Girls' night". I've been planning it all week, but I'm running out of time and I don't know what to do in between dinner and dessert. We're probably going me to need some time in between the two to let our food digest. My first thought was mini golf, but it is SO hot and humid right now, that I don't think that's wise. My second though was getting pedicures, but we run into problems including expense, time, availability so I don't think that will work, either.

It's been ages since my sister and I have done anything similar. It's been ages since I shared a margarita with my sister, come to think of it. We used to do it weekly before she went to Sweden. But the last 2 visits when we had more than a couple of hours together she was pregnant with the 2 girls respectively. It's been about 11 months since I was able to go out with "the girls", too so I am very ready for this.

In the last 6.5 years since my sister has been living in another country a lot has happened. In the 3 families represented tonight.

1. A total of 6 kids have been conceived and born to us.
2. I got married.
3. I've moved twice, including buying a house.
4. Friend M had her marriage nearly dissolve.
5. Friend M reconciled her marriage problems and is doing much better.
6. I graduated from college, got my first in-field job, got let go, and got another job sort of in my field. I lost that one when I went on maternity leave. I am now working part-time in the same job she left me in.
7. I've had major surgery.
8. M's youngest baby had surgery.
9. Both of my sister's boys were diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis (the girls do not have it.)

As you can see, we have a lot to catch up on - that's only the really big stuff.

It's interesting to see what can happen in nearly 7 years of 3 people's lives. I am very much looking forward to our night out.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

16 months

I read The Spohrs are Multiplying almost daily. My heart breaks for Heather and Mike at the loss of their daughter. It seems like a bad dream - a TV show or something, and it's not even happening to me. I keep thinking that she's going to get her daughter back - or that the show will end and the little actress who played Maddie on the Spohr show will come back on screen for a final curtain call, then go on to play some other adorable baby on some CBS sitcom or something.

The Fuss is 16 months today. Maddie was 17 months old when she passed away. For some reason, I am worried about when The Fuss turns 17 months. I have no reason to think that anything will happen to her - she is a very healthy little girl, we take the recommended precautions, etc. But for some reason, that age looming in front of us sometimes terrifies me.

Sometimes I forget, though. And I wonder if I hold my breath if I can rush through this age until she can talk/can be reasoned with/is in school half the day. But I don't want to miss things. I don't want to miss one day of her life. I want to enjoy her and remember her and live every day with her.

She drives me bonkers sometimes, but I love her so much. Some days I want to have another one so badly - I want to recreate this miracle in front of me, I want to relive the early days now that I am more confident. And some days I wonder how on earth I'm going to handle 2! What if the second one is more difficult? What if The Fuss has major jealousy issues that we have to deal with?

Ultimately, I know we will try to have another child. And probably soon. (We're looking at the insurance/cost issues now or we'd probably be off the pill already). But sometimes I wonder what it's going to be like. I guess it will be both wonderful and terrifying at the same time.


Dear God,
I know I live in Florida, so I expect it to be hot, but seriously? Could we have a little rain to ease up the humidity? The rain the other night was useful, but where are my summer showers? My AC is working overtime to keep me from sweating.


Dear Husband,
Thanks for getting up with the baby this morning. And I know I ask a lot, but could you please put away the items you pull out of the fridge when you're feeding the baby? It makes it difficult to give her more when the milk is spoiled/grapes are funky, etc. And the half a bottle of baby shampoo that is missing is from when you let her play with the open bottles this morning. Yeah. Probably not a good idea in the future.

Thanks. And I love you!

Dear Self,
Can you cut it out with the negative attitude? I know you're on your period, have a headache, need some help, but seriously. Isn't your life pretty cool overall? Don't you have a pretty awesome husband, beautiful daughter and a nice house? Life is pretty sweet. So cut the crap with all this complaining. People are starting to thin you're miserable when you're not.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I had plans yesterday weeks in advance. I was going to lunch for a 3-generation luncheon w/ my mom, mom's BFF, her daughter and her kids. It was a couple of months in the making and kept having to be postponed due to schedule conflicts (mostly, my mother's). That got cancelled this past weekend when my mom (again) didn't get her schedule in line for Tuesday.

So I made plans with another friend for a shopping/research trip for that day. (Tuesdays are my day off. I like to have something planned to get us out of the house.) My friend, an old high school friend who I reconnected with via Facebook, is expecting her first child soon and wanted to get some advice on what to register for. We were heading to BRU to check stuff out.

On Tuesday morning, my friend called to cancel. She had aggravated some previous sciatic nerve pain and could barely walk, so shopping was out.

Daddy Fuss was working from home Tuesday morning. We had all had rough nights the night before for varying reasons, so I skipped my walk. The Fuss was all over the place. She couldn't leave her daddy alone - it was sort of like "well, you're here - why aren't you playing with me?" so when my friend called, he politely asked me where we WERE going to go.

I called my sister-in-law and we went to lunch at the mall. Overall, the Fuss did very well, except for when she wanted more of the Chick-fil-A Peach Milkshake (yummy - really, really yummy) than I wanted to give her.

We ended up stopping at Sears and I caught a sale in the baby dept. I found the cutest little shortalls for her - (I had her wear them today and this was probably one of her cutest outfits ever. I wish I had a good picture of it, but I'm sure she'll be wearing it again in the future) and ended up buying her a cute onesie when her diaper leaked and I needed a change of clothes for her.

I finally got my 3-generation meet-up today. It was very nice. It made me think about all the years we've known each other. My mom and her friend have been friends for over 30 years. Her daughter and I have known each other all our lives. I think The Fuss might have her first crush on the oldest son of my friend. She trailed after him all afternoon and then she wouldn't stop hugging him. So cute. He's 2. And adorable. So is she, so maybe they would be a cute couple. (I am so kidding)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Thoughts i've been thinking about

1. When do I move The Fuss into a non-crib bed? I was looking at her this morning when I went in to wake her and she about 7 inches to go until she is the same length as the mattress. I don't think she's going to grow 7 inches over night or anything, but I also don't want her to feel cramped, etc. And I don't want to be in a rush to transition her into a "big-girl bed" when I'm 8 months pregnant because we need the crib for the new baby, ya know? Also: Am planning to skip the toddler bed for twin bed w/ a rail attached, is that stupid?

2. I am concerned about both the development of her speech and the growth of her hair. It is still amazingly thin on top. It's getting longer, curlier (yay!) and thicker in the back, but, especially when she is sweaty, the top of her head looks almost like it has bald patches. When should it be "normal" by? And on her speech - I know she still has 2 more months until the magic age of 18 months, but so often I feel like I work with her really well for a few days and I get a semblance of new vocabulary ("what does a cow say?" "moo", etc.) but then after 2-3 days of her saying said things (if that) she stops. She won't say them any more. Is that normal?

3. Lately, she has been especially snuggly in the morning. I call it AM snuggles. Before The Fuss was born, my dog Murphy the Moo and I would have AM Moo Snuggles. The funny thing is, she climbs into my lap and lays her head on my shoulder or chest for a minute and then starts to wiggle - she wiggles and wiggles until I feel like she's trying to climb into my skin - it's like she wants to be as close to me as possible, and then she wants to be even closer. I love snuggling with her, but the clawing at me can get frustrating. When she is done snuggling, she tends to throw herself backwards. She loves to hang upside down. She loves to just hang there with the top of her head pointing toward the ground. And if I hold her up, she tosses her head back, so she can get as close to upside down as she can with her torso sitting upright. It's hysterical.

4. Yesterday, for Father's Day, we went swimming at my Dad's. Daddy Fuss tried to get The Fuss to hold her breath by blowing in her face just before dunking her. She hates getting water in her eyes (even washing her hair is a traumatic event) so you can imagine it didn't go over real well. My dad was trying to get her to do it, even when we had stopped. Later, she was playing a game with my dad. She was tossing things in from outside the pool - little floaty toys, etc. He would toss them back out and she would throw them in - back and forth. They had moved to the deep end of the pool in their game and she toppled in. My heart stopped for a split second when I watched it happen from the other end of the pool. My dad was an inch away from her. He grabbed her just after she hit the water, she wasn't in any danger, and I knew she was okay. (we never would have let her play at the edge like that had an adult not been close by) My dad thought is was funny. He laughed and laughed. She was startled at best, scared at worst. I'm simply worried that she's going to be so scared of the water that she'll never learn to swim. I never liked getting my face wet when I was a little kid, either - until I learned to swim. Then, I loved it (especially, before I began to think about my appearance and what it was doing to my hair and make up).

5. I'm drinking a lot of caffeine lately. I was down to one can of Coke per day for awhile, with the occasional second one. Then I moved to 2 cans of Coke - one in the late AM and one for lunch. Now, I think I get 2-4 per day and I think that's probably too much. I need to work on cutting back, but I am struggling with it. I love Coke. I love caffeine. I love coffee and lattes, etc. I'm finding it hard to figure out what to drop.

I read this great quote today. I don't know who said it, but apparently, it was said at Eleanor Roosevelt's funeral, about her. She said, "She would rather light a candle than curse the darkness." I love it. I need to remember that more often. I want someone to say that about me someday.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Today marks 4 years since the happiest day of my life.
Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary and I have the best husband in the world. He's not perfect, but he is amazing. He is a great father and a great friend, lover, confidant. I love him with all my heart. I respect him with every part of my being.

The past 4 years have been the happiest in my life. It hasn't always been easy, we've had our ups and downs, but he can always make me laugh with his jokes or a well-placed movie line or his funny expressions or even a random elephant noise. He inspires me with his intellegence, his work ethic and his trustworthiness. He makes me feel like a woman, a beautiful woman, even when I know I'm not. He holds me when I cry and cheers me when I need it. He is such an awesome father to The Fuss - he plays with her, he comforts her, he makes her behave.

He is a good son and brother. He puts up with a lot sometimes, but he does it willingly.

The 8 years before our marriage changed my life, too. He has been my best friend for as long as I can remember not being a little kid (and by that I mean that other than childhood memories, he is in almost all of them). I couldn't ask for a better best friend than him. He is amazingly strong, funny, compassionate, and loving.

He is a hard worker and puts his all into providing for our family.

I think that I am possibly the luckiest woman in the world. He is mine and I love him with all my heart.
Happy Anniversary, my love. May we have many, many more.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Vacation, Part 2

The Philosopher Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."

Sunday we all stayed around the house and pretty much did nothing of consequence. It was lovely. I read a lot, visited with the relatives, watched the kids play together. We threw G-ma a birthday that night. It was nice - full of memories and such.

Monday I went to the Currituck Lighthouse w/ a few relatives and climbed to the top w/ my BIL. It was really beautiful. This is the second time I've been to the top of a lighthouse - the first time I was scared to get close to the edge, but I did a little better this time. :)

Tuesday, a group went to some of the southern islands, but we skipped it. It was going to be an all-day trip (little did they know how "all-day" it would truly be) and we knew The Fuss would likely not do well. We spent the day relaxing around the house again - went to the beach in the morning, splashed in the pool, took a nap... it was very restful. The group who went to Hatteras and Ocracoke came back late - about 8 or 9, I guess. They told the story about how their trip to Ocracoke was not terribly pleasant. The ferry was over crowded and running on a weird schedule and they couldn't get back to the mainland, there are no public bathrooms other than port-o-pottys on the island, the lighthouse there is privately owned and closes at 3 and they didn't get there until later.

But they made it and came back to dinner made by a cousin and a cheesecake that had been delivered as a thank you from the owners of the house, which I thought was a really nice gesture. Their name reminded me of Huntzberger from Gilmore Girls and I kept making jokes to that effect. (It isn't Huntzberger, but sort of similar. I found it amusing none-the-less to think of Logan and his family hanging out on the balcony.)

Wednesday we did some shopping in the local tourist areas - checked out a wine shop and bought some local wine after a tasting. Delicious. I wanted to find a hoodie, but they were really pricey. It was a lot cooler there in the evenings than I had anticipated and I thought it would come in handy. Daddy Fuss talked me out of paying the really high prices that the ones I liked were asking for. We bought a lighthouse shot glass and a Moose magnet. My SIL and BIL made this dinner Wednesday night - "Low Country Boil" with potatoes and shrimp and sausage and corn - it was so good. I'm going to have to try and recreate it since they said it was actually very simple.

On Thursday, we checked out the bookstore that was associated with the blog I've been reading and The Fuss made friends with the owner's daughter who was toddling around at the age of 10 months. She had red hair and her name was The Fuss's middle name, so we thought we'd found a kindred spirit. They played for a few minutes while Daddy Fuss and I looked around. It was a great little store - books and used CDs and crafts and kids stuff. They do a kids craft activity every day during the tourist season which is really great. They were too old for The Fuss, of course, but terriffic for other tourist kids.

We took my MIL out for her birthday Thursday night to a great seafood place - had some really amazing crab cakes - and Daddy Fuss had some steamed oysters and shrimp. A really nice, traditional meal. We had homemade ice cream for dessert at a local ice cream parlor (amazing! We had butter toffee ice cream and oh my goodness was it good).

Daddy Fuss and BIL attempted to go flounder gigging that night, but the weather was all wrong for it, so they came home with no success.

More to come...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Vacation, Part 1

The Philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want..."

How much have I told you about our vacation? I don't remember. I'll start with some background.
My husband is in an extended family of 12 first cousins. His mother's siblings (3 of them) each have 4 kids. Many of them are married, with children of their own. The matriarch of the family, G-ma, turned 80 this year and talk was begun a couple of years back about a family reunion for G-ma's birthday. Lots of ideas were tossed around and eventually it was decided to hold it on the Outer Banks of NC. 18 months later, and my MIL had organized the details and all of my immediate in-laws (Daddy Fuss's 3 sisters, 1 BIL, niece and mom), an aunt and uncle and 3 cousins, their spouses and children were able able to make it. One whole 3rd of the family was unable to make it due to medical issues, money, previous commitments, etc. All in all, 16 adults and 6 kids under 4 rented a big house on the beach in Corolla (pronounced Core-AH-la by the locals) one of the more northern towns on the islands.

There were 8 bedrooms. 4 king-sized beds, 2 queen-sized beds, a room w/ 2 twins and a room with a "pyramid bed" which was a set of bunk beds with a double bed on the bottom and a twin on top. When we asked my MIL what the room assignments were going to be, she basically said she didn't want to be in charge of it. We looked at the layout of the house and made some logical choices based on the locations of the common rooms and the make-up of the couples sharing a room (6 married couples with assorted kids, my 2 single SILs and my MIL and Gma sharing a room).

After much discussion and gnashing of teeth, my MIL decided to throw out our suggested plan (we didn't pick the best room for ourselves, btw - as a matter of fact, we offered to take a room that was a 2nd or 3rd choice because The Fuss can usually sleep through anything and this particular room was right off the game room which was likely to be used late into the night). At the last moment, she declared that G-ma would be taking the king-sized bedroom on the top floor and everything else was first come, first served. Daddy Fuss was peeved, but as we were the first ones there, we decided to make the best of it. I pointed out that his mom was as selfish as the rest of them, since she would benefit from whatever benefit G-ma got.

Anyhow, we checked in, selected our room and moved our stuff in, plus all the groceries we had hauled up, etc. The Fuss was all screwy because she was sick of being in the car, was off her schedule and was in an unfamiliar place where her parents were running around trying to get settled, etc. We were going on more than 24 hours without sleep (we drove through the night and each caught very short naps in the car, but it was not nearly enough to do more than keep us from falling over.)

My MIL, who until 2:00 in the afternoon was under the impression that she was the only one who would be allowed to check in with the rental agency (thankfully, this was not the case) didn't start early enough from the hotel on Saturday morning, so she was hours late for the original 4:00 check in. As it was, we were able to do the check in and we were allowed to check in at 2:30 since everything was ready for us. Others began arriving around 4:30. Relatives poured in and claimed the various rooms. When my MIL and SILs arrived with the rest of the dinner fixings, we had dinner and some people walked down to the beach. Daddy Fuss and I finally got shower. A crazy card game got started and I read and relaxed until I went to bed, where I fell into a dead sleep.

More later. Pictures to come!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Aye yi yi.

I just declared to my husband that we are never going on vacation with his family again. AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET.

I am currently both looking forward to this trip with a vengence and dreading it. I am already frustrated, so I can only hope that once we get there, things will get better.

The Fuss is getting better, finally - if she had a fever today at all, it was mild enough not to raise my mom-ometer. She was sort of fussy today (had to have multiple time-outs, etc.) She has been doing this high-pitched out-of-the-blue shriek when she doesn't get her way and often follows that up with hitting - sometimes she hits an inanimate object and sometimes she hits ME. Which in turn, earns her another time-out. It's a very tiring cycle.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'd love a plate of cheese fries.

CD 2 and I've got the munchies. I crave junk food when I'm on my period - what I wouldn't do for a plate of fries w/ cheese... and a hot fudge sundae... and some southwest eggrolls... ohhhh, eggrolls. How about some sushi? (probably the healthiest item I just listed...)

But of course, I don't have any of that available. I don't even have a vehicle with which to go get any of it, since the van is in the shop getting a few little things fixed before our vacation this weekend...

The Fuss woke up early this morning (6am - she almost never wakes before 6:30 and usually more like 7 if there is no one making noise in the house) and was willing to cuddle instead of hitting the ground running, but she didn't seem hot, even though her last dose of fever-reducing meds was at bed time, 10 hours previous. I figured the 2 doses of antibiotics must have begun to work. We made tentative plans w/ my sisters-in-law to go to the beach and while I am not a beach person (yes, I am a native Floridian. Yes, I live near the beach. Yes, the weather is nice enough year round to actually go to the beach year-round. But I don't like it. I can't really help that.) I was very disappointed when shortly before they were coming to pick us up, I noticed that she was feeling very hot again. According to my less-than-perfectly-accurate thermometer, she was even hotter than she was Sunday and Monday. Yippee. I gave her the last of the infant ibuprofen and we sat around and talked for a bit ( once J and LP arrived) to see if it would kick in quickly or not.

She is acting better - happier, more energetic, quick to laugh as usual - but she still feels fairly warm, so in talking to Daddy Fuss, we decided to skip the beach.
For some reason, this seemed to bother me even more.

I am tired. I have a backache and some mild cramps. I am bored and I really want to get out of the house on my day off. And I want junk food. And wine. Somebody send me some chocolate.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Crumbs on my shirt

When I was preparing to become a mother and imaging my life, I expected to need to carry around a spare shirt when The Fuss was a newborn... certain that there would be leaks and spit-up and such... a spare set of clothes for me was going to be standard, I thought. No biggie. That's babies for ya.

The Fuss wasn't a spit-upper. I can count on one hand how many times she spit-up/threw up since she was born. My obsession with burp rags pre-baby was unnecessary, apparently.

She began running a fever this weekend - the first one of her life more than 100 degrees (it was reading over 102) and we had to take her to the doctor this morning. She was clingy and wanted to snuggle all morning - fussed a lot when I put her down for even a second.

When she had her snack this afternoon and then simply wanted to bury her head in my chest while sitting on my lap - I was covered in cheese smudge (cheese crackers) while at work. But I didn't mind. I have long since stopped carrying a spare shirt with me - she doesn't make that much of a mess on ME, usually - but that was okay. I was right where I needed to be - taking care of my baby who wasn't feeling well.

Amoxicillan (sp?) for 10 days (which naturally runs into our vacation, of course) with a diagnosis of possible sinus/ear infection. Poor baby. Responding well to ibuprofen, but only for 2.5 hours or so before the fever spikes again.