Friday, November 30, 2007

Late nights, etc.

Last night the neighbor behind us (they have 2 kids, teenagers) apparently let their children have their youth group over or something. In the evening I heard a bunch of teens singing praise choruses and whatever. No biggie.

When I went to bed at 9:30 they seemed to be doing a lesson or something – oddly, it sounded like they had a microphone (their backyard isn’t really that big, but whatever). It was distant enough – and only one voice – that I was still able to fall asleep.

I woke at 11:11pm for my first round of bathroom breaks. By this point, it sounded like a party. And basketball? The cranky, tired, pregnant woman in me considered calling the police – they were being awfully loud for after 11 at night, but I behaved and was tired enough that I was eventually able to fall asleep after rejecting the idea of getting dressed, walking over there and telling them to keep it down.

Who let’s their kids have that many people over on a school night? If they do it again, I will calmly complain to Maggie, the mom. I don’t have a problem with them having friends over, etc. but 11:30 at night when most people have to work the next morning is kind of ridiculous to be escalating the noise that’s been going on all night.

Mr. Moose is out of town and I hate that. He’s in Cleveland, OH at a training conference that he really shouldn’t have had to go to. He’s there with a female co-worker – and when that got mentioned to my dad he sort of gave me a weird look. I then felt the need to defend it – it wasn’t his decision, blah, blah. I’m not worried that anything will happen or anything – I know the woman, I more than trust him, etc. but it does look at least a little funny, so I don’t really know what else to say on that. He’s freezing his butt off since, in Florida, we don’t ever have cold enough weather to merit cold-weather clothes. I sent him with layers, a snow cap he bought last February in Indiana, a jacket and boots that are made for walking in ice and snow (that he also bought last time in IN). He had to buy gloves last night since he couldn’t find his.

My dad came over last night to do the grout on the tile in my kitchen (the backsplash – it’s done!). I brought up the subject of my going into labor and asked him if he wanted to know when I did or if he just wanted to know when it was over. He was very adamant that he wanted to know when and be aware, etc. I can’t picture him pacing the waiting room or anything, but it’s kinda nice to know that he wants to be involved. K says that he’s been getting really excited about the prospect lately – I can just never tell with him.

No idea how to finish this post – I’m kind of spacy today.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

On Parenting and Birth

It’s interesting reading parenting articles/opinions on the major things from sleeping to children’s toys lately, etc. I find that I do actually have fairly strong opinions on many things that parents do and I’m not even truly sure where they come from.

On sleeping – I’ve read several books that run the gamut, and I’ve read a few blogs that mention other things. I don’t like the idea of “the family bed” for a myriad of reasons, all of them my personal tastes and personality. I have no issue with someone else doing it if it works for them, but I don’t plan to try it with my own kid. One reason is a practical reason that, even though babies don’t take up much space, it already feels as if our bed is pretty crowded with just Mr. Moose and myself and another reason (that partially tacks onto that one) is that I KNOW I wouldn’t sleep well for fear of rolling onto the baby/smothering her with blankets and pillows, etc. We plan to have the bassinet/pack’n’play next to the bed for the first little while that we bring the baby home, and gradually move her to her room and crib over time. The long-term plan may or may not work, but that’s where I’m starting.

Eating – I’ve mentioned before the distress I feel when I hear other mom’s talking about nursing their 4-year-olds. This disturbs me to no end, though I suppose there is a chance that I might change my mind once I really know what to expect from nursing, but somehow I doubt it.

CIO/FIO – It’s interesting to hear the opinions on this from the internet. I was always told that a baby shouldn’t be picked up the moment that she fusses even a bit so she doesn’t learn to expect that treatment when it’s not practical (like when you’re in the car during rush hour with no way to pull over right away, etc.), but I also know that I could never handle hearing my nephew cry for very long, so I can only imagine what it will do to my heart to hear my own baby crying from frustration if I am trying the CIO theory. So, probably not. (I know to never say never in these situations). I like what The Baby Whisperer suggests which is to pick up the baby when she cries, but as soon as she settles, to put her back down in her crib (in a “it’s time to sleep” situation) and continue to pick her up each time she begins to cry again, but to immediately put her down when she settles. She says that it may take awhile – 30 times in a night the first night, and usually decreasing times in subsequent nights – but that eventually she will learn that you will always come when needed, and there is no reason to fret. But it might not work, and I’m prepared to adjust if necessary.

Lately, I’ve been having more anxiety over impending labor – we went to our first childbirthing class the other night and I watched a video. I turned to Mr. Moose afterwards and said “do you seriously think I can do that?” He assured me that I could, but I am doubtful. I want to go into labor naturally, if possible, but I’m scared of laboring at home for very long, and yet don’t want to be sent home because it’s too early. I’d be willing to schedule an induction, but I’ve heard that inductions usually make it worse and so I don’t want to deal with that, either. I also want this baby out as soon as possible, safely. I don’t want to be one of those moms who is still waiting 2 weeks after her due date. I don’t know that I can handle emotionally or physically a long 20-hour labor. I know they say that you can handle anything is necessary, but I just cannot picture myself going through all that and not begging for a c-section by hour #8. I’ll be labeled “that wussy mom in room 208”, but I really won’t care. Seriously, though. I know when I first got pregnant and read in my books on pregnancy about labor that I was intimidated. Isn’t everyone? But I think I’m more freaked out the closer I get to the point where I’m actually going to have to go through it. For awhile the idea of stretching that far out creeped me out – now it’s less about that, and more about the ability to actually deal with labor and physically be capable of pushing her out of my body. I have never been strong, ,or athletic or had much stamina for any physical activity – ever. So a long labor? I seriously think it would kill me. And I’m scared of the feelings of her crowning, of the possibility of ripping, etc. Okay, now I have to stop talking about this or I’m going to have a panic attack. And I’m at the office, so that’s not a good idea. ☺

Friday, November 23, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

(this is back posted - sorry! I forgot!)

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Thanksgiving was mostly good – Mr. Moose and I got into an argument in the morning while we were finishing the prep around the house and I realized how stressed I’d been feeling and overwhelmed, etc. Part of the problem is, I feel like I have no privacy right now – my dad has been coming over every day, somewhat unannounced, to work on the backsplash for the kitchen, Mr. Moose’s sister and BIL came into town on Tuesday and suddenly, our lives are not our own (they also showed up uninvited Wednesday night) and the house was still torn up and I wasn’t feeling well… you get the idea. He sent me to lay down at noon, not expecting guests until closer to 2 (which is when we asked people to show up, planning to eat at 3). Half an hour later, Mr. Moose woke me to let me know that his great aunt and uncle and grandmother had just pulled into the driveway. Oh boy. In my stupor I overheard something about a cat – his grandmother had brought her cat along in it’s carrier. Without asking or even telling us ahead of time. I like animals, don’t get me wrong, but most of his family is allergic to cats (though this is a Siamese, and therefore not nearly as problematic) and we have 2 very anti-cat dogs in our house (Buck moreso than Murphy, but still). I was ticked, but kept my mouth shut. She allowed us to put the cat in it’s carrier in the back room (the soon-to-be nursery, which I also didn’t like because I didn’t want to get dander and whatnot in the baby’s room – both of her parents have cat allergies, why borrow trouble?) but later, when she decided to take the cat out, she sat herself in the baby’s glider chair – the ONE piece of furniture in the house I have managed to keep completely dog-free. She kept him on her lap, wrapped in a towel (He’s still just a kitten and has limited manners, but if that cat had peed on her and gotten it on my chair, I would have been PISSED OFF).

The food was plentiful and yummy and it all worked out, despite my mismatched dishes (my knock-off china plates and plastic disposable cups – paper napkins left over from my wedding 2 years ago, etc.).

My exciting moment of the weekend, however, included the best garage sale find ever! My MIL and SIL, LB, went garage-saling on Saturday morning. They checked out some sales in a beach community (this often means people with serious money since between the waterfront – or close to it- property and the flood/hurricane insurance you have to have some serious $$ to live there) and found a travel system almost exactly like the one I have registered for (different print) which looked brand-spanking new. The lady claimed her daughter had only been in the infant carrier twice – and I believe her. It also came with an additional base and had nearly all the features I wanted (I still don’t like the main button that holds the 5-point harness together, but I CAN undo it, so I’m much less worried about it, even if I have to trim down my nails eventually to get it open easier). She was selling it for ½ what it goes for retail – so we saved approximately $100 on it AND my MIL offered to pay for it as a joint gift between her and her mother. The only ridiculously expensive item left on the registry is my breast pump (which is not one of those items that I even remotely expected as a gift – I’m simply hoping to get enough gift cards and cash cover it or something). On Sunday we even cleaned out my car enough and installed the carseat base and tested it with the carrier – it’s going to be a tight fit for the passenger seat, but it does, in fact, work, so I’m quite excited. The main thing we needed is here, in my house and I’m so thrilled.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Love and random updates

We tried a new church/Sunday School class over the weekend – it was a couples class at a conservative Baptist church that is right near our house. We had visited heir newlyweds class over a year ago and it didn’t fit us well. With our bible education backgrounds from our private school, light, surface teaching bores us. This class, while including young couples who were further along in their relationships/lives than us, seemed to be more up or alley.

I was relieved to hear the statement during the class that you are supposed to love your spouse more than you love your child – differently, of course, but the spouse more than your child, none-the-less. I had always believed that that was God’s purpose – you are supposed to love Him, your spouse, your children – in that order. I know I sometimes struggle with loving Mr. Moose more than I love God – but that’s a topic for a different post, I think. ☺ So much of what I’ve read lately implies or comes right out and says that your child should be first, etc. It relieved me to hear otherwise from the Bible.

I know I’m going to love Kremit – I already do in some ways and I know that when she is born and I hold her and look at her for the first time, that I will love her even more and my heart and hers will forever be linked. But I cannot imagine or comprehend loving her more than I love my husband. It’s foreign to me.

In pregnancy news, our little girl has been increasing her strength and activity of late and I feel her all the time these days. It’s fun and assuring, though there have been a few times when I have expected her to move and she doesn’t and I get panicked.

Our kitchen, as I mentioned, is basically done, minus the backsplash and flooring. I chose the backsplash tiles last night, and while they are very plain, I think it will look nice. It will also allow me to do pretty much anything I want with the flooring, so I will be choosing that hopefully soon to complete the overall project. I ended up going with my dad’s preferred tile, even though it wasn’t what I originally envisioned. I sometimes think I do that that too often – submit to his preferences just because I want to please him – but overall, I think it’s going to work out nicely. I can’t wait to have a room completely done – not looking for a final detail or waiting for more money until I can fix/replace/install whatever.

I keep looking around my house wondering what irrational thing I’ll want to fix when I go through my nesting period – I’ve noticed several little things and more bigger things. There is a missing bit of paint in the hallway – on the ceiling and a nick in the doorframe outside the baby’s room. We tore out the ugly black rubber baseboards in the living room after we painted the room overall, and we never finished patching/repainting them. I’m really wanting to replace the ugly cheap rug we stuck under the dining room table since between human and dog-related spills one end of it looks really nasty. I found a comparable rug at Target for $35 on sale, but because of the budget constraints, I haven’t bought it yet. I am totally disconcerted by the closet issues in the baby’s room and I really want to replace them. If my dad pays for the tile in the kitchen, we may be able to swing both that and the travel system (which is the bigger priority) from the money mom gave us to help with the kitchen.

Friday, November 16, 2007

The kitchen is nearly complete – there is a chance when I arrive at home tonight it will be done, but more likely tomorrow. This doesn’t include the floor or the backsplash, but at the least “have to for functionality” stuff is done. I’m having a blast picking out tile for the backsplash – but it’s much more difficult now that I don’t have a deadline hanging over me. Of course, I’d better hurry while my dad is still in project mode. ☺

I heard from my sister today that a close family friend just lost her baby at 19 weeks. I am devastated for her (as is she, naturally) and I am thanking God for the blessing of each kick and flutter today.

I arrived home tonight to a sparkling new kitchen. There were some limitations put on the use of it for the evening (caulk was still drying), but it’s BEAUTIFUL! I am so psyched! Pictures to come! We’re going to look at tile for the backsplash this weekend with my dad and we need to determine which linoleum we’re going to put on the floor. I was originally thinking about the possibility of just leaving the terrazzo, but I decided that I really wanted the floor to look brand-new, as well and give the room that completed look. My mom will help me make a valance as soon as I pick out a fabric. I’m hoping to do that this weekend, as well – and I want DH to finally get the baby’s room primed!!! But the dishwasher is in, it looks great and they did a practice run to make sure everything was fine!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Home Improvement

I was informed on Saturday afternoon that the demolition on my kitchen would begin on Wednesday and I needed to have the tile of the current backsplash removed and the entire contents of my kitchen packed by then (or, preferably sooner). We also have a house-full of company coming over on Tuesday night for dinner (which thankfully, will be being prepared elsewhere and BROUGHT to my house) and of course, priming the baby’s room has been back burnered – AGAIN.

Don’t get me wrong – I am thrilled about this new kitchen (did I mention this yet? It’s been a whirlwind. Nutshell: My dad has offered to remodel my current kitchen with certain stipulations for the next couple of years worth of Christmas and Birthday gifts. We were made the offer on Saturday, a week ago, had picked out the colors for cabinets and countertops by the next day and dad had a drawing done by the cabinet-maker by Sunday night. – Papa Moose does nothing halfway.), but all of a sudden, things got very overwhelming. There was a brief crying fest as I attempted to finalize my grocery list for a week where I will only have access to the kitchen to cook for one-two days (including one with 8 guests).

Also, I am frustrated with the lack of forward progress on the baby’s room. I have been attempting to “clean” the Rubbermaid wired shelves that were left by the previous owner of the house. They have begun to break down, apparently and feel quite sticky and many of them have a gross yellowish ook on them that can only be removed by lots of rubbing with alcohol. It’s very slow going and since I’m not convinced that I like the configuration and they are very old-school so they can’t easily be moved around to a different configuration, I have stopped after several hours yesterday to get a second opinion from my mother. Mr. Moose was unable to do any work over the weekend on the patching and scraping of the walls due to yardwork/a last minute concert e attended Saturday night/plans with friends/a work thing/ demolition on the kitchen taking precedence. (He was obviously QUITE busy.) I really wanted it DONE by Thanksgiving, but that isn’t happening – at this point I’d be happy if it was PRIMED by then, but I’m not holding my breath. Mom’s friend is going to help with the fancy painting – possibly doing a mural on one wall – and I need to have her over to look at the space, but was hoping to do so after it was primed so it didn’t look so terrible.

I’ve had some Braxton hicks contractions today, and just came to the realization that I’m getting pretty near 30 weeks (I’m 25 weeks today). This seems like a mile-stone to me (30 weeks, that is) because I’ve very much been looking forward to it for some reason. I just figured it out on my calendar, though that 32 weeks occurs on New Year’s Eve which is MUCH too early for the baby to come even though somehow I had it in my head that if she were to come really early, I’d be okay as long as it was after 32 weeks. Anyway – the mind of a pregnant woman is a weird thing, I assure you.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


We did the high school Homecoming thing this past weekend. They were having a ceremony to honor the first football team our school had had 10 years ago (Mr. Moose was one of the captains of said team) and he was invited to come out and participate. Considering my boss happens to be a member of the school board and the member in charge of this event, I figured it would be ideal to encourage him to go. Not that it took too much effort – he was thrilled to relive his football memories. I was a little bored – I hung out with my MIL and SIL most of the night with a few visits to some old friends of other classes (none of my own classmates were there – secretly still protesting the addition of football to our fair school, perhaps? We were Seniors when they announced that they would be adding a football program the following year and none of us were terribly thrilled about it. As I recall, we all silently protested it by skipping the lunch-time pep rally thrown to kick it off and for once, all showed up early to our 6th period classes despite the fact that most of the other students and teachers were still down on the field whooping it up).

At one point, I went to the area behind the bleachers to see if anyone I knew was milling about back there. There were plenty of current students in clusters talking or playing and some younger kids were playing a pathetic game of football (more like catch with a football instead of a baseball). All of a sudden, I felt something hit me, kind of hard, in the stomach – and a football fell to the ground next to me. Suddenly, there was no interest in said ball – everyone around had turned their backs in my direction and were simply standing around talking (it was an accident, so I was hardly going to get overly mad – you’d think some kid would just come up, mutter “sorry” and grab his ball to go return to playing, but whatever.) I got a little concerned about the baby, but figured that while it did hurt, it wasn’t all that likely to have hurt her. My SIL (who teaches at the school) offered to go after whoever had done it when she returned from the bathroom, but since I didn’t know, we dropped it.

Mr. Moose and his former teammates had been invited to stay and watch the game from the sidelines, and, armed with a camera, took pictures until halftime. By that point, my feet were killing me, I was incredibly bored and I really just wanted to go home. We got in the briefest of spats on our way back to the car and in telling him about my attack-football incident, I suddenly and uncontrollably began to cry. My dinner that evening had been pitiful and I really wanted him to stop for a milkshake, but I couldn’t even seem to get that out. (He ultimately ended up feeding me and it was good, even if it wasn’t a milkshake.)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Cold and Tummy - random combo, I know

I’m so glad I didn’t sign up for NaBloPoMo – though that may have made me get off my rear and do more posting!

I’m really feeling like I’ve been getting bigger this past week – I’ve asked Mr. Moose, but he’s not stupid and won’t answer that question (even when pregnant, it’s never a good idea to answer “do I look fatter than usual?”) I think I gained a few pounds, but I missed my regular weekly weigh-in at the grocery store (he went by himself at the end of a very long Monday) and so I’m not really sure.

I had a fright last night where my swelling feet started to go numb – but I think I may have just simply been lying too flat. My feet have begun to swell regularly at the end of the day – not freakishly as of yet, but enough that they are a bit puffy, and I’ve tried to elevate them more at night. Sitting up straighter seemed to help and Mr. Moose gave me a foot massage (isn’t he the greatest?)

I had an amazing bath last night after dinner – I tossed a tiny bit of bubbles in (I vaguely remember reading something about not taking bubble baths when pregnant, but I’m not sure it made sense, so I just kept it to a bare minimum) and made it just warm enough that I wasn’t sweating or anything, but it was really comfy. We got a cold front for this time of year and our high today was 70 degrees. I wore my leather jacket to the office since this city is essentially on the water and we were forecasted to get a decent amount of wind today – I couldn’t even think of buttoning it, but thankfully it wasn’t quite that cold! I’ll be stealing Mr. Moose’s jacket and/or living in the fleece sweatshirts from Old Navy as the weather gets cooler. No sense in buying a jacket that I may not be able to wear again because it’s so big!

I’ve struggled with my larger-than-usual tummy of late. I’ve never been one to be overly conscious of my weight – sure I bemoan the fact that I can’t fit into the cute little dresses I loved when I was skinny, but it’s never been a big obsession. As a matter of fact I vaguely remember thinking in passing “I wish I could just say I was pregnant – at least then any weight I had on me would be called baby and not that I’m a cow.” But lately, I’m noticing the size of my belly even more – and I’m not even to the rapidly growing stage yet. I have no problem gaining weight or stature for the health of my baby – I haven’t been dieting or anything – I’ve been eating reasonable meals, I’ve cut out the alcohol, and I’ve been craving vegetables and fruit, so the pounds haven’t really piled on, even though my tummy has definitely expanded. I guess I just wonder if I’m totally going to hate my body at the end of pregnancy and if I’ll ever have a decently-sized stomach again. I’ve never been one to do much exercise, I’ve never been one to be good about dieting – will it shrink down on it’s own to a reasonable post-baby size? Will I ever be less than fat again? I admit that I was less than (or more than?) skinny when I conceived – but I actually figured I may have lost some fat in the early days of pregnancy when I didn’t want to eat much, and what I wanted was healthy and low-fat. I figured that might have been the contributing factor to the expansion of my waistline and lack of gain on the scale. Am I doomed to be one of those “always a little heavy” mothers that no one really finds all that attractive?

Do you feel self-conscious in your post-baby body?

Friday, November 2, 2007

Sibling Spacing

Ask Moxie today had a topic about the ideal spacing of siblings and it got me thinking. I guess I had always assumed that most people purposely had siblings every 2-3 years (certainly the case in Mr. Moose’s family – 4 kids all approximately 2 years apart with the last one slightly more, but only so much that she falls to the next school grade by a couple of months). I started to think about my own thoughts and compare them to the sibling sets I know and how they worked out.

My BFF’s husband and his brother are about 10 years apart and have really never gotten along. My BFF is paranoid about large gaps in sibling age because of that (her sons are about 3 years apart and she is content with that), and yet another friend is the youngest of 4 siblings – the first 2 being 17 and 19 years older than she and the 3rd being 3 years older (#3 was an “oops” and then their parents decided “well, we’re doing it again anyway, why not 2?”) and my friend and her brother (who was 17 when she was born) are close and loving, she has a usual love/hate relationship with the one who is only 3 years older and she and the oldest sister kind of ignore each other’s existence. (I didn’t know the oldest existed for years, to tell you the truth since by the time I came along, she was married with a couple of kids and lived out of state.

I think I always assumed that we’d have another in 2-3 years, but a lot of that depends on our financial situation. I never even remotely considered having one sooner than 2 years (or pretty close, anyhow) though the more we talk about prevention/post-baby BC the more nervous I get with the possibility of having an “oops”.

Several of Moxie’s commenters mentioned things other than numbers for when they wanted to wait until – when the first was done nursing, or out of diapers, in school, potty trained. I see a lot of benefit to many of them. And in some ways, we’re going to have to play it by ear, I’m sure.

My sisters kids are spaced 2 years, 3 years and 22 months apart, but almost none of them was exactly planned that way (the 2 girls were happy surprises) and number 2 was a “let’s wait and see” pregnancy.

Ultimately, I don’t know what will happen for us – and it will largely depend on how well we do with our finances and when/if I’m able to stay home and how much I’m able to work at a part-time job, etc. This is likely something that will also depend on the personality of our baby in the first place (ie, a high-needs baby will put off the sibling a little longer, an easy baby might make it more likely to have number 2 sooner. And of course, this assumes we get a choice. A surprise pregnancy or a much-delayed one are just as likely as having a choice in the matter.