Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Well you're never gonna get it

Who needs sleep?

I do, I do! The Little Man has another EI and isn't sleeping well. And my darling husband who is usually fairly helpful in these matters hasn't been sleeping well/is dealing with insomnia again and so by the time he DOES get to bed, he needs to stay there. The Little Man has ended the night in our bed for the last 3 days. Something that isn't ideal. He's a calmer sleeper than his sister, thank goodness, but still not exactly fitting inbetween us these days.

This combined with the PMS I'm dealing with makes for a grumpy mom. I had strains of "Angry All the Time" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill playing in my head this afternoon. I'm not out-of-control angry like I was before happy pills, but I'm frustrated and short and impatient a lot more.

The baby's illness has also upped his stinky output. Enough said.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Book emergency

On Friday, I got a notification that a digital book I'd been on the wait list for was available. I texted my friend, April because as of yet, I hadn't been able to figure out how to actually get the borrowed books onto my Nook and readable. She was a dear and walked me through the procedure (which really wasn't that difficult, but I seemed to have mental block, I guess.) I loaded my book and I was off and reading! A few minutes later, I got another notification of another available book. And another, and another. I have FOUR books from the library loaded on my Nook right now. And I have 7 days to read them! (Thankfully, they are all light reading and I should be able to speed through them with no problem). As a matter of fact, it's Monday morning and I've finished one and I'm more than 75% through the second one. I think I can, I think I can!

And this way, I can keep my vow to not buy any more Nook books until I get paid on the 10th!

Fuss's 4th birthday party was Saturday and it was a success! Pictures to come!

Friday, February 17, 2012

40 bags in 40 days

I got this idea for this from Pinterest links that all ultimately led back to this blog Clover Lane so I'm doing something similar. I won't do it in the same order as her for various reasons, but here we go - Day 1! I am going to make a list of my goals and cross them off as time goes by.

  1. Living room
  2. Living room
  3. Living room
  4. Fuss's room
  5. Fuss's room
  6. Kitchen
  7. Pantry
  8. Master bed room
  9. Master bed room
  10. Little Man's room
  11. Linen closet
  12. Bathroom (back of door)
  13. Medicine cabinets
  14. Reading nook
  15. Desk
  16. Desk
  17. Movie shelves
  18. Book shelves
  19. Laundry room
  20. Thirty-one stuff (this will actually be mostly reorganization)
  21. Cleaning cabinet
  22. Big kitchen cabinet
  23. Baking cabinet
  24. Fuss's closet
  25. Little man's closet
  26. Master closet
  27. Daddy Fuss's drawers
  28. My drawers
  29. Make up box/drawer
  30. TBD
  31. TBD

To Do

My day has yet again been interupted by a series of unplanned events. My stomach, Little Man's naps, the rain, some random and completely intense back pain - all of these have prevented me from leaving the house to do the most important things on my to-do list.

In addition and without order, my to-do list looks like this:

  • Plan the decorations of Fuss's birthday cake for next week
  • Plan the menu for Fuss's birthday party next week
  • Buy supplies accordingly
  • Buy new ink for my printer before I have to print out fliers for my party on Sunday
  • Grocery shop. Including at least some of the supplies for the b-day party
  • Print fliers and review tips for selling in the new catalog
  • Laundry
  • Clean up the living room
  • Bible study homework
  • Clean off the dining room table
  • Assemble the goodie bags for birthday party
  • Plan what the family will wear to the birthday party
  • Put away Christmas ornaments (yes, I know it's the middle of February)
  • Visit Cherry and her new baby
  • Paint pottery with my in-laws for my birthday present (yes, last August - they bought a gift certificate and this is the first opportunity we've all had to do it) on Saturday afternoon
  • Attend family dinner (w/ in-laws) for my husband's birthday Saturday night
  • Locate random gifts I have bought for Fuss to give her at her birthday party
  • Wrap gifts
  • Purge, purge, purge (still high on my list of priorities is de-cluttering my house)
  • Organize and down-size the toys in Fuss's room with an eye towards her receiving gifts at her birthday
  • Get a pedicure?
  • Attend family dinner for Fuss's b-day since the in-laws will be out of town for her party on Wednesday evening
  • Finish planning party decorations. Possibly make more tissue-paper flowers
  • Attend Bible study on Thursday morning
 All of this has to be completed within the next 8 days. I have a lot of work to do!

Thursday, February 16, 2012


As I was rushing like crazy to get out the door to Bible study this morning, I started thinking about the issues I'm having this week. I decided to ask for some prayer to help me deal with this stuff and was formulating in my mind what I would during my prayer request. I nearly started to cry thinking about this week - how nothing seems to be going right, how stressed I am, how every time I talk to my daughter, she argues with me about the stupidest things, how tired I am from a late night not being able to settle myself/get comfortable and then the baby waking up and refusing to be put down (I ended up making him cry it out and turning down the monitor because it was completely ridiculous) and how for the 2nd week in a row, I hadn't gotten my study homework done. I'm burned out. I'm exhausted. And I'm feeling very helpless.

My husband is awesome. He supports me and encourages me and sometimes even carries me through. He is really trying to be so completely amazing - especially since the marriage conference last week (and let me tell you, I thought he was pretty good at listening and letting me vent before that weekend - he is even better now!) But I cannot be completely dependent on him for every little thing - that isn't fair to him and I should be capable of handling life, etc.

But some days, I'm not. Some days I'd much rather whole up and hide.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


My week has been a mess - the power went off in my neighborhood around 9am on Monday - I hadn't taken a shower or anything... I went outside to speak to the power company workers that were on the street - they informed me that the power would be off ALL DAY. (A letter we had received stated that there would be "minor interruptions" to our service that day. Minor? Seriously?) I packed up my kids and we went over to my mom's where I finished the load of laundry I had washed that morning (which had my son's precious blanket in - he won't go to sleep without it) and took a shower and camped out. It was really cold (for here) that day and even with the heat on, it was 65 in her house. My house was like an ice box.

The rest of my week hasn't exactly gone as planned, either. I haven't gotten any of the chores I'd planned done - I'm only now able to get to the laundry (power was off all morning again) and other than drop off the dry cleaning (man, I'm missing the convenience of my dad picking it up a couple of times a week!) I feel like nothing is getting accomplished. I need to get focused again, but I can't seem to gather myself to get organized! Even when driving around today, I couldn't seem to focus on where I was going... I feel completely scatter-brained.

I even forgot to send out one of the invitations to Fuss's birthday party. It was the only one I had to mail, but I still feel bad, since it turns out they made another commitment and now can't come. I make lists and then I can't seem to follow them.

We've been talking about when to try for another baby - but some days, most days - I feel like I can't handle the ones I've got - why on earth would I want to add another to the mix?

Monday, February 6, 2012

Mommy Fail

So this weekend, the Little Man started acting fussy, sprouted a temp, etc. We got very little sleep, he wasn't eating and drinking and kept us up all night nearly every night. I had the chance to take him to the Dr on Friday (he had the fever, but the all-nights didn't start until Friday night) and I chose not to, thinking it was a bug and at most, it would be a waste of time/money to take him in for them to say it was a bug and there was nothing they could do.

Fast forward to this morning (nobody got much sleep anyhow) when his ear started oozing. By the time we got to the pediatrician,  it looked like he had a huge snot-bomb dripping out of his ear and all over his face. Diagnosis: Ear infection w/ perforated ear drum. Good times. I now feel really guilty about making him cry it out last night in his crib when I gave up helping him to fall asleep at 3am.

This afternoon, we got home and I put him down for a nap, did my chores (laundry) and settled Fuss in front of the TV for Quiet Time and went in my room to take a rest. Fast Forward about 45 minutes, I wake to Fuss wailing like a banshee (my dad had caught her being mean to the dog and had told her no and she was being a drama queen) and I get up. She asks for a snack and I go to the pantry to find her something. As I'm standing there, I notice a small, uncapped bottle on the counter. An empty bottle of Concentrated infant drops of acetaminaphen. She drank it.

I called poison control and got the info that she would likely be okay, etc. and not to give her any more for awhile. I know that getting so little sleep over the last few days necessitated getting a rest of some sort, but I feel like a horrible mom right now. She knows better, but I should have made sure that the bottle was put away.

Friday, February 3, 2012


I haven't blogged in... I don't know - 2 weeks? Part of me realizes that not sitting at my computer all day, every day, not spending every waking minute reading blogs, writing my blog, on Facebook and/or Pinterest, etc. may help my mood improve. Another part of me realizes that not having my usual outlet of venting and getting everything down and out and sharing with my online friends can hinder my mood. It's a vicious cycle, trying to find the right balance of my own personal sanity.

The Little Man and I are sick. I don't know if we have the same thing, since we are both presenting with different symptoms (his is a steady fever and extreme crankiness, mine is a persistent headache and tiredness with some intermittent crankiness) but regardless, having a sick, cranky child and a healthy, hyper child (Fuss) isn't helping my personal attitude about being sick. Or being a mom.

I had one of those days recently - one where I wondered if they would be better off with someone else raising them, if I weren't their mother. I didn't dwell on it, like I have in the past, and  the thoughts were somewhat fleeting, but I was keenly aware of the thoughts and wondering if I was PMSing or if my meds needed to be upped or something.

I'm really ready for the week to end.