Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?

So, all week I’ve been wondering if I’m pregnant, though technically it should be too early to show symptoms or be able to tell anything. I’m totally baffled by the information I’m finding regarding late ovulation. I ovulated on day 17, but recently I’ve been having very short cycles (26 days last month, 27 before that), so it doesn’t really allow for that full 10 DPO, now does it? If you don’t implant until 7-10 DPO, how is my baby supposed to implant if I start spotting on day 7 or 8?

I’ve had very tender breasts for about a week and my temps are significantly higher than they were last month, so I’ve been hoping. But last night after sex, I had a bit of pinkishness, so who knows? I feel like I have to tell myself that I could be pregnant in order to stick with the healthy habits (like no alcohol, eating veggies, exercise) but I also don’t want to get my hopes up too high. Last month I started spotting on day 25, which this month is tomorrow. Guess I might not have to worry about when I’m going to test at work (so Mr Moose won’t know right away).

I know we haven’t been “officially” trying for that long, but it’s still frustrating.

Gilmore Girls last night (“Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?” episode 7.16) made me tear up at the end of Lane’s shower (I told my mom that if I was on bed rest for my own shower, she was totally pushing my bed across the town square to get to it) when Lane asked Rory to be her “Lorelai Gilmore” as her mom had been for her.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Homemaker Meme (even though I'm only a part-time homemaker)

I picked this up from Arwen's blog.

Aprons (Y/N): Occasionally. I bought one for Mr Moose that says “Kiss the Cook” for our first Christmas together and we have a green one, but I don’t always remember to use them. When I’m making something splattery I try and use it, or if I’m dressed up.
Baking (Favorite thing to bake): Cookies. I love baking cookies. One year for Christmas I baked about 12 different kinds. Mr Moose loves my Cowboy Cookies best. I’m also famous for my Christmas Snickerdoodles.
Clothesline (Y/N): There are 2 that came with the house. The big one in the yard just gets in my way when I’m running after the dogs. The little one by the laundry room gets used occasionally for delicates, but that can get embarrassing when my dad comes over.
Donuts: As Arwen said, “whoever invented Krispy Kreme has my eternal devotion.” My mom used to make these killer cinnamon sugar donuts when I was little and I was determined to make them awhile back, but it never happened.
Every Day (One homemaking thing you do every day): Closest to every day probably has something to do with dishes, but I can’t say I do it EVERY day.
Freezer (Do you have a separate deep freeze?): Nope.
Garbage Disposal (Y/N): No. I wish we did sometimes, but our home inspector said it would screw with our plumbing if we installed one, so we’re without for good.
Handbook (What is your favorite homemaking resource?): My grandma. If I ever have a recipe emergency, I call her. She knows it all.
Ironing (Love it or hate it?): My dad owns a dry cleaner, so I get pressing done for free. Occasionally, I have to iron something for Mr Moose that we washed and he wants to wear, but it doesn’t come up that often.
Junk drawer (Y/N) (Where?): Unofficially. I have one in my dresser and my night stand.
Kitchen (Design and decorating): We have a small kitchen that is on the verge of being updated somewhat. We’re working on the how and when with my dad. My mom gave us her old dishwasher for Christmas and offered to help pay for installation, etc. We need new countertops, as the previous owners were very hard on them and the cabinets are ugly and the bottom ones are inefficient. I’d also love to get rid of the yellow tile backsplash.
Love (What is your favorite part of homemaking?): Cooking/entertaining. I love to put together a good meal including appetizers (I’m queen of appetizers) and desserts.
Mop (Y/N): Rarely. And I consider mopping to be done with the Swiffer Wet I bought when we moved in to our terrazzo/linoleum house.
Nylons: I rarely where them in general and never while doing housework.
Oven (Do you use the window or open the door to check?): Like Arwen, I use the window mostly now that I have one. Our apartment didn’t, which annoyed me having grown up with one.
Pizza (What do you put on yours?): I prefer pepperoni and mushrooms. I can’t stand onions or pineapple, but anything else I’m reasonably willing to pick off.
Quiet (What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?): Depending on the day, etc. I either read, nap or watch TV.
Recipe card box (Y/N): I own one, but it’s not overly organized. Mostly, we have books and I have a notebook with plastic sleeves that I tuck print outs, newspaper clippings, etc. which is my lifeline for receipes from others.
Style of house: No idea what “style” it is – probably a ranch. One story, vaulted ceilings. I love it, but I’m already worried about the space issues when we have kids (it’s a 2/1).
Tablecloths and napkins? I love them, but rarely get them out except for entertaining. I should use them more, since I have several sets of placemats and napkins that are casual. I have a couple of tablecloths, but only my Christmas one fits my current table.
Under the kitchen sink (Organized or toxic wasteland?): It’s pretty reasonable, really.
Vacuum (How many times per week?): Um, once per month, maybe? And that’s only to do bug treatments so the dogs don’t get eaten alive. But we don't have carpet, just rugs.
Wash (How many loads of laundry do you do in a week?): 2-3. I’m getting better about it. When we were at the apartment, we’d do everything all at once, together every other week or so at the laundry mat. Now I do approximately 2 loads on weekends and the occasional load during the week.
X's (Do you keep a daily list of things to do and cross them off?): Um, no.
Yard (Who does what?): It’s pretty much been just Mr Moose so far. We’re starting to plan our landscaping, so I want to do more. We just bought some plants over the weekend, so some day soon I’ll actually have to spend some time in the yard/garden.
Zzz's: I typically allow myself 8 hours, but lately, I haven’t done too well staying asleep when I’m supposed to, etc.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

4 DPO?

According to my fertility Friend calculator, I ovulated 4 days ago. Later in my cycle (day 17) than I thought I was. I had only been taking temps up until the first rise - around days 12-15 - for awhile and then I'd quit for the month. When I continued last month, i got panicky because it went back down. I'm much higher now this month post day 17 and I seem to be staying there. Whew. At least I know I'm ovulating. Of course, that gives me about 9 days luteal phase if last month was my standard (26 days instead of 28 as I was pre-birth control). When do I test? At day 26? Or do I wait? I already have overly tender nipples, which is pretty abnormal for me. And my temp was very high (for me) this morning (but I slept in about an hour late, too - so who knows?) I'm allowing myself to dream a bit, but trying not to get too hopeful. But I'm being good and skipping the alcohol completely (we went to dinner last night and waitress kept trying to seel me on a martini - I didn't want to say I was pregnant, since I don't know, but kind wanted to to make her get the idea that I wasn't drinking even though Mr Moose got some wine).

I've got this great idea for how to tell Mr Moose I'm PG, but I want it to be a surprise and I know that when I test, he'll probably be there. I wonder if I could take the test at work instead of at home?

There's also this thing I've thought about - I want my sister around at the birth of my first baby. She can usually only come home (they live in Sweden) during the spring - so I would really prefer to get pregnant this summer, but I also don't want to wait. I'm so crazy. And it will be just as wonderful to have here here this spring if I'm already PG.

Keep your fingers crossed - I'm both skeptically optimistic and nervous.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


I’ve been on vacation and then dealing officially with the new job and training the new person for my old one, so I profusely apologize to anyone who has been reading and has not had any updates. I’ve probably lost any readers I had gained, but hey – a girl can only do so much.

On the fertility front: No clue what is going on. My temperatures have been all over the place and I’m on day 18. Last month, I only had a 26 day cycle, so I can just imagine what my body is doing. Right now, fertility friend tells me that I’m “probably fertile” but hasn’t yet marked that I’ve ovulated. We did our best to go crazy and have lots of sex while on vacation and every other day since then, so I suppose there is a chance, but I’m not holding my breath for this month. I wish I had a better idea of what was going on – whether I’m malfunctioning for no reason at all or whether I have a cyst as I initially thought last month. At what point do you go in and get that checked out if you think this is the case? Am I supposed to wait my 12 months of trying and not conceiving if I think there is a cyst problem at the beginning? Am I just a hypochondriac?

My SIL is not pregnant. When I heard that, I was both saddened for her and relieved for myself. I really didn’t want to be the second one pregnant, especially if there is a chance it will be soon. I don’t want to deal with the “you copied me” issue. Since she was some 40+ days into her cycle, they were giving her a hormone to induce her period. I took a chance and sent her an email to give her warning about what I’ve heard on that topic – that the periods are rough, worse than usual, etc. In a following email I also made some research suggestions to her. I told her about fertility friend (though according to what she has told Mr Moose, she doesn’t want to temp because it will just stress her out – to me, not having any clue what my cycle is doing would stress me more, but to each her own) and I didn’t want to mention any of my infertility blogs yet – don’t want her to freak out that I’m assuming she’s infertile, etc.

Had some awkward news at work today that I can’t seem to put into words. I’m scared that I may lose my job soon. This of course, severely stresses me – and pisses me off all at the same time. Anybody ever want to sabotage their job on their way out the door? Not typically my style, but at this point, I’d really like to see what they’d do with out me. I have so much knowledge of this company in my head that it would be difficult for them if I left without notice.

Anyhow, I should get back to work. Things are stressful, but for now I’m still gainfully employed and should make the most of it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Heart Day!

It’s Valentine’s Day and my dear husband’s birthday – of course, he is temporarily stranded in a snow storm in Indiana, so who knows if I’ll have a Happy V-day or not?

Sorry posting has been so unsteady – my promotion is finally going through and I’ve been spending lots of time prepping for my vacation and move to new office.

It’s been a rough couple of days without Mr Moose. He’s left on business before and I don’t remember my depression being this bad. I was in a funk all weekend with his immanent departure on Sunday. He did the best he could to cheer me up/spend time with me, etc.

My mom got a new puppy. My childhood dog, Tiki passed away in October and she has been wanting a new dog. Angus MacTavish MacFarlane McGee (either Angus or Mac for short) joined the family last Saturday. He’s a Scottish Terrier, if you couldn’t tell by the name. He’s nothing but fluff and belly right now at 8.5 weeks old, but very cute and rambunctious. Mom had forgotten how much energy new puppies have, I think. He plays hard and then just flops out exhausted. Cute little guy.

We are going on vacation beginning tomorrow (if he can get a flight out) to officially kick off our baby-making days. According to the calculator, the dates of our vacation are my fertile time, so we’re keeping fingers crossed and liquor to a minimum.

Monday, February 12, 2007


I was never taught to curse. My parents rarely ever used profanity and I went to a private Christian school all my life where on the off-chance someone was caught using foul language, they were given a detention. (Someone once got a detention for using the expletive “Cuss dang it” with the philosophy that “it’s the thought that counts.”) I know what each word actually means so every time I hear people curse I think of the literal translation of what they are saying. It’s incredibly amusing. One of my co-workers likes to use the term “brains of an f-ing turnip.” Personally, I didn’t know that turnips could do that sort of thing, but whatever. I remember taking a summer school class in high school and one girl exclaiming that her new boyfriend’s car was “the sh**”. That baffled me. How is that a good thing? The one word I would love to use is “as.s.” I love the term as.s-backwards. I have no idea why, but I do.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Pain and Frigid Indiana

So last night I was freaking out that I had an ectopic pregnancy. Out of nowhere, my shoulder started hurting and I’m talking some serious pain. I didn’t want to alarm Mr Moose, so I didn’t say anything, but then I was fairly confident that it was just muscle pain and he rubbed my back while I whimpered. Just to be sure, I googled this morning and it sounds like I’m okay. Muscle pain isn’t the same as the referred pain they refer to in the symptoms. However, my muscle aches have spread and now I can barely walk. No clue where that is coming from unless it was my 8 flights down evacuation yesterday for a false alarm fire alarm in our building yesterday. Am I in that bad of shape that I can’t walk DOWN 8 flights of stairs without being sore the next day? I seriously need exercise.

Mr Moose has to go out of town to the frozen land of Indiana for a few days. I’m bummed. I hate when he has to go away and since he is The Man Who Never Gets Cold, he of course has no jacket even remotely capable of dealing with Indiana weather in February. He comes back mid afternoon on Valentine’s Day, so at least we get to keep that and go on our vacation the next day.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

CD 2

Didn’t even get to the BFN – with my chaotic mid-cycle temps I had assumed I hadn’t ovulated and gave up thinking I might be pregnant. Until I started spotting early, that is, and then I wondered if it was implantation bleeding and not the pre-period stuff. I had wanted to test on Sunday morning, but discussed it with Mr Moose and agreed to wait until Tuesday or Wednesday to test. Monday, the pain and flow began and I had no need to waste $ and POAS. I’m going to be more dedicated to my temping this month – even on vacation. I temped over the weekend (and my temp was way up on Saturday leading me to believe that possibly I did ovulate and my chaotic temping due to the odd placement of my alarm clock just screwed everything up) and watched last cycle end and this cycle begin.

The raging hormones in my body may be the reason that the stress at work lately is making me feel like I’m being crushed under the weight. I used to get this dream during my most stressed out times when I worked for my dad that I was being slowly crushed my a large, smooth boulder-like rock. Today, while being talked to by Boss #1, I got that feeling again. He is the type of person that every assignment he gives you is the most important one. Not that it’s more important than the last assignment, but that THIS is the MOST important because it’s what he’s thinking about now. I’m still doing both my old job and my new job and I’m going nuts. Nine more days until vacation and I’m ready to call in sick.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Oy with the poodles already!

Mr Moose and I got into a discussion over dinner last night about gift giving and it came up that the gift he gave me for Christmas our first married year was not exactly inspiring. He got very self-conscious about it because I had not told him at the time that I was disappointed. In fairness, that whole Christmas was a disappointment but mostly because he got some sort of violent stomach bug Christmas Eve and spent the next 12 hours projectile vomiting. Not my happiest Christmas memory. So the gift – it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the most awful thing he could have given me, either, by far.
So now I’m feeling guilty – he implied that he was going to have to make this Valentine’s Day spectacular since our first Christmas (not the most recent one, but the first one) was such a dud. Argh. I hate the pressure. Because since his birthday is also Valentine’s day, I always feel like I’m disappointing him on one or both fronts by not getting him 2 perfect gifts. He is usually an excellent gift giver.

My SIL may be pregnant. I am happy for her, because I know she has been trying, but I am also concerned about the sibling rivalry that may rear it's head if we turn up pregnant shortly thereafter. The childish "you copied me!" debate. Not having grown up with siblings, I have never dealt with such issues, but I see it all the time in those around me.

I had some spotting just now. Early again? I can't handle it! I feel like crap which is partly due to stress and partly due to PMS-ing, I guess. It has been a very busy week at work and I haven't felt like doing ANYTHING at home. I did laundry on Monday - that was the end of my household chores for the week. My kitchen is a disaster. The bus work week has also been bad for my blogging, so to those who are reading (my counter assures me that you truly are out there) I appologize for my lax postings this week. I hope to get back to them soon with more frequency.

Boss #1 told me today that we may only be a week away from filling my current position, so that I can officially move to my new position and my new office. I am thrilled. Beyond measure. Part of the reason I have been so utterly busy of late is that I have been doing both my old job and my new job and it is a large workload. The nature of my old job is that I could be here 8:30 to 5:30 and that was it, but I have needed to come in early/stay late to accomplish my tasks in addition to having a temp do some of the work for 3 days this week. I am exhausted.

The title of my post is another "Gilmoreism" and has more to do with a lack of a good title than anything else. However, to the week that is about to end, I say "oy, with the poodles already!" I really need this week to be over.