So the sweater I want that will match the kids' Christmas clothes is 50% off today and tomorrow at Kohls. I mentioned this to my mom in passing and she offered to go by and pick it up for me so I didn't have to drag the kids out, etc., etc.
I thanked her. Yes, for a 10-20 minute trip, it would be a pain to get them out of the car, drag them into the store, etc. Then I mentioned that I needed to go to Target anyway. And she freaked out. She didn't want me taking the kids out by myself. Nevermind that I've done it a couple dozen times without incident. Apparently, I'm never allowed out of the house w/ the kids by myself again. I told her if I didn't get out occasionally, I'd shoot myself. She continued her rant. I told her then I was going to find a job and put the kids in daycare because my mental health couldn't stand being stuck in the house all the time.
This pisses me off because A) Yes, we had an incident which could have ended disastrously (though I'd like to point out that I wasn't, in fact, by myself at that point and so obviously being alone w/ both kids wasn't the issue), but that doesn't make me incapable as a parent. And B) it's not like she's offering to spend every weekday off hanging out with me/us so I can get errands done or get out of the house or whatever. Does she really expect me to stay home all day every day 5 days a week?
Yes, the incident last week was scary. I get that. Trust me, I get it. But does that mean I'm a bad parent and I am not allowed out with my own children?
Bah. If I stopped going out because Spencer ran from me in a busy parking lot (twice), I'd never get anything done. You have to do what's right for your family, and all else fails, every time you get out of the car you can remind Fuss of the JCP incident and how important it is to stay with you. Every time I'm in a parking lot (so at least once a day I have the lecture) "see all the cars? Stay right here so you don't get hit. hold my hand so you don't get hit" etc. It's actually worked out well. No incidents in weeks. Things happen. Thankfully it wasn't a disaster and you got through it.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, you mom probably is freaking out because she also feels guilty and scared about what happened, not that she thinks you're a bad mom.
People go out with two kids all the time. And if you have the baby carrier and the monkey backpack, what could possibly happen? Especially if Fuss will ride in the cart at Target. Then you don't even need the monkey backpack!
ReplyDeleteUGH! you are not a bad parent! this has happened to SO many people, probably most parents at some time or another, and you probably had your guard down a bit expecting HER to help keep an eye on Fuss, which she did not. so, there is no blame here. this was no one's fault. go to kohls and enjoy it!! maybe put Fuss on one of those leash backpacks. as much as they make me cringe when I see them, I completely understadn why people want to use them--NEED to use them! seriously. don't sweat it. it's over. it turned out fine. don't let it ruin your life!
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter how careful you are or how many people are watching; things will happen. You can't be a shut-in just because you have kids. If anything, the kids HAVE to get out of the house sometimes so they can learn more about the world. Anyway, I'm assuming that you've learned something after whatever happened last week. (I don't know what happened, but I know when something scary happens, I usually take a lesson away from it.) And anyway, why is it up to her to decide?
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