My baby seems to think that every waking moment needs to involve him in my arms. He is constantly fussing at me if I'm not holding him. Mix this in with the random-acts-of-fussiness that he's been giving me for the last few days (he goes from 0-screaming in 1.5 seconds, in my arms or not and then is inconsolable until I do something "drastic" like feed him off-schedule or stick him in the car and drive around for awhile until he passes out)
I told my husband that I was a bad mother last night because at one point, I screamed at my baby. He told me that as long as I didn't HIT (or shake) my baby, that it was okay and I could let myself off the hook. I needed to hear it, but I still feel awful for yelling at him. He doesn't know. It's not like he can control how he feels or communicate to me what the problem is...
I had 2 awful headaches yesterday, one vying for the list of Top 5 Worst Headaches of my life. And of course, the baby wouldn't sleep and let me just try and sleep it away. I had to take medicine that is questionable while nursing (though I took it immediately after a feeding and was able to delay the next one to limit the amount he might have gotten. And the biggest complaint about taking this medicine is that there is a lot of caffeine in it, and since I have a little bit of caffeine each day anyway, he seems to be used to it.) But I was at the point where I was seriously considering how I could possibly get to Urgent Care to deal with the headache. And that's not a place I like to be. I need to work on staying more on top of the pain before it gets to that point, but I just hate taking daily medication if I can help it.
I'm sure that the headaches and related stress are what contributed to the screaming at the baby. I'm also extremely frustrated with the whole Potty Training thing we've got going on right now. I am so sick of having her ignore my suggestions that she go sit on the potty and 15 minutes later have an accident. I think she has worn every piece of underwear she has in the last 4 days. Despite making her clean up after herself when she has an accident, and of course not giving her rewards when she DOESN'T use the potty properly, it doesn't seem to be moving forward. I am just so SICK of pee.