I've done very well this time around, not hating on the nursing, not resenting my baby for needing to be ON me, suck on me to get his nutrition. But... I'm starting to feel less happy about it.
I want my body back. I want to be able to wear a real bra that makes me look like I am a real woman with normal curves up top. I know a bunch of my friends wear regular bras sometimes when BFing, but I can't. My chest gets so big and really - what is the point of wearing a regular bra when you have to unsnap it every 3 hours? What's the point of wearing something you have to take off all the time? But I need something that is going to give me a little more support now that 2 pregnancies and 16+ months of BFing (over the course of both children so far) have taken their toll on my chest.
I hate waking up to full or partially full breast(s) in the middle of the night when I am HOURS away from feeding him. It's uncomfortable and awkward. And then the weird positions I have to put myself in don't allow me to get the best sleep... which is already pretty light to begin with.
I hate being in pain during the day when the baby takes a particularly good nap or gets too distracted to eat during a feeding and doesn't eat enough to empty me.
I love being close to him, I love being able to provide immune system boosting sustenance, but I really miss being able to just be ME instead of the Little Man's walking food source.
I'm tired all the time, I'm hungry all the time.
For me, it was that I hated the pump and hated carting it back and forth to work every day. I soooo wanted it to be over, but didn't want to stop breastfeeding. Now that its been over for awhile, I'm very glad I stuck it out as long as I could.
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