Surviving and Looking Back

Food isn't as fun as it was before this pregnancy. Naps and sleep aren't as restful (which is, in part, contributed to by the large amounts of snoring coming from my allergic-to-weather husband, which I can only do so much about), and don't even get me started on my bowel movements... (I know, you're saying thank you for that one, aren't you?) and I'm wondering how I survived my first trimester of my first pregnancy (and vaguely remembering the massive amounts of fights my husband and I had when I couldn't stay awake long enough to do ANYTHING useful).

*********************

My friends who got pregnant around the time I was pregnant before are getting there Big Ultrasounds these days, finding out their genders, etc. I was writing out some of the highlighted weeks in my calendar today and I realized that for my old due date, I will be 28 weeks pregnant with Small Fry, past the point of knowing the gender and moving on to actually getting closer to having a baby, even though it will be 3 months later than I planned.

It's never completely over, when you lose a baby - even when you lose one early on. I have to declare this as my 3rd pregnancy for all my paperwork at the OB/GYN. In some ways, I'm glad that I need to remember, and in some ways, I wish I could forget. I wish I could forget because it covers every moment of THIS pregnancy. Every time my symptoms are different from when I was pregnant with Fuss, I start to wonder and worry. I can't just sit back and relax completely, because there is always that worry that something bad could happen.