I was going to write about this whole "what am I going to do with my life?" debate I've been dealing with (and I will), but I just read Alexa's post about Ollie and I have to say something about it, and the sorrow parents are dealing with all over.
I am saddened regularly to hear these stories - so many families dealing with tragedy. I love the internet communities I have become apart of and adopted as my friends. I love that I can have friends across the country, and all over the south, and midwest, etc. and that I can share their lives and they, mine. If it were not for the internet, I would never have met these people.
I want to be supportive of these parents. I want to help remember Ollie and Maddie. I want to help remember Liz. Because it's important to their families to have people remember their loved ones. I avidly read Heather's blog and Matt's (the husband of Liz) because I want to support them in their grief and be part of the community who reminds them that their loved ones meant something to the world and will not be forgotten.
But sometimes it gets overwhelming. It gets really sad. Sometimes I want to take a break, but at the same time, when do they get to take a break?
On a less serious note:
Have you heard the radio commercials for the wireless router that is being offered by, I think, Verizon? It talk about a small business specialist, etc. and the example they use is this catering business run by a mom, daughter and grandmother who all need to be able to access information and the internet while they're out, etc. My husband thinks the technology is cool, but the commercial makes me think more about the business itself. How fun would it be to run a catering company with my mom and grandma?
Not that I'm a great cook. I can hold my own, but I'm not spectacular. My grandma is, but she's starting to really step back from the cooking. And not that spending that much time with them wouldn't drive me up the wall. Because it would. I love them dearly but we are all both too much alike and too different, if you know what I mean.
But I would love to have a small business where I regularly worked with a couple of women I was close to. This is a new thought for me, because I have NEVER wanted my own business. I grew up in a family who owned a small business and I HATED it. In college when everyone of my classmates was talking about starting their own business and being their own boss, I was running the other direction and looking for a corporate job with an agency or department within a corporation.
But I desperately want some sort of social-professional regular contact. I miss the time with my female coworkers. I miss the office gossip and the small talk while waiting for the coffee to brew in the office kitchen.
I don't know what this means, exactly. I still want to be able to be home with The Fuss. As much as she sometimes drives me crazy, I think I'd go nuts without her for more than a day or two. (This is not a judgment on anyone who puts their kids in daycare - everyone does what they have to do for their family and whether that means financially or mentally needing to be out of the house or whatever, I totally support your choices.) I always thought I would prefer to be home, but would be okay with working, since I was sure we'd need the money of my full-time employment, but God has blessed us with raises for my husband at the exact right times and his ability to be an incredible budgeter.
But I digress.
Maybe this is why the thought of the previously-mentioned business opportunity was so appealing.
But what can I do for a business that would give me the social aspect? What can I do in general? My hobbies include reading and blogging and a love of movies. My cooking skills are just decent, my sewing skills are minimal, my cleaning skills are poor (but I'm getting better!). I have little experience party-planning (but wouldn't that be fun?) and I know how to throw a wedding on a small budget (but wouldn't a wedding planner usually only apply to those with a bigger budget?) but what else is there? I'm at a loss. I used to be creative, but I don't know what happened.
I'll have to keep thinking. I'll have to keep exploring the options. But in the meantime, I can just keep going along with what I've already got, I suppose.