Tired.

I am tired. I am forever tired. Sometimes, I don't notice it until the end of the day when the husband comes home and asks, "are you okay?" and then i realize that I am TIRED. I vaguely remembered that the last time I was pregnant I was severely tired all the time, especially at the end of the day, but I had sort of forgotten how that felt. I think I remember now.

We told my sisters-in-law about the pregnancy this weekend, and there was much rejoicing. Everyone is thrilled and I was very happy to get a positive reaction this time around. Of course, anything would have been better than last time.

My sister knows now, too (she cried tears of happiness), and my grandma (so did she, but the next day confessed that she was had 2 glasses of wine and was a little tipsy and incoherent - which made a little more sense. She's not really a crier most of the time.) There are a few random people who know, but for the most part, we're not telling everyone until after my appointment next week. My dad doesn't even know yet.

My work situation is weird. I feel like there should be this big flurry of activity, this big show of things ending. But it seems to just be going on and on as usual. Feels weird. Feels like the day my mom told me she asked my dad for a divorce. I thought, "my life is forever changed, from now on," and then he came home that night and everything was the same. It seemed like it should have been this big, dramatic deal and it wasn't. I guess because I've never known I was going to leave a job with a lot of notice. Even when I left my dad the first time, it was kind of sudden - I'd given him 2 months' notice that I was GOING to leave, but then when I got the job and they wanted me to start right away, I basically showed up and said "I start Monday. this is my last day." But there are things I need to be doing to get the word out, but I don't really know where to start. I do know that about halfway through every shift, I feel like I'm wasting my time sitting there. Even today, when it was pretty steady, I felt bored by it all. I'm tired of being there, especially when I know there is no future.

I really want to take a nap. And since the Fuss is down for hers, I guess this is my chance.