Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sleeping in my arms

Fuss fell asleep on my lap/in my arms this morning around 10:30. While one of my first thoughts was "what on earth?" followed by "there goes her afternoon nap..." I also really enjoyed it. It's been a really long time since she fell asleep in my arms and having her warm, soft little body curled onto mine was a nice treat.

It made me think. In another 5 months or so, there will be another warm little body falling asleep in my arms, a much smaller little body. And I wonder if my days with Fuss doing that are numbered because of it. I rarely think in terms of what I'm giving up by having another child, but am I giving up that one-on-one closeness that bond that an only child has with her parents by having another baby? Obviously, it's too late to do anything about it now, but it's something to think about.

I have a very close relationship with my mom. But this week - watching my MIL go through the grieving and decision-making process after losing her mother - I think I'm a little jealous that I will have to go through that alone when my mom's time comes (which, hopefully, will be a long, long time from now). And so, back to my point, aren't I doing my child a favor by giving her a sibling? A life-long companion/friend to play with and go through good and bad times with?

Regardless, I'm enjoying these precious minutes with my only-child-for-now and I'm taking stock of these moments a little more closely. Because even though she barely fits on my lap anymore, it feels so nice to have her that close, even if it's one of the last times it happens.

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