Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Thinking about death make me lose sleep

And makes me grumpy. Apparently.

We watched Lost last night. As the storyline winds down (I think there are 3-4 episodes left), I think it's might be getting more depressing.

Last night as Jin and Sun fought to free her from an exploded, sinking submarine and it seemed as all hope was lost, she tells him to go. And he tells her that he'll never leave her again, they kiss and embrace and the sub fills with water and they are gone.
And as a mother - and a hormonal, pregnant one at that - I am appalled by this! Now, trust me, I'm sure that if my husband were dying, I would want to die, too, but my child (or children) would cause me to go on. And they NEVER MENTIONED ZTHEIR DAUGHTER once in their last moments - never seemed to think of her - alone and orphaned back home. (She is safely in the care of her grandmother, but that is very much not the same as living with even one of her parents.)
So my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep were directed to what I would want for my child(ren) if I were to be taken from her/them.
As my bladder and my brain competed for "most annoying thing to keep me awake all night," I began mentally writing my will - the decision on custody has already been made, so it was simply a matter of getting the words out. And then I began (mentally) writing a diary entry/letter of all the things I would want to tell her (him, too, but I think the mother-daughter bond I have with her make me desire to impart my womanly experience/wisdom to her especially.)
It made for a depressing night. And I woke up very grumpy (and clumsy - I knocked over our alarm clock when my husband's alarm went off) with a list of things to do, apparently.

1 comment:

  1. I was upset about this too! But then I was thinking that Jin had never met the daughter and she was such a Plot Point anyway and did she even exist in the Sideways World? Still. ANNOYING. (I bawled anyway!)