A pop in to check in

Hello, Blogland! It is me, the dear lost Mrs. Moose. I am sorry I have been away.

To catch you up, I shall give highlights:

MIL got out of the hospital, but is still (though she was fine for the first several days she was IN the hospital) feeling week and weary and I know she skipped work yesterday.

Yesterday AM, the 2nd of my 3 people whom I assist at work quit unexpectedly. I am now covering for 2 people who are far above my pay grade.

We had a long weekend BD-for-fun fest and then…

I got egg white for the first time ever (to my knowledge) yesterday and made Mr. Moose love me all over again. (note to self, lingerie is made and bought specifically for occasions such as these).

Things Change/Somethings Never Change

A quick post to update you on my exhausting week -

MIL is still in the hospital, though is rumored to be being released tomorrow, if the test results come out as they assume they will. If not, we're back to square one.

Last night was Coach's funeral. If there is one thing I never expected at this point in my life it was to be singing at one of my teacher's funerals. He was a wonderful man and the service was beautiful. So many people got up to talk about who he was. One of my classmates (I believe he still holds the school record if not the state record for most baskets in a high school basketball career) got up to talk about what Coach had meant to him, his boss, his students, his co-workers, one by one, they all came to tell about what a great, compassionate, easy-going man he was. How much he loved his family, how much he loved the Lord. Someone mentioned how he was so good at being nice to those people (students especially) who really had no "worth" to him - they could do nothing for him, but he loved them and was friendly regardless. i was one of them. I was one of his wife's "kids" - she was the music teacher and music was my life in high school - but I was certainly no great athlete and had no bearing on his job or career in any way. But from the time I was 5, he was friendly and nice, always offering that quirky smile of his and a wink hello. I can't imagine how she must feel to have him gone, but I know we're all happy to know he is with God.

Many former students attended and i got a mini-reunion with old friends and classmates. Most are married, many have kids. It was good to see old faces and old friends. It was also interesting to see how time changes (or not) people. Several choir members were there with the same diva attitudes. Some things never change.

The title today, while appropriate for my observations is also a reference to 2 Tim McGraw song titles that i find amusing.

CD 5 and nothing spectacular goin' on.

Oy! With the Poodles Already!

MIL is still in the hospital and will probably remain at least another night. Some tests are coming out good, other not so good and they don’t know what is causing the kidney problems. We were at the hospital very late last night and we’re all very tired. Mr. Moose is working from the hospital today so she doesn’t have to be alone. She’s complaining that they’re just wasting a bed, but docs don’t typically admit you if there isn’t something serious. Even my mom has weighed in (remember she’s a nurse) with recommendations on doctors and the like.

Last night I got more bad news that my high school music teacher (we were very close) lost her husband over the weekend. He was a very good man, coach, father and husband and he will be missed. Several former members of the elite singing group I was part of are getting together to sing for the service on Thursday. I am honored to be part of that group.

When I arrived at work this morning, I was informed that our new bookkeeper had quit, (without notice) which meant that I had to run around changing passwords and checking up on the status of everything. Oh, the crazy!

The cramps have continued, though have finally begun to lessen today. Nothing exciting happening otherwise.

There's Words

CD 1.
But it’s been a very weird weekend. Sunday my temp went down to coverline and I assumed I’d get AF the same day. Nope. Barely any spotting. Today it spiked quite a bit. I was confused most of the morning, but around 10:00 AM I went to check and I had begun. Passed another clot, but everything else seemed normal.

Until 11:00, when it appeared to all but have stopped? I’m so freaking confused.

Had a good weekend, mostly. Got some bad news about a repair to my car (A/C is shot – need new compressor. Very much $$$), so that was bad. But we went to a house concert in one of the Far Harbors and had a blast. Rod Picott and Amanda Shires - they were wonderful as usual. This is the second time we’ve seen them perform and they are great. The house concert atmosphere makes it even more special, since you get to talk with and get to know the artists. We’re looking forward to seeing Rod and Amanda again in the future. (today's post title is one of the song's off Amanda's album)

Oh the cramps! I can’t remember the last time I had cramps this bad. It’s awful. Not even Tylenol is helping.

My MIL has just been admitted to the hospital with renal (kidney) failure. The family is worried, of course. It seems to have hit my husband pretty hard. His father passed away, suddenly when he was 13 and I can only imagine how it would feel to have lost one and risk losing another of your parents (both of mine are still alive and well, thank the Lord.)

Everything is coming up Piznarski

(Warning: the following section contains a story that is probably TMI. If you get queasy, you may want to stop now. I will try to be as delicate as possible)
Yesterday afternoon, I had a freak out. I had some tummy “discomfort” (I’m attempting to spare you the details) and went to the restroom here at work. Ten+ minutes later, after some pretty intense pain, I noticed a whole lot of red as I was cleaning up. Thinking, “It must be hemorrhoids” I continued my clean up. I then wiped up front and found equal amounts of red. In my quest for trying to figure out what was going on (I was CD21, 7DPO – this couldn’t be AF, right?) I checked my cervical mucus. When I removed my hand, it was dark red, thick and chunky. I began a freak out. Could this be a miscarriage?
I returned to my desk, grabbed by phone and retreated to the hallway. I called my medical advisor – my mom, the nurse. I asked her what a miscarriage looks like. “A lot of blood, some clots, etc.” she said. I have no idea if I miscarriage is even possible at 7 DPO. I mean, obviously it would have been considered chemical, but then I attempted to figure out it last month’s COW was the real thing (it was very short). Mom said that I could just be getting a heavier cycle that is making up for the last light one. She asked if I thought I was pregnant and I told her I didn’t know. At the end of the conversation she asked if I were disappointed. “What do you think?” I said as I began to choke up.
I returned again to my desk, crying. I even attempted to work as I tried to decide what to do – call Mr. Moose? Call my sister? Go home? Ask someone to come pick me up? Ultimately, I called Mr. Moose and asked if he could leave work early and I also left work early. I took an HPT when I got home and it was negative, so I’m somewhat confident that I wasn’t PG from last month. I did have an additional freak out about the ibu*profen I took on Monday, accidentally. (I’m on Tylenol only these days, but that was all I had and I had a headache and wasn’t thinking.)
The bleeding had completely stopped after about 6:30 and this morning I have had “normal” (for pre-AF) brown spotting this morning.

My mood today has been, at best, in the “okay” ranges. I’m not hungry, I’m borderline weepy and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I don’t know what it was, but emotionally, I feel as if I have lost something. My temperature today, however rose approximately .20 of a degree.

The title of today’s post is a quote from this week’s episode of Veronica Mars. It was my first conscious thought this morning when I woke. While I don’t actually think things are coming up Piznarski – unless of course, “Piznarski” is a bad thing.

Fights and PIs

Mr. Moose and I had an argument last night. We don’t argue often, so it’s kind of a big deal to me when we do. It was a pretty weird argument and I’m ashamed to say that even though I totally believe the “don’t go to bed angry” thing, last night I wanted to. I didn’t want to give in. I wanted him to take all the blame, which wasn’t fair and wasn’t realistic. We both came to the discussion with valid points. We’ve agreed to turn off the TV and computer for a week or more and go out and do things together. I was a little bummed that I’ll be missing my season finales, but he agreed to let me DVR them and watch them at a later date.

Speaking of which, my beloved Veronica Mars has just been canceled. I’m boycotting the CW next year for canceling my favorite 2 shows (also they’re finally pulling 7th Heaven – again) and not having anything worthy of watching on anymore.

Serenity’s post on the 16th sums it all up for me as far as how I feel about my fears of being infertile and having to wait to diagnose it.

On Hope, Letting Go, and Good-byes

"Sing to me the song of the stars…
Of your galaxy dancing and dancing again…
When it feels like my dreams are so far…
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again…

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands to pray
To be only Yours I pray,
To be only Yours I pray
I know now You’re my Only Hope

I give You my destiny,
I’m giving You all of me.
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am.
At the top of my lungs
I’m giving it back…" (lyrics from Only Hope sung by Switchfoot and/or Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember)

I’ve come to a better place with accepting that God’s time is not our time. I’m still temping, but I’m debating on whether or not to stop and all that.
My sister told me last night that she tried for a year before conceiving her first son. They never went back on BCP after he was born, but she didn’t conceive her second until about 2 years later. After that she was attempting to NOT have anymore (my nephews both have Cystic Fibrosis and she didn’t want to deal with that again) and she conceived M when L was around 3. It apparently got easier.

I saw a falling star last night. My sister and I were talking in the driveway at my mom’s house and there was this quick bright flash and then it fell. I suppose it could have been a firecracker or something, but it seemed like an odd time to be setting off firecrackers. She told me to make a wish, but not to tell her what it was. “I don’t think I have to,” was my answer.


Last night my mom had a house full of women to share the series finale of Gilmore Girls, our faithful friends of 7 years. My sister C, our mutual friend M (the one who will be taking care of my child when I return to work if I ever get one – this was solidified even more last night in our discussion of the way she handles temper tantrums for her daycare kids) and my mom’s friend Cathy, my other mom. It was a very nice episode and it did end well. It was sad, but so much of it felt like they knew they were saying good-bye, that I felt it wrapped up the ending so well. I would have liked it to continue and wrap up more storylines in more detail, but overall, it was good. I loved the scene when Lane wouldn’t rush Rory off on their last night together, even though the town wanted to get her moving so they could set up the surprise party. I loved that Luke stayed up all night to create a tent to block the forecasted rain from the party decorations. I love that Emily and Richard showed up and that Richard finally told Lorelai how proud he was. I loved that Emily kept trying to find way to stay involved in Lorelai’s life, even after Rory was leaving town and that Lorelai told her she would continue w/ Friday Night Dinners because she was “used to them now.” I LOVED the kiss between Lorelai and Luke. I loved that at 5am on the day Rory was to leave Lorelai said they had “one more stop to make.” And the final scene, echoing the ending of the very first episode, was absolutely perfect. Good-bye, Girls. Bon Voyage, Rory, Lorelai, Luke, Emily, and the rest of Stars Hollow. You will be missed.

There's song that's inside of my soul (a long post)

Yesterday, in church, they gave a very nice presentation. They even acknowledged those of us who have been trying to become mothers and for whatever reason aren’t. They didn’t make us stand up or anything, but they showed a real sensitivity to the women who have been trying to have a baby. I have never seen this in church before, rarely is infertility or anything like it acknowledged in a general public forum. I applaud my church leaders for the moment they gave to the women who wanted to be mothers.

Shortly after that, they did a baby dedication. My church doesn’t believe in infant baptism, believing that baptism is an outward sign of your personal decision to accept Christ as your savior. Their alternative is to have the parents present the children to the church and ask for their prayers in raising them, committing in front of everyone that they will raise the children in the way of the Lord. It was a very nice presentation, but I pretty much cried my way through it. One of the babies belonged to the couple who had tried for 4 years and adopted right before Christmas. They shared their story the first Sunday Mr. Moose and I attended this church. It was so nice to see this happy family up there on the stage, especially after hearing what they had gone through to get there.

We had a nice Mother’s Day – my in-laws (Mom, Grandma, and 2 sisters) came over and we grilled and had a nice afternoon together talking, eating, etc. SIL, J, just came back from a long weekend in NYC and many stories to tell and pictures to share. She even got her face on the Today show, so we watched the clip she was in (we DVR-ed it when she told us she was going to try and get there). It was fun. They went to a Yankees game at Yankee Stadium – the hollowed ground of my husband’s favorite team.

My sister and her husband spoke at the church we both grew up at Sunday evening. It was the first time Mr. Moose and I had returned since we left rather abruptly 15 months ago. It was nice to see some old friends and a couple of the kids from our days as youth leaders. It was a little awkward having a casual conversation with the pastor and when his wife came to hug me when she arrived, I thought she was going to cry. She has always been a very nice lady and has written us a few cards since we left. I know she was sorry to have us leave. There was never a good time last night for a private conversation between us, but Mr. Moose was able to say thank you when they first saw each other in the entryway. Her oldest 2 kids were very special to us, so it was good to see them again, as well. In addition, my friend K (the birthday party we attended a couple of weeks ago) was there and we got to talk a little.

My step-father finally got to meet my sister and her family. He is going to be a great grandfather when the time comes. He was so good with the boys.

I had the thought yesterday when my crosshairs showed up that I’m now in the time where I either am or am not. If the egg only lasts 24 hours, then it either fertilized already or it didn’t. We got a “good” rating on our BDing this month since due to scheduling conflicts we didn’t the day before O (though we did twice the day of) or the day after. I know it only takes one, but I’m starting to get down in the dumps about the whole thing. I need to get over it and cheer up.

What is up with my face? I’ve been erupting like a teenager the last several days? Never realized how much the BCP really helped with all that.

Yellow Daisies for Lorelai

I don’t believe there is truly hope to bring it back, but I post this yellow daisy in support of the campaign to keep Gilmore Girls on the air. “Love is 1,000 yellow daisies.”

Debasement Tapes

I think I’ve mentioned that my first introduction to blogs was actually personal finance blogs. I recently read a post/article about Asian culture and how once they have jobs, the kids give their parents money regularly to “pay them back” for raising them. This baffles me. I look at my family and find it amusing. My paternal grandfather is a bit senile and does occasionally ask my father for money when he’s strapped. Depending on his reasoning, my father does often give him some, but he is extremely put out by it. He once told me that his financial goal is not to give me an inheritance, but to never have to ask me for money. My father typically gives good-sized monetary gifts at birthdays and Christmas (and at our wedding – he paid off one of my student loans for a wedding gift in addition to paying for ½ my wedding), but I cannot picture myself giving him money for a gift, even if I knew he was saving for something big. (My father rarely does this – he’s more of the type of “I want it, I’ll get it for myself”). I cannot see giving my mom money for a gift, either – a gift card, sure, but not money. My husband’s family, on the other hand, has no qualms about giving money towards a larger purchase (though, by my family’s standards, they are pretty cheap and a large purchase would often take multiple birthdays, Christmas and Mother’s day to scrounge up enough cash to get something). I have a real issue giving parents money – I feel weird doing it because in my family, it was always the other way around. Even more so, I would feel weird giving my parents a monthly gift of money. Maybe I would feel differently if I had tons of money and they didn’t. I’m not sure. It just seems like parents should be allowed to give the kids money to help them out, even if it's a gift, but awkward for it to work the other way around.

In cycle news, I think I may have ovulated yesterday, because I’m starting to doubt if I read .28 or .08 on my thermometer. I had a temp jump this AM and with my – OPK last night, I’m thinking that’s what happened. I’m taking one more OPK tonight to determine if last night’s was just weird or not. I’m hoping I O-ed already since tonight is very busy and we might not have time to BD.

I finally got to see this week’s episode of Veronica Mars last night online (did I mention that our DVR had a melt down and I missed all of our shows this week? I was totally bummed). I wasn’t crazy about the Veronica/Piz storyline from last week – Piz is nice and all, but seemed a little puppy dogish with regards to Veronica – but last night’s episode made me like him more. The end scene with them together made me remember what it was like to be at the beginning of a relationship, to have it just light up your face, etc. (today's title is the title of the VM episode).

Female stuff

So, last night my sister, her husband and their 3 children (boys ages 7 and 5 and girl aged approx 18 months) came over to my house for dinner. I was very nervous – she said the kids weren’t picky eaters, but I was still a bit worried. We had chicken, broccoli and herbed potatoes and it seemed to go over pretty well. Not having kids myself, I of course had no toys for them to play with, but we gave them a set of dominoes (the boys – my niece was fascinated by the “puppies!”) and they busied themselves for over an hour setting up long trains and then knocking them down. I must say I am proud of myself for not cringing every time my younger nephew jumped off the ottoman. The only thing I didn’t like was the occasional blood-curdling scream of delight when they were playing. My mom always had a rule about screaming, and I’m afraid I’ve inherited it. My younger nephew (L) is kind of a “wild man” down to his bright orange hair (natural color, honest). He’s move active, louder, etc. than his older brother (C), but I did very well. I wondered after they left at the ability to get sticky stuff all over the table from one cupcake each, but I guess that’s to be expected.
The other news I got last night is that my sister is expecting #4 in October. She told me in a brief moment of alone time that I was the only one she wanted to tell for a long time, but since I’ve been dealing with my own inability to conceive lately, she didn’t want to shove it in my face. I’m thrilled for her, so I told her so. She was afraid I would be hurt since they weren’t actually trying for another one and got pregnant anyways. I am totally fine with this. Surprised, yes since their little girl was a happy accident originally. Bummed that my sister will have another child that I don’t get to meet for ages and ages, but I’m very happy that she will have another baby and I’m already beginning to pray that this new baby (I’m secretly hoping for another little girl and I’m already campaigning to name her Loreali) is healthy.

Okay, now to the diatribe on my Gilmore opine. I hate “rushed” endings on good shows, so I hate that they’re ending it without knowing from the get-go that it was ending. Dawson’s Creek? Awesome ending. Buffy? Great ending, perfectly fitting, etc. Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman – the ending SUCKED because they didn’t know until too late that they wouldn’t be renewed. Major cliff-hanger and we never got the payoff. If I were in Lauren and Alexis’s shoes, I would want the 7 years of my life to end perfectly, not abruptly. Why couldn’t they have just dealt with the shorter season? I’m miffed and stressed over the ending. I’m holding out hope that it is a decent ending as is rumored (and the scenes from next week included Luke and Lorelai kissing, so I’m hopeful).

CD 14 is here and no temp drop yet. The line on my OPK was darker still last night, but not quite where I expected it to be for a true +. I marked it as + on my chart, though because I don’t like seeing that yellow light “possibly fertile” indicator at the bottom.

Unto the Breach

I'm debating a pause in my temping/testing/posting, etc. I'm struggling with whether or not it's an obsession and whether I'm really letting God take control. I've always been about "He helps those who help themselves" and not waiting for His answer to hit you on the head, but... Where do you draw the line?

I’m in a horrific amount of discomfort this week. That firedrill in heels did me in. My delts are so incredibly sore. And not just sore. I’m having trouble moving. I can sit with little pain, but to stand requires much effort. Yuck.

I’m on CD 13 and no O yet. My temps have stayed down the last couple of days, but my OPK last night was darker, so I’m assuming that means we’re moving forward.

My sister and her family are coming over tonight for dinner. I’m nervous. I haven’t seen the boys in 2 years and I’ve never met my niece. And I don’t “understand” boys a lot of the time, especially not 5 and 7 year olds. Not growing up around many boys, the old adage “boys will be boys” makes me uncomfortable. But I can’t wait to see them.

The title of today's post is the title of last night's episode of Gilmore Girls. The announcement was made this week that my beloved Girls will not be returning next season, and next week's episode will be their last. I am mourning this decision, but I will share more on my opinions of this at a later time. I'm leaving work early today to race home and start dinner for my sister's arrival and have too much to do to rant about it.

Fireings and Fire Drills

Late Friday afternoon I was informed that one of my good friends at work was being let go. When the boss told friend/co-worker K and I about it, we were very angry and had a stare-down for several minutes. When he tried to get us to talk about it, both of us sat is stony silence, but I was too angry to let it go completely. I was proud of myself for staying composed, but I did let him know that every time they do this (this is the 3rd) everyone around gets nervous and panicked about “who is going to be next?” My comments allowed an opening for K as well and we were able to productively discuss the problems we see with our bosses way of handling things like this. It still sucks, but at least it was something.

On our way out the door later the let-go person (S – there are 2 Ss, this is the older one) was very quiet. No one knew how to act, so we were all acting normal for a Friday and I could tell she was ready to crack a little as she got in her car. I felt awful. And angry at our bosses for the way they handled it since I was able to see a better way of doing it, myself.

Looks like today is probably O day – my temp dropped rapidly this morning and I’m feeling some ovarian pain. We were very active this weekend, so that’s good. I started my OPKs on Saturday, though and neither looked promising. I’ll take another tonight and hope it looks good.

I’m getting frustrated with the situation surrounding my sister and seeing her. It’s like neither of us want to step on any toes so we’re not getting together. This SUCKS! She’s been nearby for a week and I still haven’t seen her.

Check out Julie’s post for today about a new bill being put before Congress about insurance coverage of ART treatments. This is a big issue for people with infertility and those of us who have the compassion for them. I’d be willing to pay an extra $1 per month to assure that more people could have the treatment they need to have a baby of their own, how about you?

We had another "fire drill" in our building this afternoon and I'm REALLY wearing the wrong shoes for the steep stairs. Argh!

Quatro de Mayo (a very boring post)

I had no time to write a post yesterday, and not much to write today. We had the in-laws over last night (little sister LP and mom) since LP wanted to soak in our hot tub. I made lasagna while Mr. Moose cleaned up a bit and we had a nice evening. After they left, I started to have some tummy trouble, which escalated into even more trouble. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but let’s just say that my husband is going to be a great father if he’s willing to sit with me and hold me when I’m sick and then clean it up without making me feel guilty.

I watched the movie Toy Story for the first time this week. I know – it’s been out forever, blah, blah. In high school my friends and I were really into Disney movies. When Toy Story came out we boycotted to protest the demise of old school animation. But Mr. Moose loves Toy Story and since I’ve seen at least a couple of them since, it doesn’t really hold true anymore (I absolutely LOVE Monster’s Inc. for example.) So I watched it, and it was good, but I didn’t LOVE it like Mr. Moose does. I will admit to getting a little wrapped up in it at the end and wondering if Slinky would ever be able to bend back into his original shape.

I’m starting OPKs this weekend. I’m nervous and excited to try them, hoping this will do the trick. I only have 5 days worth, so we shall see what happens.

My sister is in town and I get to see her next week. I’m very excited. Apparently, however, my niece is having trouble adjusting to all these new faces and people crooning over her (she was born in Sweden and has never met most of the family and friends that they are visiting, plus she’s only 17 months old) and is being very fussy overall. I don’t blame her. I was a very shy kid and I can’t imagine all these strangers coming at me like that.

Happy Cinco de Mayo tomorrow! May you all enjoy your guacamole and margaritas!

The Pearls of Wisdom

I got one of those sweet stories in my email today which I will share at the bottom of this post so that if you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to. The question was asked, “Are you holding onto things that God wants you to let go of?” And wow, did that hit me where I sat. Mr. Moose looked at me weird the other day when we had that great talk and I mentioned the whole thing about knowing I should let go and let God as far as a baby goes, but that I wasn’t ready to yet. I know I’m making it more difficult than it needs to be in the spiritual sense. But knowing and doing are two different things. This is something I know I struggle with. But I also believe I’m not standing in God’s way. If He wants me to be pregnant, whether I’m obsessing or not, I will get pregnant. I don’t believe He chooses to teach us a lesson at every turn. Sometimes He showers us with gifts and sometimes He patiently teaches us.

Yesterday I stayed home from work. Mr. Moose was given a project that he needed to concentrate on, so he was allowed to work from home. He was all excited to share this with me and so I asked him “do you want me to stay home, too or will I be too much of a distraction?” We went back and forth until I decided (shortly after the alarm went off yesterday) to go ahead and stay home and get some stuff done around the house. And boy did I! I got tons of stuff done, watched some TV for fun (Veronica Mars) and even took a nap.

My sister should be in the same state as me for the first time since my wedding 2 years ago. I haven’t talked to her yet (her in law’s are very greedy), but I hope to soon.

Okay, so here’s my sweet story from the email. Enjoy!
The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting
with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of
glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.
"Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"
Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked
back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.
"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll
think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough
money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you
might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.
Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She
wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only
time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.
Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed,
he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story.
One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"
"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."
**"Then give me your pearls."** **
*"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one
you gave me. She's my very favorite." **
"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her
cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do
you love me?"
"Daddy, you know I love you."
*"Oh Daddy, not my pearls But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow
blanket that matches her sleeper." **
"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."
And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.
A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed
with her legs crossed Indian style.
As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear
rolled down her cheek.
"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"
Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And
when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little
quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy; this is for you."
With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one
hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached
into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine
pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just
waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the
genuine treasure.
So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the
cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures.
Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things that God wants you to let go
of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships,
habits and activities that you have come so attached to that it seems
impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other
hand but do believe this one thing *
*God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.*