Friday, May 18, 2007

Everything is coming up Piznarski

(Warning: the following section contains a story that is probably TMI. If you get queasy, you may want to stop now. I will try to be as delicate as possible)
Yesterday afternoon, I had a freak out. I had some tummy “discomfort” (I’m attempting to spare you the details) and went to the restroom here at work. Ten+ minutes later, after some pretty intense pain, I noticed a whole lot of red as I was cleaning up. Thinking, “It must be hemorrhoids” I continued my clean up. I then wiped up front and found equal amounts of red. In my quest for trying to figure out what was going on (I was CD21, 7DPO – this couldn’t be AF, right?) I checked my cervical mucus. When I removed my hand, it was dark red, thick and chunky. I began a freak out. Could this be a miscarriage?
I returned to my desk, grabbed by phone and retreated to the hallway. I called my medical advisor – my mom, the nurse. I asked her what a miscarriage looks like. “A lot of blood, some clots, etc.” she said. I have no idea if I miscarriage is even possible at 7 DPO. I mean, obviously it would have been considered chemical, but then I attempted to figure out it last month’s COW was the real thing (it was very short). Mom said that I could just be getting a heavier cycle that is making up for the last light one. She asked if I thought I was pregnant and I told her I didn’t know. At the end of the conversation she asked if I were disappointed. “What do you think?” I said as I began to choke up.
I returned again to my desk, crying. I even attempted to work as I tried to decide what to do – call Mr. Moose? Call my sister? Go home? Ask someone to come pick me up? Ultimately, I called Mr. Moose and asked if he could leave work early and I also left work early. I took an HPT when I got home and it was negative, so I’m somewhat confident that I wasn’t PG from last month. I did have an additional freak out about the ibu*profen I took on Monday, accidentally. (I’m on Tylenol only these days, but that was all I had and I had a headache and wasn’t thinking.)
The bleeding had completely stopped after about 6:30 and this morning I have had “normal” (for pre-AF) brown spotting this morning.

My mood today has been, at best, in the “okay” ranges. I’m not hungry, I’m borderline weepy and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I don’t know what it was, but emotionally, I feel as if I have lost something. My temperature today, however rose approximately .20 of a degree.

The title of today’s post is a quote from this week’s episode of Veronica Mars. It was my first conscious thought this morning when I woke. While I don’t actually think things are coming up Piznarski – unless of course, “Piznarski” is a bad thing.

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