On Hope, Letting Go, and Good-byes

"Sing to me the song of the stars…
Of your galaxy dancing and dancing again…
When it feels like my dreams are so far…
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again…

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands to pray
To be only Yours I pray,
To be only Yours I pray
I know now You’re my Only Hope

I give You my destiny,
I’m giving You all of me.
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am.
At the top of my lungs
I’m giving it back…" (lyrics from Only Hope sung by Switchfoot and/or Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember)

I’ve come to a better place with accepting that God’s time is not our time. I’m still temping, but I’m debating on whether or not to stop and all that.
My sister told me last night that she tried for a year before conceiving her first son. They never went back on BCP after he was born, but she didn’t conceive her second until about 2 years later. After that she was attempting to NOT have anymore (my nephews both have Cystic Fibrosis and she didn’t want to deal with that again) and she conceived M when L was around 3. It apparently got easier.

I saw a falling star last night. My sister and I were talking in the driveway at my mom’s house and there was this quick bright flash and then it fell. I suppose it could have been a firecracker or something, but it seemed like an odd time to be setting off firecrackers. She told me to make a wish, but not to tell her what it was. “I don’t think I have to,” was my answer.


Last night my mom had a house full of women to share the series finale of Gilmore Girls, our faithful friends of 7 years. My sister C, our mutual friend M (the one who will be taking care of my child when I return to work if I ever get one – this was solidified even more last night in our discussion of the way she handles temper tantrums for her daycare kids) and my mom’s friend Cathy, my other mom. It was a very nice episode and it did end well. It was sad, but so much of it felt like they knew they were saying good-bye, that I felt it wrapped up the ending so well. I would have liked it to continue and wrap up more storylines in more detail, but overall, it was good. I loved the scene when Lane wouldn’t rush Rory off on their last night together, even though the town wanted to get her moving so they could set up the surprise party. I loved that Luke stayed up all night to create a tent to block the forecasted rain from the party decorations. I love that Emily and Richard showed up and that Richard finally told Lorelai how proud he was. I loved that Emily kept trying to find way to stay involved in Lorelai’s life, even after Rory was leaving town and that Lorelai told her she would continue w/ Friday Night Dinners because she was “used to them now.” I LOVED the kiss between Lorelai and Luke. I loved that at 5am on the day Rory was to leave Lorelai said they had “one more stop to make.” And the final scene, echoing the ending of the very first episode, was absolutely perfect. Good-bye, Girls. Bon Voyage, Rory, Lorelai, Luke, Emily, and the rest of Stars Hollow. You will be missed.