Ugh.

I’ve been on vacation and then dealing officially with the new job and training the new person for my old one, so I profusely apologize to anyone who has been reading and has not had any updates. I’ve probably lost any readers I had gained, but hey – a girl can only do so much.

On the fertility front: No clue what is going on. My temperatures have been all over the place and I’m on day 18. Last month, I only had a 26 day cycle, so I can just imagine what my body is doing. Right now, fertility friend tells me that I’m “probably fertile” but hasn’t yet marked that I’ve ovulated. We did our best to go crazy and have lots of sex while on vacation and every other day since then, so I suppose there is a chance, but I’m not holding my breath for this month. I wish I had a better idea of what was going on – whether I’m malfunctioning for no reason at all or whether I have a cyst as I initially thought last month. At what point do you go in and get that checked out if you think this is the case? Am I supposed to wait my 12 months of trying and not conceiving if I think there is a cyst problem at the beginning? Am I just a hypochondriac?

My SIL is not pregnant. When I heard that, I was both saddened for her and relieved for myself. I really didn’t want to be the second one pregnant, especially if there is a chance it will be soon. I don’t want to deal with the “you copied me” issue. Since she was some 40+ days into her cycle, they were giving her a hormone to induce her period. I took a chance and sent her an email to give her warning about what I’ve heard on that topic – that the periods are rough, worse than usual, etc. In a following email I also made some research suggestions to her. I told her about fertility friend (though according to what she has told Mr Moose, she doesn’t want to temp because it will just stress her out – to me, not having any clue what my cycle is doing would stress me more, but to each her own) and BabyCenter.com. I didn’t want to mention any of my infertility blogs yet – don’t want her to freak out that I’m assuming she’s infertile, etc.

Had some awkward news at work today that I can’t seem to put into words. I’m scared that I may lose my job soon. This of course, severely stresses me – and pisses me off all at the same time. Anybody ever want to sabotage their job on their way out the door? Not typically my style, but at this point, I’d really like to see what they’d do with out me. I have so much knowledge of this company in my head that it would be difficult for them if I left without notice.

Anyhow, I should get back to work. Things are stressful, but for now I’m still gainfully employed and should make the most of it.