Tuesday, November 1, 2011


We took the kids to the Trunk or Treat event at my in-laws church last night. As we were walking up, I started to feel weird, remembering what happened the last time I was there... the last time I took Fuss to this church all dressed up...

You see, that's when I started the heavy spotting. That was when I began losing my baby.

I calmed myself down. I reminded myself that if that baby had lived, I wouldn't have the Little Man. And I wouldn't give him up for anything. It helped that the church had changed a lot in the last 2 years, there were new buildings and a new football field for the attached high school. So the event wasn't laid out the same. It was crowded and the kids were having fun and my MIL and SILs were oohing and ahhing over the kids, etc. I saw my 31 sponsor with her kids. I saw a couple the my husband and I knew in high school (he graduated with my husband, she graduated with me), we saw some really cute and creative costumes... it was a nice evening. But I was exhausted by the end. Physically and emotionally. And I started to wonder if realizing the date had something to do with the way I had been feeling all day - tired, grumpy, like I just wanted to spend the entire day in bed.

While we were there, my knee started acting up and by the time I was driving home, I seriously didn't think I was going to make it all the way home. The pain had gotten horrible. I was limping when I got to my moms. She thinks I might have injured my miniscus (sp?) and I'm going to have to get it checked out, I guess.

I'm remembering my lost baby today. And enjoying the 2 that I have with me.

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