Growing up (adult time)

Congrats to Maggie who has done so incredibly well on her "Hot By 30" goal. I'm impressed and I've begun my own quest.

There is something about the age of 30, isn't there? Sort of seems like that is the age of adulthood to me. :)

I've struggled with "feeling like an adult" over the last several years. Which is weird because I've done a lot of "adult" things in the past 9 years. I ran a business from the time I was 20 until I was 24. I graduated college, I bought a car, all on my own (including negotiating the price), I got married, bought a house, had a baby, left my job to become a SAH mom. I'm caring full-time for a toddler and I'm ready to have another baby. When we were engaged and in the early part of our marriage, we were Youth Leaders (the church was too small for a full or part-time Youth Pastor so we were minorly paid leaders of the Youth Group - the only ones) and I always struggled with referring to myself as one of the "adults". Being a mom has helped, but still, sometimes I wonder when I'm going to be an adult.

We've paid off a huge portion of our "college debt" (not the school loans, but the credit card and medical bills that we accrued during that time.) We're doing some planning on how to fix up our house, since we're planning to be in it for awhile yet. (we have a 2/1 and need to do something if we're going to continue having kids...)

I have days where I feel confidant in myself and my abilities and days where I wonder what the heck I've been doing with the last 28+ years of my life... days where I really feel like I've got it together and days when I wonder why my life is falling down around me...

I've got some goals for the next 13 months or so (when I hit my own 30th birthday)

• I'd like to get pregnant and have a baby.(I'll be perfectly happy with being pregnant on my 30th birthday)
  
• I'd like to take a class (or at least register for one) in Creative Writing or some such at one of the local colleges.
• I'd like to make a plan and hopefully begin to implement it about our house - how to improve the space and make more.
  
• I'd like to pay off more of our student loans.
  
• I'd like to make an effort to change my working situation. Whether I find a new scenario or adjust to what I'm doing with a better attitude...
• I'd like to lose 20-40 lbs. (I know - huge range. But 20lbs would be my pre-wedding weight and 40lbs would be my sexy, young-college weight and I know that it's not likely, but geez, wouldn't that be nice?)

I cleaned out my closet this weekend and purged it of all the clothes I haven't been skinny enough for in YEARS. I do this periodically, but have held onto several items because they are my favorites. There is a blue dress that is probably my mostest favoritest dress of MY ENTIRE LIFE in there. I looked FABULOUS in this dress and I even had shoes and a purse that matched it and boy, was I hot in that little number.

But I finally got it out of my closet. I packed it and several other items (2 more of my favorite dresses, several of my favorite tops, a couple of skirts, etc.) and told my skinny SIL that she could have them. Most of them are a little dressy for her everyday life, but she could wear them to church and there were several casual tops. I was so excited to share them with someone who would look nice in them and that I might get to see them, etc. (I really loved that blue dress).

She returned them to me today, having taken none of them. I was seriously bummed. I thought for sure she'd like some of them. I'm nearly possitive that I'm not going to have the nerve to give up the blue dress again - it's going back in my closet.