1. I've been really struggling this week. I don't know, exactly, what is up, but I am in a perpetually bad mood, I am grumpy, stressed, angry, impatient. I'm hoping I will snap out of it soon, because it seems to be out of my control. About the only thing that isn't ticking me off is my baby boy - he's so sweet and cuddly and yummy. (although, I admit, when he gets to crying for no apparent reason, I get rather frustrated with him/myself for not being able to figure out what to do to make him stop.)
2. You know how in the movies or in books or whatever, a baby always settles down to the mom/special person in his life that is supposed to be his most important person? Yeah. That's not reality. Or I'm not that person, take your pick. Maybe I screw it up, but he doesn't automatically settle when I'm nearby or holding him or whatever.
3. My best friend got a teaching job this week. School started 8 weeks ago (or something - I'm not sure exactly when public schools began around here) and she's been searching for a job since July. I'm happy for her, since it will make sure that she has an income this year and as she and her husband just bought a house this summer, that is very important. But I'm bummed for me, since I was kind of getting used to having her around, being able to pick up and call her any time I wanted, etc. And she was going to babysit Fuss next week while I went to the OB for my follow-up and now she can't, of course. So I'm both happy for her and bummed for me in the process.
4. Thursday night we managed to get the baby down to sleep before 10PM. Unfortunately, this meant that he wanted to wake up much earlier than his usual 4 o'clock hour (2 o'clock hour instead) and then again before 5. I can't decide if it's better to go to bed earlier and wake up twice or go to bed later and wake only once. I'm leaning towards the latter, since I don't like waking during the night (and I consider anything before 6am to be "during the night") any more than I have to. We shall see.
5. We have been having issues w/ our garbage pick up lately. My husband called last week to report yet another missed pick up (I was coming home from an outing and saw the truck drive right past our house. If both kids hadn't been in the car, I would have run after them) and the lady on the phone gave him a hard time, telling him we should have put our cans out the night before. Since they don't pick up until after noon each time, he pointed out that it seemed ridiculous to assume that putting the garbage out 8 hours earlier than he had would have made a difference 8 hours after that. We now have a running joke about the stick on our can changing colors if we put it out before bed to let the garbage men know it was out the night before.
6. The cooler weather we've been having has prompted me to break out pants for the kids. This is at least a minor problem, since Fuss only has 3 pairs of pants and the Little Man doesn't seem to fit in pants at all. His waist is too skinny. Each time I've tried to put him in shorts or such, they fall off of him when I pick him up. I have to keep him in one piece outfits, which is fine in the warmer weather, but... He has 1 pair of pants that fit and one that sort of fits, but I'm going to have to dig in his box to discover if there are more.
7. I've been kneeling on our hard terrazzo floors to work on the flowers in Fuss's new room and I'm afraid I've bruised my knees. They hurt.
For more quick takes, click here.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Complain, complain, complain
Wednesday, I was in a very bad mood and I don't know why.
I'm tired, of course, but I've been tired for weeks and we're now at least in a rhythm which usually helps me.
I feel ugly.
And useless.
And lonely. I feel like my husband is never around and when he is, he is focused on something else (a freelance project, a household project, the kids, making dinner, whatever) and I'm grateful that he is doing something useful or helpful (I'm glad that he wants to play with his children or make dinner some nights or that he's earning money or fixing something around the house) but I feel like we've lost "us" somehow and I don't see it getting better any time soon.
Our lives are so busy overall, but I feel like somehow, my life has just gotten smaller. We don't get out as much during the day/during the week because sometimes, it's just too hard with 2 kids. Plus, Fuss and I have been sick, so even less motivation there. I'm trapped in this house, where I feel I'm cleaning all the time, but it never seems to look any better.
I have two adorable, beautiful children whom I adore, but who also take every bit of energy I have. Little Man is up to eating consistently every 2 hours (heaven help me if I'm late) and then eats from 15-30 minutes and then we have to do it all again. It takes me 30 minutes to walk out the door between getting shoes on, packing up the diaper bag, loading up the baby, wrestling Fuss to get her stuff, etc. I CAN'T go anywhere, because by the time we get some place, it's time to feed the baby again. A quick trip to the store can take hours because of that.
I want to take the kids to a Pumpkin Patch this year before the end of the month (when they all disappear) and I have no idea when that might happen. We are booked every single weekend this month with some or another.
Despite my poor mood, I accomplished a lot. By the time my husband came home from work (late, as usual), I had cleaned the kitchen, made a fabulous dinner (stuffed shells), done laundry, painted more flowers in Fuss's new room, been to work for an hour and dropped off our dry cleaning and the bed in our room was (mostly) made.
I'm tired, of course, but I've been tired for weeks and we're now at least in a rhythm which usually helps me.
I feel ugly.
And useless.
And lonely. I feel like my husband is never around and when he is, he is focused on something else (a freelance project, a household project, the kids, making dinner, whatever) and I'm grateful that he is doing something useful or helpful (I'm glad that he wants to play with his children or make dinner some nights or that he's earning money or fixing something around the house) but I feel like we've lost "us" somehow and I don't see it getting better any time soon.
Our lives are so busy overall, but I feel like somehow, my life has just gotten smaller. We don't get out as much during the day/during the week because sometimes, it's just too hard with 2 kids. Plus, Fuss and I have been sick, so even less motivation there. I'm trapped in this house, where I feel I'm cleaning all the time, but it never seems to look any better.
I have two adorable, beautiful children whom I adore, but who also take every bit of energy I have. Little Man is up to eating consistently every 2 hours (heaven help me if I'm late) and then eats from 15-30 minutes and then we have to do it all again. It takes me 30 minutes to walk out the door between getting shoes on, packing up the diaper bag, loading up the baby, wrestling Fuss to get her stuff, etc. I CAN'T go anywhere, because by the time we get some place, it's time to feed the baby again. A quick trip to the store can take hours because of that.
I want to take the kids to a Pumpkin Patch this year before the end of the month (when they all disappear) and I have no idea when that might happen. We are booked every single weekend this month with some or another.
Despite my poor mood, I accomplished a lot. By the time my husband came home from work (late, as usual), I had cleaned the kitchen, made a fabulous dinner (stuffed shells), done laundry, painted more flowers in Fuss's new room, been to work for an hour and dropped off our dry cleaning and the bed in our room was (mostly) made.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Chunky Monkey - Well, that makes 2 of us
The Little Man had his 1-month appointment on Monday and has grown to over 10lbs! For once, the pediatrician didn't mention formula once. I had determined that if she suggested supplementation one more time, I was going to find a new doctor for my kids. But, no, everyone was happy with his growth, which includes almost 2 inches in length and almost 2 lbs since birth!
I got into my pre-pregnancy jeans on Tuesday. I buttoned the waist and sipped them up and proceeded to wear them around the house for 3 hours. And then I realized that it wasn't going to work all day to wear them, so I took them off. They were tight - I am certainly not SHAPED like I was pre-pregnancy. (I've never been huge on looking amazingly fit - not that I wouldn't like to, but I won't put in the effort, so I know it's not realistic. But right now, less than 5 weeks postpartum, I kinda can't stand to look at my body in a full-length mirror. Ugh.) Shortly thereafter, our potty training experiment went awry and my pre-pregnancy jeans (btw, they were my fat jeans - don't think I'm squeezing into my ideal size or anything) ended up soaking up a small puddle of pee on the bathroom floor - so obviously they need to be washed before that experiment happens again!
But the weather here has turned a bit cooler than normal for this time of year - it's amazingly pleasant (and as it's October, the traffic on the streets has doubled - seemingly overnight - with the arrival of the snowbirds and tourists and now they're never gonna wanna leave with the weather so nice!) but I'm going to need to start wearing jeans more frequently, with the cool mornings and evenings. My maternity jeans are HUGE on me now - wearable, but I'm constantly having to pull them back onto my hips as they slide down. And a lot of my tops aren't long enough to cover the elastic waistband of the maternity pants, so I'm constantly tugging on my tops, too - it's a mess! I'm likely going to have to have break down and buy some jeans that fit differently so I have something to wear right now. I hate to do that - I don't want to spend money on clothes I hope to not be able to wear in another month, but I'm getting desperate.
Ultimately, I'd like to get down to me pre-wedding weight. No where near where I was in high school or at my best weight since reaching adulthood, but a much more reasonable weight for my body. I've asked my husband to encourage me to get more active (can you get more active than chasing after a 2-year-old while nursing a newborn?) overall and I'm making arrangements to return to walking w/ my friend Jo and her kids. (this should be interesting - 2 toddlers and 2 infants)
I have a lot of work to do before I'm happy with my appearance again. But I think I'll get there. Eventually.
I got into my pre-pregnancy jeans on Tuesday. I buttoned the waist and sipped them up and proceeded to wear them around the house for 3 hours. And then I realized that it wasn't going to work all day to wear them, so I took them off. They were tight - I am certainly not SHAPED like I was pre-pregnancy. (I've never been huge on looking amazingly fit - not that I wouldn't like to, but I won't put in the effort, so I know it's not realistic. But right now, less than 5 weeks postpartum, I kinda can't stand to look at my body in a full-length mirror. Ugh.) Shortly thereafter, our potty training experiment went awry and my pre-pregnancy jeans (btw, they were my fat jeans - don't think I'm squeezing into my ideal size or anything) ended up soaking up a small puddle of pee on the bathroom floor - so obviously they need to be washed before that experiment happens again!
But the weather here has turned a bit cooler than normal for this time of year - it's amazingly pleasant (and as it's October, the traffic on the streets has doubled - seemingly overnight - with the arrival of the snowbirds and tourists and now they're never gonna wanna leave with the weather so nice!) but I'm going to need to start wearing jeans more frequently, with the cool mornings and evenings. My maternity jeans are HUGE on me now - wearable, but I'm constantly having to pull them back onto my hips as they slide down. And a lot of my tops aren't long enough to cover the elastic waistband of the maternity pants, so I'm constantly tugging on my tops, too - it's a mess! I'm likely going to have to have break down and buy some jeans that fit differently so I have something to wear right now. I hate to do that - I don't want to spend money on clothes I hope to not be able to wear in another month, but I'm getting desperate.
Ultimately, I'd like to get down to me pre-wedding weight. No where near where I was in high school or at my best weight since reaching adulthood, but a much more reasonable weight for my body. I've asked my husband to encourage me to get more active (can you get more active than chasing after a 2-year-old while nursing a newborn?) overall and I'm making arrangements to return to walking w/ my friend Jo and her kids. (this should be interesting - 2 toddlers and 2 infants)
I have a lot of work to do before I'm happy with my appearance again. But I think I'll get there. Eventually.
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