Friday, April 17, 2009

World's Worst Mom, Right here.

Sometimes I feel like the World's Worst Mom.
I get frustrated with the baby and I'm stressed out and then I yell at her. Or I'm really impatient with her and later, I feel awful, but in the moment, sometimes it's like I can't stop it.

I wonder, sometimes, if it was a mistake to become a mother. I love her, but sometimes I feel like such a failure - like I'm not doing enough, like I don't know how to interact with her properly, like I'm not teaching her enough or right or whatever.

And I feel even more guilty when I think of those women who are struggling to become mothers, or even worse, those who have lost their child. They would do this so much better.

And then things like last night happen to add to my "Worst Mom" status. At work last night just as I was getting ready to close the store, Daddy Fuss (who had come to bring us dinner) turns around and sees the baby about to drink cleaning solution. Long story short, we called Poison control (why is that number so hard to find? It took me forever) and the solution was 98% water and she was fine. She might have not gotten much, or any, but I was still freaking out.

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