Update on goals for the year:
I know it’s only 4 days into the year, but thus far, I’ve been doing pretty well. Mr Moose and I have gone on a mile walk (with the dogs) each night of 2007 so far. I really didn’t want to go last night, but he pushed and I did and it wasn’t awful. I was in SUCH a bad mood last night, it was crazy. I’m 1 week away from CD1 and I must be really PMS-ing.
We’ve been eating reasonably healthy for dinners and been consistent about eating breakfast, which in the past has not been even remotely a priority.
Not doing so well with the morning stretches. We both did on Tuesday, but that’s been it for me. I need to do more of that.
I still have not written my Christmas thank you cards. I know EXACTLY what I’m going to say to my Gramma, but I have yet to actually pull out the card and write it. I’m also behind on printing my 2006 in review holiday letter. I’m such a slacker.
Random thoughts: I hate student loans. While I appreciate that they were blessedly easy to get in order for me to get the education that I wanted, I had no idea at the time what it was going to mean to have that much debt over my head. It’s insane. I know there are people who have it WAY worse, but it’s still frustrating. Student loan debt is actually keeping me from being able to pay old credit card debt. And I can’t quit working until my student loans are paid off because while we can LIVE on my husband’s income, we can’t pay off old debt without mine. I need to win the lottery.
More random thoughts: I am exceedingly grateful to have the husband that I have. I read other women’s blogs – especially the ones about infertility or trying to get pregnant, and I realize how amazing my husband is. He listens to my complaints and my fears about my body, he can even talk intelligently with my about my cycle since he’s been listening to my research findings for months now. When he talked to sister he was able to ask her some intelligent questions about how her struggle to get pregnant because he had been paying attention to my factoids.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
My reasons why I read... (it's a long one!)
I’ve been playing catch up reading the old posts for a new infertility blog over at http://hopingforanotherbaby.blogspot.com/ and reading Alli’s story. Parts of it are heartbreaking. And while I’m hardly dealing with the same things these women are (Julie, Heather, Alli, etc.) I can’t help but be terrified. It’s weird, I know. Why psych myself up like that? Well, to be honest, I have a few reasons.
Initially, I came across Julie’s blog when I thought I might be pregnant, unplanned. (antibiotics and BC don’t mix well and I was acting all weepy, etc.) I googled something (can’t remember what) and got to Julie’s site. It ended up actually being after she had Charlie, but I started at the beginning of her posts and read the whole story, often loosing track of the fact that this was actually several years earlier. She is an awesome writer and the ordeal she went through, while incredibly tragic, was just so riveting (I hope this doesn’t sound weird) that I totally got hooked. It’s so incredible that she has been able to tell this story and also be support and supported by her internet friends who are going through similar trials. She’s an amazing woman. Anyway, I now check it daily for her updates and have even commented a few times. I haven’t left my URL yet, because I don’t want her to feel like I’m being entertained by her situation (although she can be INCREDIBLY Entertaining. You should see her infertility snowflakes and her banned-infertility art) if she comes over here and reads that I really haven’t had any complications or anything. Maybe I’m weird.
Secondly, my grandmother was told she would never have children back in the 40s because of some physical issues, like a tipped uterus (I also have this, but Liz, my OB/GYN has said it’s equated to being left-handed – no worries), etc. She had 3 children, but it still scares me. My mom had to try for 4 years to have me and had the fertility meds in her purse when she found out she was pregnant. She got pregnant one other time, but lost it (I think I mentioned this before – it was either ectopic or miscarried, I’m not sure). My sister (keep in mind, she is not biologically related to me) also has a tipped uterus and had trouble getting pregnant with her first child. Her doctor blamed this on the angle of her uterus, so now I’m wondering what effect mine will have on my getting pregnant. She didn’t have much difficulty getting pregnant with #2 and #3 was a happy accident, so after that it was smooth sailing, but still…
Thirdly, I have a weird medical history of abdominal problems that defy odds and statistics and family history. I am 26 years old and have had kidney stones 5 times, beginning when I was 19. I have inconsistent irritable bowels that no one else in my family has (mom has issues, but they are opposite mine and are attributed to scar tissue built up from her 3 abdominal surgeries beginning with my birth and the ensuing infection she got after they screwed up her C-section.) I get migraines, which no one in my family gets and I have a weak/hypersensitive vagal nerve, which causes me to pass out with intense abdominal pain. I have also had abdominal surgery to remove a large golfball-sized cyst from my left ovary in the past year and my doc told me to try and get pregnant before one came back again.
So, I’m scared about my fertility. I am also research crazy - always wanting to know the best and worst possibilities. I read the books and scour the internet. I want to be prepared. And I want to know there are women out there who will be able to offer encouragement.
Does it seem like more and more women are having cysts and endometriosis, etc? Or maybe just more of them talk about it now. My BF had a cyst the same time as mine (hers showed up after and she got the laparoscopy instead of the laparotomy because mine was bigger) and my college roommate has polycystic ovaries and can’t get pregnant (she has 2 adorable adopted children now and when I think about the blessing that she is in their lives, I know it was always God’s plan for her). My RD in college had severe endometriosis and a friend of mine had the lap surgery in her mid-twenties to remove cysts as well. What is it that we are doing to our bodies that is making more and more women have these problems?
One of the blogs I read talks about her reaction when her son was born. The moment he was out and they announced that she had a baby boy, her first words were “I love him!” I think that is so incredibly cute. And it’s weird, because I desperately want to have that reaction, too. As a matter of fact, I think about how in some weird way, I already feel that way about my potential child… I’m so ready to have a baby to love.
Random thought: I am in charge of checking/clearing the SPAM filter for my office email system. I do it several times a day. When I see SPAM emails to my bosses that include the subject lines similar to “wanna be a REAL man?” and “Please your girlriend THIS way” I get creeped out, even though I know it’s SPAM. I laugh when those same emails get sent to our FEMALE Traffic Manager.
Initially, I came across Julie’s blog when I thought I might be pregnant, unplanned. (antibiotics and BC don’t mix well and I was acting all weepy, etc.) I googled something (can’t remember what) and got to Julie’s site. It ended up actually being after she had Charlie, but I started at the beginning of her posts and read the whole story, often loosing track of the fact that this was actually several years earlier. She is an awesome writer and the ordeal she went through, while incredibly tragic, was just so riveting (I hope this doesn’t sound weird) that I totally got hooked. It’s so incredible that she has been able to tell this story and also be support and supported by her internet friends who are going through similar trials. She’s an amazing woman. Anyway, I now check it daily for her updates and have even commented a few times. I haven’t left my URL yet, because I don’t want her to feel like I’m being entertained by her situation (although she can be INCREDIBLY Entertaining. You should see her infertility snowflakes and her banned-infertility art) if she comes over here and reads that I really haven’t had any complications or anything. Maybe I’m weird.
Secondly, my grandmother was told she would never have children back in the 40s because of some physical issues, like a tipped uterus (I also have this, but Liz, my OB/GYN has said it’s equated to being left-handed – no worries), etc. She had 3 children, but it still scares me. My mom had to try for 4 years to have me and had the fertility meds in her purse when she found out she was pregnant. She got pregnant one other time, but lost it (I think I mentioned this before – it was either ectopic or miscarried, I’m not sure). My sister (keep in mind, she is not biologically related to me) also has a tipped uterus and had trouble getting pregnant with her first child. Her doctor blamed this on the angle of her uterus, so now I’m wondering what effect mine will have on my getting pregnant. She didn’t have much difficulty getting pregnant with #2 and #3 was a happy accident, so after that it was smooth sailing, but still…
Thirdly, I have a weird medical history of abdominal problems that defy odds and statistics and family history. I am 26 years old and have had kidney stones 5 times, beginning when I was 19. I have inconsistent irritable bowels that no one else in my family has (mom has issues, but they are opposite mine and are attributed to scar tissue built up from her 3 abdominal surgeries beginning with my birth and the ensuing infection she got after they screwed up her C-section.) I get migraines, which no one in my family gets and I have a weak/hypersensitive vagal nerve, which causes me to pass out with intense abdominal pain. I have also had abdominal surgery to remove a large golfball-sized cyst from my left ovary in the past year and my doc told me to try and get pregnant before one came back again.
So, I’m scared about my fertility. I am also research crazy - always wanting to know the best and worst possibilities. I read the books and scour the internet. I want to be prepared. And I want to know there are women out there who will be able to offer encouragement.
Does it seem like more and more women are having cysts and endometriosis, etc? Or maybe just more of them talk about it now. My BF had a cyst the same time as mine (hers showed up after and she got the laparoscopy instead of the laparotomy because mine was bigger) and my college roommate has polycystic ovaries and can’t get pregnant (she has 2 adorable adopted children now and when I think about the blessing that she is in their lives, I know it was always God’s plan for her). My RD in college had severe endometriosis and a friend of mine had the lap surgery in her mid-twenties to remove cysts as well. What is it that we are doing to our bodies that is making more and more women have these problems?
One of the blogs I read talks about her reaction when her son was born. The moment he was out and they announced that she had a baby boy, her first words were “I love him!” I think that is so incredibly cute. And it’s weird, because I desperately want to have that reaction, too. As a matter of fact, I think about how in some weird way, I already feel that way about my potential child… I’m so ready to have a baby to love.
Random thought: I am in charge of checking/clearing the SPAM filter for my office email system. I do it several times a day. When I see SPAM emails to my bosses that include the subject lines similar to “wanna be a REAL man?” and “Please your girlriend THIS way” I get creeped out, even though I know it’s SPAM. I laugh when those same emails get sent to our FEMALE Traffic Manager.
Monday, January 1, 2007
HAP-py New Year!
Mr Moose and I began our new year and our resolutions to get our weight and health in better shape by going for a long walk (with the dogs) last night after dinner. We typically just take a walk around the block – a decent sized block, but nothing spectacular. However, last night I got the bright idea to go the other way and it ended up making it a much longer walk. It was okay – not too much or anything, but I realized I had to use the rest room half way out and it had rained all day so there were many puddles for us and the dogs to walk through or around.
While watching TV over the weekend, I saw an ad for this Pilates resistance band thing that I was very interested in. It claims that with only 2 minutes per zone, you can get a good work out. Mr Moose was willing to order it for me if I promised to use it. He also bought me a yoga/Pilates mat at Target and we both vowed to start stretching in the mornings before these new supplies get here. We also talked about borrowing some exercise videos from his sister who recently went on a fitness kick and has lost a lot of weight and has even done several mini-marathons and half triathlons with her training. I hate the idea of going to a gym since I pretty much have no clue what I’m doing and am in terrible shape. I can’t believe how badly I am out of shape. It’s sad. So home videos, stretches from my cheerleading days and Pilates tension bands are my early plan of attack.
We bought the grill last week and are planning to use it a lot for meals since it’s a nice, flavorful and healthy way of cooking. Also, grilling was the first way I got into eating vegetables… I was visiting my college roommate and her husband and they had just bought a grill the day before I arrived. We used it all weekend long and Kristie made these vegetable packets for grilling. They were wonderful. Nice and crisp (the best way to eat vegetables IMO) and I really started getting into Asian food and crisp vegetables even though before that point I had avoided most vegetables at all costs.
We also bought an electric juicer to start to juice some of that extraordinary amount of fruit that is growing in our back yard. I have been avoiding citrus because of my frequent heartburn (you know what fixes it? Egg nog. Weird, huh?) but Mr Moose LOVES it. I have the occasional sips and it’s really good.
While watching TV over the weekend, I saw an ad for this Pilates resistance band thing that I was very interested in. It claims that with only 2 minutes per zone, you can get a good work out. Mr Moose was willing to order it for me if I promised to use it. He also bought me a yoga/Pilates mat at Target and we both vowed to start stretching in the mornings before these new supplies get here. We also talked about borrowing some exercise videos from his sister who recently went on a fitness kick and has lost a lot of weight and has even done several mini-marathons and half triathlons with her training. I hate the idea of going to a gym since I pretty much have no clue what I’m doing and am in terrible shape. I can’t believe how badly I am out of shape. It’s sad. So home videos, stretches from my cheerleading days and Pilates tension bands are my early plan of attack.
We bought the grill last week and are planning to use it a lot for meals since it’s a nice, flavorful and healthy way of cooking. Also, grilling was the first way I got into eating vegetables… I was visiting my college roommate and her husband and they had just bought a grill the day before I arrived. We used it all weekend long and Kristie made these vegetable packets for grilling. They were wonderful. Nice and crisp (the best way to eat vegetables IMO) and I really started getting into Asian food and crisp vegetables even though before that point I had avoided most vegetables at all costs.
We also bought an electric juicer to start to juice some of that extraordinary amount of fruit that is growing in our back yard. I have been avoiding citrus because of my frequent heartburn (you know what fixes it? Egg nog. Weird, huh?) but Mr Moose LOVES it. I have the occasional sips and it’s really good.
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