So yesterday, I had a bit of a scare. Looked back at the calendar to figure out when to expect my period and realized that it had been 6 weeks and a few days since my last period. My BC pills are only 80% effective when used correctly (and to be honest, I haven't been using them correctly because of some outside factors) so I was a little freaked. Told my husband, he told me to get a test. Was very sweet and calm about it. Took Fuss to school, went to breakfast with my Gram (our Monday tradition)Took a test, it came up negative and we all breathed a sigh of relief. (and had a moment of disappointment)
No biggie. It happens. Annovulatory cycle or something? Who knows. I was feeling okay about it, since my husband had reacted so well. I knew it wasn't ideal, obviously. The timing was bad. We'd already discussed that and despite the fact that I'm emotionally in the place of wanting another baby and wanting it NOW, I know that it's not the right time right now. But I felt like if it had happened, it wouldn't have been the end of the world.
And then, in talking about it last night, my husband makes the comment, "it would have put a strain on our relationship." And inside I just froze. Seriously? Makes it sound a heck of a lot more serious than I thought. And makes me feel like he would have blamed me for getting pregnant.
Don't get me wrong, I screwed up. I know this. But it's not like I did it on purpose. I don't actually WANT to be pregnant right now. I don't want to deliver a baby in July in Florida. I don't want to get into a pregnancy when we have no money in savings and Christmas is weeks away. Trust me, I don't think I'd be 100% thrilled with the timing, either. But I certainly don't think it would "cause a strain in our relationship."
Come to think of it, most of my friends who have 3 kids - the third was a surprise, an oops, an unplanned-miracle.
To be honest, I'm feeling like that statement he made is putting more of strain on our relationship than having a baby would. The more I think about it, the more I'm pissed that he said that.