Hello. Wow. I’ve been bad this week. I’ve been feeling kinda gross, which causes me to move slower and since work has been chaotic at best, I’ve had less and less time to devote to filling you in on, well, everything.
JULIA has had some great news, which has caused me to tear up with joy. I look forward to following her pregnancy with great happiness.
I also had some bad news. A mutual friend of Mr. Moose and myself (we were all friends in high school, but when I graduated, he and she remained close and she and I drifted apart) called to say hello last week. He shared our news and she told him, with effort that she had been pregnant, but no longer was. She was in a public setting and couldn’t discuss it, but called back later to give him the skinny. They were incredibly close friends once upon a time. He and I were the wedding photographers at her wedding. They’ve been married about a year and a half longer than us.
Long story short (she made him promise not to tell me all the details until after our baby was born) when they got to the mid-point ultra sound to find out the baby’s gender, they discovered some major abnormalities in the baby. So bad, in fact, that the chances of the baby making it to full term were slim, and surviving past a day or so were pretty much nil. The doctors also told them that there was some risk to the mother, so after much discussion with her husband, her parents and their pastor (we come from a background that is strongly against abortion) they decided to induce labor then, under medical supervision, somewhere around 20 weeks gestation. She was in labor for 32 hours. I cannot imagine the heartache that she must have dealt with. My heart breaks for her, especially since I know they dealt with some fertility problems early on in the quest for a child. It has, of course, put a strain on them both. The good news, though it hardly makes up for the pain they’ve recently endured, is that it wasn’t found to be a genetic defect, and the chances of children having this problem in the future are statistically very low. My heart aches with sadness for them. I know how attached I am to our little bean, and how each day, I become more so. I cannot imagine losing a baby that far along without enduring some very serious heartache. Though I know she will likely never read this, my prayers are with her and her husband as they grieve and deal with their loss.
I think the reality of this situation makes talk of serious problems more real to Mr. Moose. He has often wondered as I have gotten involved with the world of infertility online if I am filling my head with so much of the negative, that I’m setting myself up for disappointment. I see it as getting a taste of reality. My BFF conceives so easily, that I needed to be reminded with some real, true stories that it isn’t that easy for all of us.
In other news, my morning sickness has persisted, though it is simply periods of nausea with occasional attacks of gagging that seem to come both randomly and in accordance with strong odors. Cheerios have become a friend. Something mild to sit in my stomach at all times.
Please forgive the TMI I’m about to share. You’d think with my history of, shall we say “loose” trips to the bathroom, the iron in the pre-natals wouldn’t affect me so much. Not so. I seem to go from one extreme to the next pretty much every couple of days. I hope I am not doing my baby harm with my occasional minor dehydration. I am quite good about staying hydrated at home, where there is water I like, but not nearly as good about it at work.
My SIL mentioned today that she’s been feeling rather queasy as well. Her current EDD is March 2nd – merely 4 days after my own. There are really only 2 days which I DON’T want to deliver – Mr. Moose’s birthday – which doubles as Valentine’s Day for most people in America – and February 29th – (2008 is a Leap Year). The more I think about it, the cooler it will be for these little cousins (in the future at least) to have close, if not the exact same birthday.
Mr. Moose and I discussed the potential dilemma of LB and I going into labor at the same time: where should his mother be? I decided that since I could not imagine my mother being anywhere but with me as I gave birth, that it would be very important for her to be with LB in North Carolina should she request her to be there. While my plan was always to have her there, should Mr. Moose faint (which he often does in medical situations), her need for her own mother would likely be greater and I have no intention of denying her that. Of course, the need may not arise – if either of us goes into labor early or late, or even exactly on time, his mother would have the opportunity to be there for both.
I’m almost exclusively wearing maternity clothes these days. I can wear my 2 skitrs that have elastic waistbands and several tops without issue, all of my pants are too restricting to be comfortable, so I have relegated them to the boxes of “too small” clothes and given up on them entirely. Really, only one of my pairs of pants fit me perfectly – the rest are all too big, but sit on my hips without falling down, so I wear them anyhow. Comfort is key, especially as my stomach seems to have a new annoying reaction each day.
We are making the announcement to his extended family soon (his aunt and cousin will be in town this weekend, and it is difficult for me to hide me slightly rounded midsection). I will likely give my grandmother the go-ahead to share the news with my cousins (and Aunt and Uncle) as well. It saddens me to think that my beloved favorite uncle will not be around to meet this baby, as I know he would have been a happily doting great-uncle to her (she’s a girl this week, as well), but many stories and pictures can be shared with her as she grows up so that she gets to know her great-uncle that was so important to me. I also think of my grandfather – who would have loved to have another generation sit in his lap. But I know he and his son will smile down on us from heaven.