I had the weirdest dream Sunday night. I dreamt that Mr. Moose and I were living in a house (not one that I recognized) with my mother and that my old dog was there and still alive. Our current dogs were also there and while my dog, Murphy, had lived with Tiki, Mr. Moose’s dog, buck never did. But anyway. One summer afternoon I let the dog outside and then, 5 days alter at 4am I realized that I couldn’t remember letting him back in – ever – and I hadn’t seen him in days. I think I may have killed him, though that was never determined in the dream. I woke up at 4am and couldn’t stop focusing on the dream thinking over and over “oh my gosh, I killed the dog and how on earth am I going to be a mother if I can’t take care of a dog?” Tiki died of old age and other related health problems nearly a year ago and I had nothing to do with it, by the way. The only other thing my mind would think about was an annoying line from a stupid Orbitz gum commercial – “Who are you calling a cootie queen, you lint licker?!” Very weird nights.
I also had dreams this week including borrowing a suit for Mr. Moose (who is a large man) from a gay male co-worker (who is significantly smaller) – when he brought in his suit, it was sour apple green. (My co-worker isn’t typically that flamboyant) and another dream that included kicking the butt of a high school classmate for cutting in line at a public restroom (like now, when I’m 6 months pregnant) – I haven’t seen or heard from/about this person in AGES, so no telling why she was in my dream.
(TMI alert) Monday night my gastrointestinal festival finally got geared up and I had this incredibly painful session in the bathroom. It included lots of groaning and moaning and ultimately ended with me waking Mr. Moose out of a dead sleep to come take care of me when I got close to fainting. It was awful. I felt so bad for waking him and scaring him, but I was starting to panic that I would faint and knock myself out, or that all the pain and contracting in my body was distressing the baby, etc. We then fought over the toilet for several minutes (the problem with only having one bathroom) and I informed him that we were definitely getting the epidural during labor. It was so awful. The good news is, I’m feeling much emptier, the softener I took over the weekend did do a decent amount of good and I’m back to milkshakes doing their duty (add to that a combo of apples, raisin bran and anything else I could possibly think of to naturally get me moving). My various ways to keep conscious involve cold wet clothes on the back of my neck, purposely trying to even my breathing (easier said than done when in pain) and ice cold water to cool me down. By the time I finally got back to bed, I was exhausted and fell asleep quickly. (It didn’t last – the water came back to haunt me an hour later). But the baby was active this morning and I’m beginning to feel the little bump, bump on the outside occasionally, so hopefully Mr. Moose will soon get to feel it too.
My sister had her baby. It’s a girl (I’m so excited!) and her name is Rebecca. Rebecca was one of our choices, and I am now thinking I will have to put it aside. Mr. Moose hates that reasoning, but I stand firm that close family/friends shouldn’t share names of kids to avoid confusion – at least if they are close in age. It gets too confusing when they spend lots of time together. I’m bummed since it was going to be paired with my Grandmother’s name and I’ve been increasingly liking the idea of having a “Becca” around. But alas, we’re pretty much down to 2, though last night I started pouring through the books to see if I could find another. It seems like it’s too early to have the decision made or something. (We have a 3rd name that I have been yet unwilling to drop from the official consideration list. Meaning-wise, it’s the prettiest of them all, but it’s also the least common/popular of the group and the most likely to better fit a girly-girl than a tomboy, hence my reason for loving it.) I cannot decide if I am superstitious enough to believe that the child’s name will (at least help) determine the personality of the child or not. If so, I want to have a name that will encompass all my hopes and dreams for my baby girl and some of these names just don’t cut it. They’re nice, pretty, full of personal meaning to us, but less-so full of hopes and dreams for her personality, etc.
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