Monday, August 5, 2013

More preggo ramblings

I think even my mommy friends might be getting sick of my pregnancy woes. To be honest, I think I'm sick of them myself. This pregnancy has been difficult for me - not because it's full of dangerous complications or anything (I have had none of the drama or concerns of many of the stories I have heard) but because it just seems to have worn me out.

I remember when I was pregnant with Fuss, the exhaustion of the first trimester just knocked me down. I was working a traditional full-time office job at the time and couldn't really rest during the day so I'd come home, sit down on the couch and fall asleep. Every. Single. Day. And I remember waiting for the 2nd trimester "energy" to come - and it didn't. Okay, so I didn't fall asleep at 6:15 every evening. But energy? Not so much.

I seem to have the same issue now. Where's the energy, folks? I'm wiped out each day. And the pains in my body (I messed up my sacrum last week and limped around for 2-3 days before going to the chiropractor and getting some amazing relief.), the daily headaches of late, and the still-present nausea and sensitive gag reflex are really just wearing me out! My husband has had to do the dishes because I absolutely cannot handle the smell of old food right now. Makes me gag and retch and vomit over and over. (he loaded a particularly smelly set into the dishwasher this morning and I made the mistake of opening the door to put one more item inside. I was leaning over the sink for several minutes on the one whiff I caught.)

I don't do pregnancy well. I seem to forget that in between each one, having some sort of pregnancy euphoria and only remembering the good parts (wearing comfy, stretchy maternity clothes, the feel of the baby moving within me, picking out and preparing tiny baby clothes, soft blankets, the feel of newness to everything...) and then all this misery is magically wiped from my memory until I'm going through it again.

I'm determined to have most, if not all, of my prep work done for this baby ahead of time. I've always wanted to get most of it done weeks ahead, but something (or someone) has prevented me the previous times. (Depending on someone else to pain the nursery when I was pregnant with Fuss and the room construction going on when I was pregnant with Little Man.) Since we still have many of the clothes Fuss wore and lots of the supplies, it shouldn't be too difficult to do my prep work ahead of time. And since we officially moved Little Man into Fuss's room (now The Kids Room) over the weekend, now all I have to do is clear out the nursery (half of which has been used as some sort of chaotic storage of late) and start moving baby things into it. I'm a little nervous about the potential threat of bedrest that my midwife warned me about because of my high blood pressure this time. And I don't want to be dependent during the holidays (as Christmas is exactly one month prior to my due date) on asking other people to do this for me.

But at the same time, I feel like I'm further along than I am. I feel like... knowing she's a girl so early, having a lot of stuff available already, etc. and I'm not even to the halfway point... it's throwing me off!

And now I feel like I'm not on the same page as anyone else when it comes to her name. I found out last week that the nickname I was planning to nearly-exclusively use for her is not the favorite nickname of my husband. My in-laws are, at best, lukewarm on the name. I'm seriously considering changing the middle name (as I explained to my husband that if we hadn't already announced the other one to the family, I would have already changed it. But I don't want them to think "she changed her mind on the middle name, maybe we can get her to change her mind on the first name, too!" and then start campaigning for their choices.) I got all emotional when I was talking to my husband about this and he really thinks it's a non-issue. But I'm frustrated by the whole thing and getting so upset about it and I can't tell if I'm just hormonally-driven and being irrational or if he's just shrugging it off and not caring because he doesn't want to fight about it and is sick of being in the middle between his family and me.

And that's pretty much my story. I feel like I'm always questioning if my actions are normal and rational right now or if I'm in an irrational hormonal-driven mess. It's not a fun way to go through life.

1 comment:

  1. I had no complications with either of my pregnancies and I hated being pregnant. I loved feeling babies in my belly, but that was really and truly the only redeeming thing for me. Only a few more months to get through! I'm here for venting if you need - I don't mind the whining :)