Unsatisfied

We have become such a society of excess, of "more" and of "me too". The Little Man just had a birthday and I was trying to come up with a good gift for him. I stumbled across some trucks - all sorts - in the grocery store one day and since they were bigger than matchbox cars (which he loves, but his little hands seem to do better with bigger) and seemed really sturdy like the older ones he plays with at my Gram's house (which he loves) AND had openable doors (another feature of one or 2 of the one's at Gigi's house - he loves that, too) and it was cheap ($4?) I snatched up one for him. He LOVES it. Doesn't want to put it down. Wants to carry it everywhere, wants to sleep with it, roll it over every surface, etc. A week after he'd received it, it was still his favorite play thing, having replaced the much more annoying and "dangerous" (to the rest of us) plastic bat my dad had given him. I remember thinking the other day, "well, that turned out good. I should go get more!"

And then I stopped myself. Why does he need more? He has plenty of cars in general and he likes most of them. Some are more special than others, and with the exception of this red truck, he even lets his sister play with them without much incident since there are so many of them. But does he need more of them? Of course not.

The thing is, I know I'm not the only one. And I don't just tend toward this excess in the realm of possessions, either. Do you know how frustrated I get driving in the car when I can't do multiple things at once? I drive along thinking about all the things I need to do - things I need to look up online, people I need to contact, promotions for my Thirty-One business I want to run, people I need to call, projects I need to pursue... and I get so frustrated that I can't do them while "wasting my time" driving. I think if the public transportation didn't stink so much around here (and I didn't have to haul around 2 little kids) I might take advantage of it, just so I could text/research/write while commuting to wherever it was that I needed to go.

But isn't it sometimes nice to take a break? Shouldn't it be more relaxing to step away from my computer screen and put my phone down? And yet I am stressed by it and constantly thinking of it as "wasted time." I find that weird, when I sit down to think about it.

Even this blog post began in my head while in the car. I had to grab my notebook out of my bag and try to jot down a handful of notes at stoplights. I wish I knew a trick for settling my mind down a little better. I try not to text while actually driving - I try to wait until stoplights or whatever. But I feel this urgency when I get a text or a thought that needs to be texted. I feel like it's rude to not answer right away. Am I the only one who feels this way? Am I crazy?