Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Isolation

I never made a conscious decision to stop blogging and/or being an active part of the blog community, but a couple of years ago when I was dealing with depression and working on getting myself back to normal, it just sort of happened. I wasn't as interested in living my life inside the computer as I had been. The problem is, I actually LOVE writing and since I've been blocked for what seems like ages now, my blogging was the only thing that was keeping me writing on a regular basis. I stopped being a daily reader of many of the blogs I'd grown to think of as friends - partially because despite the fact that I was incredibly active and loyal, I still felt that these "friends" were so distant from me (not just physically, since many of them are living in states far removed from mine) and that wasn't helping my isolation feelings when trying to find my balance.

I'm having a rough day today. I find myself wanting to do nothing, go nowhere, talk to no one. If I had my way, I'd tell the kids to fend for themselves - or better yet - send them somewhere with a qualified and responsible babysitter - and hide in my room all day. I'd read, I'd sleep, I'd watch some stupid, mindless TV and I'd be fine. I'm hoping that this isn't a new permanent state of affairs - that I'm just having a bad day fueled by the pregnancy blahs, the heat (man, is it hot outside) and the iffy-ness our air conditioning unit.

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