Resolve

I HATE New Years resolutions. I think I say this every year. Most people make a New Year's Resolution, screw up by the first of March and give up their pursuit of self-improvement. But I've got a few projects going on this year in that department - I'm ready to improve myself, my house, my life.

I'm reading 2 books that are supposed to help me with these goals. I'm reading Clutter Rehab by Laura Wittman who also writes the I'm An Organizing Junkie blog. I'm in need of some new tips to re-inspire me to get my house in order.

I'm also reading 48 days to the Work You Love. My husband read it and it inspired him to further educate himself and decide what direction he needs to pursue to get a new job that he feels he will actually like. He's been trying to talk me into reading it for months, but I've been dragging my feet and I finally agreed to do it and began it this past month. (It's slow going. See: 2 kids, holidays, etc.) But I'm motivated to get a better idea what I might be suited to. I love being home with my kids, but it depresses me to think that it's the only thing I'm suited for, when so often, I feel like there is something missing in my life.

My other project is to slim down and shape up. I've often said I'm out of shape, but if I'm honest, I can honestly say that I'm not just out of shape, I've never been IN shape. Starting at the age of 30, after birthing 2 children, I'm probably never going to be in super model shape (and I'm okay with that) but I can certainly improve from where I am currently, so I am motivated to do something at this point. Plus, once I reach my goal weight/size, I'm going to go buy some of those pretty clothes I've been drooling over.

I want my life to be more appealing. If this requires some effort on my part (it does - there is no "if" really) then I'm ready to step up and do it.

Some bits of randomness

• Today is the anniversary of my favorite uncle's birthday. Yesterday was the anniversary of his death. Ironic, huh? All day yesterday I kept thinking "there is something significant about this date" but I couldn't come up with anything other than an obscure former co-worker's birthday. (We haven't kept in touch for over 3 years, hence the "obscure" title) Last night during one of my many wake-ups I realized that it was the anniversary of his death. I'll call my Gramma today to let her know I am thinking of her today.

• Wouldn't it be nice to start the year off with a potty-trained toddler? Yeah. It would. But unless today and tomorrow get a miracle, I'll still be prodding her to pee on the potty instead of in her diaper/pull up/on my couch. (okay, so I stopped putting her in panties because of the one couch incident. Maybe I should say "on my floor" since that's usually what happened when I put her in panties.) She asked me for panties today and I told her that if she could keep her pull-up dry for a few hours, she could have panties. About 15 minutes later, she announced that she had to potty and we went, and she went, but we already had a very wet pull-up. Grrrr. So frustrating.

• I got a great deal on a J Crew cardigan today online. My first J Crew anything, actually. I usually find their stuff too pricey for my budget, but this was a final sale price, plus 30% off, so... a $90 sweater for $20, including shipping and I'm psyched. I'm looking at a lot of cardigans lately because of the Emma Pillsbury inspiration. Her skirts, while adorable, aren't practical for my life, but I can do the cardigans without issue.

• I am heading to Target today to buy some new bins. Fuss got a bunch of toys for Christmas that need to be contained, and they have these huge bins on wheels on sale that I think might fit ALL of our Christmas decorations. Wouldn't it be nice to just have ONE big bin and not have to spread 5 boxes all over my living room at Christmas time? Yeah, I thought so too. Step one to getting organized.
  
  

• My husband got his wisdom teeth removed yesterday (2 of them) and he was going to try and do it with just novacaine. He passed out on them during the numbing process, so they had to put him under. Poor guy was so groggy afterwards. But he was really a great patient and was helping out with the kids by mid-afternoon. He felt well enough to go to work this morning (it was a half day, and there's no reason to eat up his vacation days for a half day if he's feeling okay, I guess.) I wouldn't still be in my nightclothes at 10:45am if he was home, but...

Want to shop

I've been spending a lot of time lately online window shopping. By that I mean I look and I search and I play around, but I don't buy. I'm still at a size that I'd like to slim down and I don't want to go out and buy a bunch of clothes just to do it again in a short time. However, I'm also very aware that my closet is very lacking.

I spend a lot of time looking at outfit ideas that often include
A) Items I can't afford even if I want to (Who would buy a $2000 clutch purse? I don't get it.)
B) Items I can't justify spending money on (like really adorable shoes that I won't wear very often)
C) Items that just aren't all that practical for the life I lead (dresses, dressy skirts, etc. Keep in mind I'm still nursing full-time so I'm lifting my shirt up ever 2-3 hours during the day and I spend a lot of time crawling around on the floor with my kids.)

But a girl can dream , right?

I've lost one jeans size (compared to my pre-pregnancy size) so that's a step in the right direction, and I'm planning to start some exercise (I got the 30 Day Shred DVD for Christmas) within the next week. (I was planning to start Monday, but the combination of the cold weather and a few much earlier than I wanted mornings with the baby and... I WILL start sometime between now and the 1st. I will!) So it's silly to go crazy with the buying...

But I want to SHOP! And I want pretty clothes, not just jeans and t-shirts. But when would I wear them? My reality is that I wear casual, functional, comfortable, washable clothes 7 days a week. I wear somewhat dressy clothes for a few hours on Sunday mornings and I sometimes dress up for an evening out with my husband or girlfriends. (I would say that it would be generous to say that I do this once a month.) And honestly, I am too practical to spend a lot of money on clothes I'm not going to wear.

I'm both talking myself into and out of buying clothes, all in the same post. This is the life I lead, I suppose.