Temper, temper

I'm a redhead, so it's both presumed and reality that I have a temper. Usually, I say that I have a very long fuse but it is attached to a keg of dynamite. As I've grown and matured, I'd like to say that I've gotten pretty good at controlling my temper.

I get irritate by things, of course. You can find me yelling at other drivers when they are inconsiderate or stupid. I have little patience for people who act like morons when they should know better. I'm not the most patient of people. (It's a fault I learned from my dad) But that doesn't get to me really. What makes me mad at myself is when I lose my temper with my daughter.

I guess it's partially that I'm not used to kids. I often don't have the correct concept of what they should know/how they should act/what they should be able to control at what age. I get frustrated when I have to tell her over and over not to do something, or to do something. I get so so frustrated. I always thought that it would be easier. A little consistency, and she would behave, a little instruction and she would follow the rules. But it's every day. It's often every hour. EVERY hour. I have to tell her to come here several times and I feel like I shouldn't by now. She SHOULD obey me, after being taught over and over again that when mommy calls, she is supposed to come. But somehow, it's the same thing over and over. I have to call and call. I have to threaten. Or occasionally bribe.

So then I get mad at myself for yelling at her. Or being less than gentle when I scoop her up to put her in timeout. Or leave her in her crib for too long because she's driving me crazy, even though her timeout should be over by now.

So I'm working on it. I'm trying to discipline without reacting, instead of yelling and reacting. It' s just harder than I thought. So now in addition to being frustrated with her, I'm frustrated with me, too. Hmmmm.

Cooler than me

So I think my baby is cooler than me.

I knew it would happen. Logic says that the further in age you are from being "in the know" or whatever the less "cool" you are. I expected it, really. But I thought I had until she was older - in her teens or preteens.

She was wearing this cute little outfit the other day. This sweet long-sleeved t-shirt and these adorable denim shorts and I looked at her and she is just SO adorable. And looks kinda trendy. And I'm a frump. I'm not looking my best these days. I don't always try with the make up very much anymore, my clothes run from clean but sloppy (tanks and big t-shirts, shorts and jeans) to classic, but a bit boring (a nicer shirt or sweater with same shorts or jeans). My hair is not making me happy these days because I am trying to grow it out to a length that I can ponytail it, at least... I have almost nothing nice and fashionable right now - our budget doesn't allow for a lot of clothing purchases and since my life is much more casual now, I don't put in the effort I once did. Is that how it all begins? How a once-(reasonably)cool mom becomes frumpy, out of touch and by the time the kids are twelve and really starting to care about appearance they have completely lost every shred of ability to come across as "cool."

I just didn't think it would happen so soon.

100 Things (a meme, sue me)

100 Things

Everything you could possibly ever want to know about me… plus 99 more things.

1. I was born in August
2. in Florida
3. and never really left
4. except when I spent a year in GA for school.
5. I married my high school best friend
6. after a short string of boyfriends he put up with
7. as I did the same for his girlfriends.
8. I am smart
9. (but he is smarter)
10. and I love to learn
11. but I'm not great at school.
12. So when I finally graduated from college
13. it was actually a technical design school
14. and I have a degree
15. (that I don't use)
16. in Graphic design.
17. I am a very social person.
18. Which is why I liked my old job
19. and struggle being a stay-at-home mom.
20. My husband is still my best friend
21. but I just call him my husband instead.
22. My best girlfriend isn't related,
23. but I call her my sister anyhow.
24. The girl I call my BFF
25. is technically my 2nd best girlfriend.
26. I love her
27. but she often drives me crazy.
28. We are very different
29. but it works for us, somehow.
30. I'm close with my mom
31. probably because I was an only child
32. and my dad lived with us,
33. but was never around.
34. My parents split up
35. when I was 19
36. and it sucked,
37. even though I was technically an adult.
38. This caused me to not like my mom
39. (for a bit)
40. and develop a much better relationship with my dad
41. who later moved in with a woman named Connie
42. who I love
43. and would like him to marry.
44. But he won't
45. because he doesn't want to go through that again.
46. My mom had a string of awful boyfriends
47. and then finally met Doc
48. who has his PhD in some sort of biology
49. and works in environmental stuff.
50. They got married
51. a year after us
52. on the weekend I had wanted my own anniversary.
53. But I'm not bitter.
54. He gave me 3 step-brothers
55. who aren't around much.
56. But I'm still the oldest
57. and most mature.
58. We have one daughter.
59. So far.
60. My husband wants 3 or 4 kids.
61. I'm thinking about it.
62. I really wanted a girl first.
63. Since I don't know how to handle boys.
64. And I'm so glad I got her.
65. If we ever have a son, his name will be a III in response to his dad
66. and (late) grandfather.
67. We will call him Tre
68. because he's the third.
69. I'm name obsessed
70. which is fun
71. but I'll never have enough kids to satisfy my list of names I love
72. not even if I have 8 like Octomom.
73. We love movies
74. and TV
75. and we constantly talk in movie quotes.
76. This both intrigues and annoys people
77. especially my mother
78. and his.
79. A lot of my post titles are based on that habit.
80. I read voraciously.
81. I can easily read 5-7 books a day
82. if I'm given the time or chance.
83. I recently rediscovered the library
84. because my budget can no longer afford my book habit.
85. I also love food
86. which works out great
87. because my husband loves to cook.
88. We love spicy food
89. and feed it to our daughter, too
90. even though she isn't even 2 (yet).
91. Sometimes she even eats it.
92. I also love God
93. and probably should have put that higher on the list.
94. I borrowed that sentiment from the person I borrowed the meme from (rootsandrings.wordpress.com)
95. But that doesn't mean it isn't true.
96. I was once in a fake sorority called Pi Chi
97. We chose those letters because we had another nickname
98. "The Psycho Chicks in Trailer 6."
99. I'm surprised you have lasted this long.
100. I love comments, if you want to leave some!

I borrowed this from Roots and Rings, so to read hers, click here.